The Project Gutenberg eBook of The works of the Rev. John Wesley, Vol. 11 (of 32)

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Title: The works of the Rev. John Wesley, Vol. 11 (of 32)

Author: John Wesley

Release date: May 13, 2024 [eBook #73617]

Language: English

Original publication: Bristol: William Pine, 1771

Credits: Richard Hulse and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WORKS OF THE REV. JOHN WESLEY, VOL. 11 (OF 32) ***

The Works of the

Rev. John Wesley, M.A.

Transcriber’s Notes

The cover image was provided by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.

Punctuation has been standardized.

Most of the non-common abbreviations used to save space in printing have been expanded to the non-abbreviated form for easier reading.

The author has used an asterisk (*) to indicate passages he considers most worthy of attention.

The text is very inconsistent in its usage of quotation marks. The transcriber has attempted to make their use consistent throughout this work for improved readability.

This book was written in a period when many words had not become standardized in their spelling. Words may have multiple spelling variations or inconsistent hyphenation in the text. These have been left unchanged unless indicated with a Transcriber’s Note.

The symbol ‘‡’ indicates the description in parenthesis has been added to an illustration. This may be needed if there is no caption or if the caption does not describe the image adequately.

Footnotes are identified in the text with a superscript number and are shown immediately below the paragraph in which they appear.

Transcriber’s Notes are used when making corrections to the text or to provide additional information for the modern reader. These notes are identified by ♦♠♥♣ symbols in the text and are shown immediately below the paragraph in which they appear.

THE

WORKS

OF THE

Rev. JOHN WESLEY, M.A.

Late Fellow of Lincoln-College, OXFORD.

VOLUME XI.

BRISTOL:

Printed by WILLIAM PINE, in Wine-Street.

MDCCLXXII.

THE

CONTENTS

Of the ELEVENTH VOLUME.

An Extract of the life and death of Mr. Thomas Haliburton.

PART ♦IV.

♦ “III.” replaced with “IV.”

Chapter IV. Of his death.

An extract of the life of Monsieur de Renty.

Chapter I. Of his marriage, birth, and general way of life.

Chapter II. His humility.

Chapter III. His self-denial and mortification.

Chapter IV. His patience.

Chapter V. His faith.

Chapter VI. His hope.

Chapter VII. His love of God.

Chapter VIII.

Section I. His love of man in general.

Section II. His charity to the poor.

Section III. His charity to the sick.

♦Section IV. His zeal for the salvation of his neighbour.

♦ “VI.” replaced with “IV.”

Chapter IX. His outward behaviour and conduct of business.

Chapter X. His death.

An extract from the life and death of Thomas Walsh.

The introduction.

Chapter I. Of his birth and education.

Chapter II. Of his religion, and the struggle which he found between nature and grace, till the sixteenth year of his age.

Chapter III. Giving a farther account of him; the corruptions he struggled against, and the means he made use of to subdue them.

Chapter IV. Of his forsaking the church of Rome.

Chapter V. Some further account of his progress in the way of life, with other reasons of his conduct, in regard of the church of Rome.

Chapter VI. Of some particulars previous to his Conversion.

Chapter VII. Giving a farther account of his soul particularly of his deep convictions.

Chapter VIII. Of his finding rest to his soul.

Chapter IX. Of the confirmation of his soul in the grace of God, and the happy effects which it produced in him.

Chapter X. His employment among his Christian brethren, and the treatment he met with from the world.

Chapter XI. His providential appointment to labour for the good of his neighbour, by preaching the gospel.

Chapter XII. He begins to preach.

PART II.

Chapter I. Of his entire application to preaching the gospel.

Chapter II. He goes into the provinces of Leinster and Connought, and preaches the word there.

Chapter III. Some farther account of the troubles he met with, on account of preaching the gospel.

♦Chapter IV. A short account of the endeavours of the Romish clergy, to prevent his usefulness among their people.

♦ “VI” replaced with “IV”

Chapter V. He goes to England, and labours there.

Chapter VI. His love to souls, and zeal for promoting the glory of God.

Chapter VII. His application to study, love to the holy scriptures, improvement which he made thereof.

Chapter VIII. His manner of preaching.

Chapter IX. Of his frequent sickness, the exercises of his mind therein, and the improvement which he made thereof.

Chapter X. Of his temptations, conflicts, and exercises of soul.

Chapter XI. His communion with God.

Chapter XII. Some farther particulars, relating to the head of his communion with God.

PART III.

Chapter I. An extract from Mr. Thomas Walsh’s diary, relating chiefly, to the experience of his own soul, in his course of walking with God.

Chapter II. The extract from his diary continued.

Chapter III. The same continued.

An EXTRACT of  the

LIFE AND DEATH OF

Mr. THOMAS HALIBURTON.

PART ♦IV.

♦ “III.” replaced with “IV.”

CHAPTER IV.

Of his death.

1.  ON Wednesday, September 17, (and some days preceding) he was under great trouble of mind; and a friend asking him that morning, How he had rested in the night? He answered, “Not well. I have been this night sore tossed with the thoughts of eternity. I have been thinking on the Terribilia Dei¹, and all that is difficult in death to a Christian. All my enemies have been round about me. I had a great conflict, and faith was like to fail. O that I may be kept now in this last trial, from being an offence to his people!”

¹ i. e. The terrible things of God.

In the afternoon, when some of his brethren visited him, he said, “I am but young, and of little experience, but this death-bed now makes me old; therefore I use the freedom to exhort you to faithfulness in the Lord’s work. You will never repent this. He is a good master. I have always found him so. If I had a thousand lives I should think all too little to be employed in his service.”

2. Thursday, September 18. Being asked in the morning, How he was? He said, “O what a terrible conflict had I yesterday! But now I may say, I have fought the good fight, I have kept the faith. Now he hath put a new song in my mouth. Praise, praise is comely for the upright. Shortly I shall have another sight of God than ever I had, and be more fit to praise him than ever. O the thoughts of an incarnate God are sweet and ravishing! And, O! how do I wonder at myself, that I do not admire him more! O that I could honour him? What a wonder I enjoy such composure under these pains, and in view of approaching death! O, what a mercy, that I have the use of my reason, till I have declared his goodness to me!”

To his wife he said, “He came to me in the third watch of the night, walking upon the waters; and he said to me, I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end: I was dead, and am alive, and live for evermore and have the keys of death and hell. He stilled the tempest of my soul, and there is a sweet calm.”

When desired to be tender of his health, he said, “I’ll strive to last as long as I can. I have no more to do with my time, but to tepe it out¹ for the glory of God.” Then he said, “I shall see my Redeemer stand on the earth at the last day. But before then, I shall see the Lamb in the midst of the throne. O, it will be a glorious company, the spirits of just men made perfect, and Jesus the mediator of the new covenant! O, for grace! Grace to be patient to the end!”

¹ i. e. Spend it thriftily.

Then he desired a minister to pray.

After prayer, he called for a little water to wash his eyes, and said, “I hope to get them washed shortly, and made like doves eyes, and then farewel sin, farewel sorrow.”

Then taking some refreshment, he said, “I get sleep from him, and food from him; and I shall get himself. My flesh and my heart faileth; but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.”

Seeing his youngest child, he said to her “Mary, my dear, the Lord bless you; the God of your father, and my father, bless you; the God that fed me all my life; the angel that redeemed me from evil, bless you and the rest, and be your portion; that is a good heritage, better then if I had crowns and scepters to leave you. My child, I received you from him, and I give you to him again.”

To his wife he said, “My dear encourage yourself in the Lord; he will keep you, though you even fall into enemies hands.” And then, declaring his willingness to part with his dearest relations, he said, “This is the practice of religion, to make use of it when we come to the pinch; this is a lesson of practical divinity.”

When the physician came, he said, “Doctor, as to this piece of work, you are near at an end of it. God be with you, and persuade you to be in earnest; I return you thanks for your diligence. Is my pulse low? I am well pleased it is. I would have been content to have been away long e’re now; a few strokes more, and victory, victory, forever, through the captain of our salvation!”

“Now get acquaintance with God. The little acquaintance I have had with God within these two days, has been better than ten thousand times the pains I have been at all my life about religion. It is good to have him to go to, when we are turning our face to the wall. He is known in Sion for a sure refuge, a very present help in trouble.”

“What a strange hardness there is in the hearts of men? But whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear, it is our duty to speak; and when we are dead and gone, what we spoke in the name of the Lord, may take hold of them.”

To his eldest child he said, “Ah, Margaret, you seem sometimes to have convictions from God. Beware of them; they are the most dangerous things you ever meddled with. Each of them is God’s messenger; and if you despise the messenger of God, he will be avenged of you.”

To a minister who came in he said, “I am waiting for the salvation of God.” He answered, “If the Lord would spare you it would be a mercy to this place.” He replied, “What can a poor wretch signify? I could do nothing: I signify nothing. But, I tell you, brother, what I have thought of long; I fear, from the taking off the servants of God at this time, that there is like to be a general overflowing consumption, running over not only this, but all the reformed churches.”

To the apothecary he said, “Study religion in youth: when you come to be as I am, you will find no comfort without it. I give you this as a solemn warning from God; if you come to be hardened by the frequent sight of men in my state, you may come to be hardened for ever.”

To three ministers he said, “My dear brethren, it is purely from a sincere love to you, that I presume to say, when God helped me to diligence in studying and meditating, I found him then remarkably shining upon me. There is nothing to be had with a slack hand. You are in an evil day. However, be ♦faithful and God will strengthen you for his own work, if you are faithful therein. You cannot, it is true, bring all persons to the Lord, but you may make their consciences, will they, or nill they, speak for the Lord.

♦ “faithul” replaced with “faithful”

“I repent continued he, I did not do more for him; but I have peace in it; what I did, I did in sincerity: he accepts of the mite. It was the delight of my heart to preach the gospel, and it made me sometimes neglect a frail body. I desired to decrease, that the bridegroom might increase, and to be nothing, that he might be all. And I rejoice in his highness.

*“Brethren, this is encouragement to you to try and go farther. Alas! I have gone no length; but would fain have gone farther: the hand of the diligent maketh rich. Much study, much prayer, temptations also, and distinct deliverances from temptations, are useful helps, I was fond enough of books; but I must say what God let me see of my ill heart, was of more use than all my books.” One said, “This is to believe and therefore to speak.” He replied, “The Lord help me to honour him. I desire no more. O that I had the tongues of men and angels to praise him! I hope shortly, to get a will to answer my duty, and ability to answer my will. O to be helped so, and to fear always! How soon should I fall, if he withdrew! But do not stumble, Sirs, though, I should be shaken. The foundation standeth sure.”

When advised to be quiet a little, he said, “How should a man bestow his last breath, but in commending the Lord Jesus Christ, God cloathed in our nature, dying for our sins!” And when again prest to be tender of his body, he said, “O but my heart is full!” And then desiring a minister to pray for him, he said, “Pray that God may have pity on a weak thing, that is not able to bear much in the conflict!”

To two other ministers he said, “Above all scan your own hearts, and make use of what discoveries you get there, to enable you to dive into consciences, to awaken hypocrites, and to separate the precious from the vile; and to do it with that accuracy, and caution, as not to make sad the hearts which God hath made glad!”

“With respect to the difference which this oath is like to make among ministers, with the greatest earnestness I say, whenever it begins, remember, difference is a hot thing; there must be condescension, tenderness and forbearance. We must not fly at the ball. Whatever apprehensions I have, of some ministers not acting conscientiously, and preaching in such a way as may do hurt; yet I would speak tenderly, and act tenderly toward them. Let there be much of the forbearance and meekness that is in Jesus. Follow peace: peace is worth much: wound not our church among her enemies. The deadly evil which I fear will ruin all, is, coldness and indifferency. Many seem to try, how far they may go without being lost; but the Christian’s rule is, to stand at a distance.”

To him who had succeeded him in the parish of Ceres, he said, “That people were my choice, to whom, with much peace and pleasure, I preached, as I could, though not as I should, the gospel of Christ. Though I own, that in all things I have sinned exceedingly before the Lord, yet I have peace, in that with much concern I aimed at leading them to the Lord Jesus. Tell them, that I die rejoicing in the faith and profession of what I often preached to them, under a low state of body. Tell them, that the gospel I preached to them, if they receive it not, will be a witness against them. We are, like our master, set for the fall and rising again of many. And if we can do no more, yet if we be faithful, they shall know, that a prophet hath been among them.”

*In the night-time he said, “This growing weakness of my eyes, is a sign of a change approaching. If he shut my eyes he will open my eyes: eyes no more to behold vanity. But I shall behold him in righteousness, and when I awake, I shall be satisfied with his likeness!”

*Afterwards he said, “If this be the last day of my conflict, I would humbly desire of the Lord, that he would condescend, to be tender to one that loves his appearing: that as he has dealt wonderfully with me hitherto, so he may deal tenderly with me even to the end, in loosing the pins of my tabernacle, and helping me to honour him by a composed resignation of myself into his hands.”

When one said, “Sir, I think you have need of rest:” He answered, “I have no need of rest, were it not to put me in case, to finish my course with joy. Lo, here the power of Christ’s death, and the efficacy of his resurrection! I find the advantage of one at the right-hand of God, who is able to save to the uttermost! That is the sight I long for: he will but shut my eyes, and open them in glory. To have my soul entirely submissive to him in all things, that is my desire. And, so it will be shortly; then never will there be a reluctant thought, never one more estranged thought from God!”

*To one who asked, if he was not faint, he answered, “I am not faint, I am refreshed as with wine. O there is a sweet calm in my soul. My desires are towards him, and the remembrance of his name. Remember him! Why should not I remember him, that remembered me in my low condition? He passed by and said, live! And when he says, he gives life.”

He then desired to have read the former part of the first chapter of the second epistle to the Corinthians. And after the 9th and 10th verses were read, We had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God which raiseth the dead: who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver, in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us. He said, “Now there ’tis all. God hath delivered me, and I trust that he will deliver me, and bruise Satan shortly under my feet, and I shall get the victory over the cunning world, and the deceitful heart. Many a weary day have I had with my unbelief! If I had had faith to believe things not seen, to believe that my happiness lay not in things temporal but eternal: if I had had faith’s abiding impression realizing these things, I should not have known how to abide out of heaven a moment.”

*When he was desired to sleep, he answered, “Those I am going to, sleep not day nor night, but cry, Holy, holy, holy! They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, and mount up with wings as of an eagle. I cannot get my heart in a right tune, as I would have it; but it will be so in a short time.” After he had lain still a little, one said, “You have not slept.” He answered, “No; I had much work; but blessed be God, pleasant work.”

Afterwards, when his wife asked how he was, he said, “My dear, I am longing for the salvation of God, and hastening to it.” Then seeing her very sad, he said, “My dear, encourage yourself; here is a body going to clay, and a soul going to heaven; where I hope you are to come.”

*3. Friday, September 19. About five in the morning, when he was desired to try if he could sleep, he answered, “No, no; should I lie here altogether useless? Should not I spend the last of my strength, to shew forth his glory?” He then held up his hands (which were much swelled) and said, “Lame hands, and lame feet! But see a lame man leaping and rejoicing!”

*Feeling some pain, he said, “This is one of the fore-runners of the change, the great change. O when shall I be admitted to see the glory of the higher house? Instead of that cloudy light of a created sun, to see that clear and perfect glory!”

After some time’s silence, he took leave of his wife and children, saluting and speaking to them all, one by one. Then he said, “A kind and affectionate wife you have been to me. The Lord bless you, and he shall bless you.” To a minister that came in, he said, “Brother, I am upon a piece of trying work. I am parting with my wife and children. I am resolved, I bless his name; though I have had one of the best of wives, yet she is no more mine, but the Lord’s.”

*Then to his son he said, “God bless the lad, and let my name be named upon him. But O, what is my name! Let the name of the Lord be named upon him. Tell the generation following, how good God is, and hand down this testimony.”

After that, he spoke to his servants and said, “My dear friends, make religion your business. I charge you all, beware of graceless masters; seek to be with them that fear the Lord.”

Then he said, “Here’s a demonstration of the reality of religion; and that I a poor, weak, timorous man, once as much afraid of death as any: I that have been many years under the terrors of death, come now, in the mercy of God, and by the power of his grace, composedly and with joy to look death in the face. I have seen it in its paleness, and in all its circumstances of horror. I dare look it in the face in its most ghastly shape, and hope within a while to have the victory.”

He then said to some ministers, “My brethren, I have been giving up my wife and children to God. I am upon the wing for eternity; but glory to God, I know in whom I have believed.”

*Then he said, “Dear brethren, will you speak a word to one that longs to hear of him? O I love to hear the gospel, I love to preach it: ’Tis a joyful sound, a sweet sound. I love to hear of his name. His name is as ointment poured forth. I love to live preaching Christ; and I love to die preaching Christ.”

After that he said, “Brethren, I take this opportunity to acknowledge your tenderness to me, who am unworthy of it in many respects. I can say, I desired to live in love with you, and bless God, there was harmony among us. The Lord bless you and your labours: the Lord himself multiply blessings on you and your families, and support you against all discouragements.” Then to one of them he said, “My dear friend, shew kindness to my dear wife, and children. I recommend her to your care; she has been the friend of my bosom, the wife of my youth, a faithful friend.” Afterward he said, “Let patience have its perfect work. My soul longs more than they that wait for the morning. Lord Jesus make haste, until the day break, and the shadows flee away!”

4. After this, at his desire, a paper was read over, which he had dictated some days before. This he owned before several witnesses, and desired them to attest it. The tenor whereof follows.

Having before so disposed of my worldly concerns, as I judged expedient for my family; I thought myself bound, moreover, by this latter will, to declare my sentiments as to religion; being through the mercy of God, in the full and composed exercise of my reason, although very weak in body.

First, then, I acknowledge, I came into the world a defiled branch of apostate Adam, under the guilt of his sin, and tainted with the pollution of sin derived from him; having a heart full of alienation from, and enmity against God: in a word, a child of wrath, an heir of hell. And long did I follow the bent of this corrupt nature, going on from ill to worse: indeed I had ruined myself, and could do nothing for my own recovery; and must have been everlastingly lost, if God in tender mercy had not looked upon me.

I must, on the other hand, bless God who cast my lot in a land where the gospel of Christ is revealed; who so ordered it, that I was born of religious parents, and by them was seriously devoted to him. And whereas I early subjected myself to other lords, I adore God, that by his word and his spirit, he ceased not to strive with me, until in the day of his power he made me chearfully return to the God of my fathers.

I bless God, that when I stood trembling under the terrors of his law, he seasonably snatched me from despair, by discovering the blessed way of salvation for self-destroyed sinners through a dying Saviour. ’Tis he alone who must answer for me. Without him I am undone. On him the efficacy of his sufferings, the power of his resurrection, and of his whole mediation, as revealed in the gospel, do I build all my hope.

I bless God that ever he honoured such a sinful, unworthy worm, to preach the glorious gospel of his Son. I confess I have but ill managed this glorious trust, but have been a sinner in all I did exceedingly. Yet so far as I know my own heart, it was the life of my life, to preach Christ crucified; nor durst I deal coldly and indifferently in a matter whereon I knew depended both my own and my hearers salvation. And I must bear testimony to my master, that he never bid me go any part of my warfare upon my own charges. If I was straitened, it was in my own bowels; but when I freely gave what I had freely received, I never wanted seed for sowing, and bread for the eater, nor (I hope) a blessing.

I desire to join my insignificant testimony to that of the glorious cloud of witnesses, that the gospel is the power of God unto salvation, to every one that believeth; that the way of holiness is the way of pleasantness and peace; and the ordinances of the gospel, are the effectual means of communion and fellowship with the Father and the Son.

Indeed all in God’s way, and in his word, is glorious, honourable, and like himself: he needs none of our testimonies; but it is the least we can do to celebrate his praises. I therefore being in some sense obliged, take this solemn occasion, before all the world, to acknowledge these, among many other obligations, I have received from him. And to bequeath, as my last legacy to my family, this advice, to chuse the Lord for their God: for he hath been my father’s God, the God both of my wife’s predecessors and mine. We hope he hath been our God. And I recommend him to my children, solemnly charging them, as they will answer it at the last day, to make it their first care, to seek peace with God, and reconciliation through Christ crucified; and being reconciled, to make it their perpetual study to please him in all things. It is my repeated charge to you all, follow God; follow him early, follow him fully. I have oft devoted you, as I could, to God; and there is nothing I have so much at heart as to have this stand, that ye may indeed be the Lord’s. O that God himself may determine your tender hearts to seek him early, and he will be a good portion, and see well to you.

As for my body, I commit it to the dust under the care of the keeper of Israel; expecting and hoping that that quickning spirit, who is the spirit of the head, and actuates all the members of his mystical body, will in due time, quicken my mortal body: and for my spirit, I commit it unto the Lord Jesus, with whom I have entrusted it long ago: and I will end with Stephen, crying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.

THO. HALIBURTON.

3. Soon after he said, “I confess God has been beating me in a mortar this long time; but he has been doing much work. My soul is even as a weaned child. I am loosed from all my enjoyments. My heart is disengaged even from my dearest wife and children, but I have put them in a good hand.”

To a friend he said, “There is a sweet composure in the Lord. The beams of the house are, as goodly cedar. I am laying down my tabernacle to resume it again. O for grace to be faithful unto death! After we have gone through many things, we have still need to wait on God till the last. For he that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved.”

Then he said to the physician, “I fancy my feet are growing cold: yea all the parts of this body are going to ruin. You may believe a man stepping into eternity. I am not acting as a fool. I have weighed eternity this night. I have looked on death in every circumstance that is terrible to nature. And under the view of all these, I found, that in the way of God there is not only a rational satisfaction, but a power that engages and rejoices the heart. I have narrow thoughts: I am like to be overwhelmed, and, I know not where I am, when I think on what I am to be, and what I am to see. I have long desired and prayed for it.”

*Some time after he said, “O sirs, I dread mightily, that a rational sort of religion is coming in among us, a religion that consists wholly in moral duties and ordinances, without the power of godliness, a way of serving God which is mere deism, having no relation to Jesus Christ and the Spirit of God.”

To a minister that came from Edinburgh, he said, “Come and see your friend in the best case you ever saw him in, longing for a deliverance, and hasting to the coming of the day of God. I sent for you, to encourage you to preach the gospel in an ill world, and to stand by Christ, who had been so good to me. This is the best pulpit that ever I was in. I am now laid on this bed for this end, that I may commend my Lord.”

6. Saturday, September 20. In the morning when a minister asked how he was, he answered, “I am composed, waiting for him.” He replied, “You see how kindly he deals with you: he gives you both heavenly exercise and heavenly enjoyments: he deals so tenderly with you, that you have little to do but to praise.” He answer’d, “I have reason to desire the help of all to praise him. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, magnify his holy name!”

To some entering the room, he said, “You are all very welcome. I am taking a little wine for refreshment. In awhile, I shall have new wine in the kingdom of his glory. I dare scarce allow my thoughts to fix directly upon it. I must look aside lest I be overwhelmed. But I must speak of him who hath done wonderful things for me, and kept me in a perfect calm. Verily, light is sown for the upright, and gladness for the true of heart. O when shall I conceive aright of glory! I cannot order my speech now, because of darkness! I long to behold it, but I will wait till he comes. I have experienced much of his goodness since I lay on this bed. I have found that tribulation worketh experience, and experience patience, and patience hope. And I have found the love of God shed abroad in my soul.” Then turning to his wife, he said, “My dear, encourage yourself in the hope, that under the conduct of the same captain of salvation, you will come thither also. Cast yourself and your family upon the Lord. Encourage yourself; God liveth. Blessed be my Redeemer, the rock of my salvation!”

*Then he said, “Who is like unto him? O, what has he allowed me this night! I know now the meaning of that, Whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, ye shall receive it. The Lord hath even allowed me to be very minute in every circumstance. Many a day have I feared, how I should get through the valley of the shadow of death: but now I fear not. Blessed be God, who, since I laid down here, hath carried on a work of sanctification far in my soul, that makes me meet for heaven! Young as I am, I die old and satisfied with days. The child is going to die an hundred years old. I am like a shock of corn, fully ripe. But, O, I have been under a bright sun, in a day when the sun of righteousness shone, and I have had glorious showers.”

After a little silence he said, “I have slept, and am refreshed. And now what shall I say? I can say no more to commend the Lord; not for want of matter, but of words. Well, Sirs, you’ll meet with difficulties; but this may encourage you, you see God owns his servants own him, and despise what his enemies can do against them?—God has kept my judgment for the best piece of work I ever had. O what of God do I see! I never saw any thing like it. The beginning and end of religion are wonderful sweet.” One said, “God’s dealing with you has been very uncommon.” He answered, “Very uncommon indeed, if you knew all that I know. But therein is the excellency of his power seen, in that he maketh the weak strong.”

A while after he said to those about him, “O this is the most honourable pulpit I was ever in! I am preaching the same Christ, the same holiness, the same happiness I did before. I have much satisfaction in that. I am not ashamed of the gospel I have preached. I was never ashamed of it in all my days; and I am not ashamed of it at the last. Here am I, a weak man, in the hand of the king of terrors, rejoicing in hope of the glory that shall be revealed; and that by the death and resurrection of a despised Christ. When the beginning of this trouble was upon me, I aim’d (as my strength would allow) at that, shew me some token for good; and indeed I think, God hath shewed me a token for good.”

Then perceiving his spirits faint, he said, “Come Lord Jesus, receive my spirit, fluttering within my breast like a bird to be out of a snare.—When shall I hear him say, The winter is past; arise my love and come away? Come and take me by the hand, That I stumble not in the dark valley of death!”

Then he desired a minister to pray; and after prayer said, “Lord, I wait for thy salvation. I wait as the watchman watcheth for the morning. I am weary with delays! O why are his chariot wheels so long a coming! I am sick of love. I am faint with delay!”

Then he said, “draw the curtains about me, and let me see what he has a mind to do with me:” And after a while, “Whence is this to me? There is a strange change within this half hour. Ah, I am like to be shipwrecked to health again? O what sort of providence is this? I was in hopes to have been at my journey’s end: and now I am detained by a cross wind. I desire to be patient under his hand; but he must open my heart to glorify him. O pray for me; pray for me; that none who fear him may be ashamed on my account.”

To the apothecary he said, “I thought to have been away, but I am come back again. I was glad to be gone; yet I am not wearied. He has not allowed a fretting thought. My pain is great; but I am enabled to bear it. O I am a monument of the power of God. My great desire has been these many years, to suffer for the truth of our religion. And now God has given me the greatest honour to be a living witness to it. I am a monument that we have not followed cunningly devised fables. I shall be at heaven shortly, by the word of my testimony, and the blood of the Lamb.” Then to a citizen he said, “There are but few names in this place, that set their faces heavenward. But be you encouraged to go on: you have been a kind neighbour; the Lord bless you and your family. They that are planted in the house of the Lord, shall flourish in the courts of our God. Here is an evidence of it. Last winter I thought I was going to be cast out as a withered branch, and now the dead stock that was cut has budded again, and grown a tall cedar in Lebanon.”

Then he said to the ministers, “I desire to hear the word read, the word preached. Many times, when I thought on the worthies of old, I said I was born out of due time: but now I think I am born in due time; for I shall see Jesus! Jesus that delivers from the wrath to come. I shall see Elijah and Moses, the great old testament prophets. I shall see the two great mediators, the type and the antitype. The three disciples got a glorious sight of Christ in his transfiguration, to confirm their faith against the objections of the unbelieving. Was he despised as a mere man and his godhead disowned? Lo, here he appears in divine majesty and glory! Did they say he was against the law? Lo, here Moses, by whom the law was given, adoring him. Did they say, he was not the Messiah foretold by the prophets? Lo, here Elijah the most zealous of them, owning and honouring him. Was he reproached as a deceiver of the people? Lo, the voice from heaven saith, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased: hear ye him. Yet this sight was of short continuance. But in heaven we shall have an abiding sight. We shall then behold his glory; and we shall be like unto him: for we shall see him as he is.—

“O! I am full of matter! I know not where to begin or end. The Spirit of the Lord, hath been mighty with me! O, the book of God is a strange book! ’Tis written within and without. I never studied it to the half of what I should: but now God hath given me much of it together.—Never was I more uneasy in my life: and yet I was never more easy. All my bones are ready to break; my hand is a burden to me; and yet all is easy!”

*Then to his wife, he said, “O my sweet bird, are you there? I am no more yours. I am the Lord’s. I remember on the day I took you by the hand, I thought on parting with you. But I knew not how to get my heart off of you again: yet now I have got it done. Will you not give me to the Lord, my dear?” Then seeing her very sad, he said, “My dear, do not weep: you should rather rejoice: rejoice with me, and let us exalt his name together. I shall be in the same family with you: but you must stay a little behind and take care of God’s children.”

*When wakened out of sleep, he said, “I am now hand in hand, grappling with my last enemy: and I find, he is a conquerable enemy; Yea, I am more than conqueror.” One said, “A strange champion indeed!” He answered, “I? Not I, but the grace of God that is in me. By the grace of God I am what I am; and the God of peace hath bruised Satan under my feet. I have often wondered how the martyrs could clap their hands in the fire: I do not wonder at it now. I could clap my hands, though you held burning candles to them, and think it no hardship, though the flames were going about them. And yet, were the Lord withdrawn, I should cry and not be able to bear it, if you but touched my foot.”

Sunday, September 21. About three in the morning he said, “And is it the sabbath then? This is the best sabbath I ever had. On a sabbath night my George went to his rest: I bestowed him on God: blessed be his name; and he made me content. I would have given him all my children that way; and I hope it shall be so: blessed be his name!”

*After a little pause he said, “Shall I forget Sion? Then let my right-hand forget her cunning. O, to have God returning to his church, and his work going on in the world! If every drop of my blood, every atom of my body, every hair of my head, were men, they should all go to the fire, to have this going on.”

*After that he said, “I could not believe that I could have borne, and borne chearfully this rod so long. This is a miracle, pain without pain. Blessed be God that ever I was born. I have a father, a mother, and ten brethren and sisters in heaven, and I shall be the eleventh. O blessed be the day that ever I was born! O if I were where he is! And yet for all this, God’s withdrawing from me, would make me as weak as water. All which I enjoy, though it be miracle upon miracle, would not make me stand without new supplies from God. The thing I rejoice in is, that God is altogether full, and that in Jesus Christ there is all the fulness of the Godhead.”

Then to his wife he said, “O wait upon him; for he is a good God to all that serve him. He never takes any thing from them, but he gives them as good or better back again. My dear, we have had many a sweet day together: we must part for a while; but we shall meet again, and shall have one work, the praises of God, and the praises of the Lamb!”

*Then to some present he said, “Do you think that he will come and receive the prisoner of hope to day? Whether he do it or no, he is holy and righteous; yet, I confess, I long for it. I do not tire. But the hireling longs for his wages. If in his adorable wisdom he try me further, holy and reverend is his name; he is not wanting to me. I desire only grace to be faithful unto death, until I come to the land of praises, to thy gates, O Jerusalem, to give thanks to the name of the God of Jacob.”

Then a minister asking, if he should pray? He answered, “Yea, yea, pray for me.” And after prayer he said, “This night my skin has burned, my heart has panted, my body has been bruised, and there is a sore upon me, that is racking my spirit: and yet I cannot say, but the Lord still holds me in health in the midst of all. If he should please to continue me years in this case, I have no reason to complain.” One said, “No hypocrite is able, in such a condition, to counterfeit such language.” He answered, “’Tis as great a wonder to me, as to any about me. Brother, I know not whether I may desire you to beg of the Lord, with respect to this poor body to shorten my trial, if it be his will: the hireling longs for his wages; but I have reason to do it with submission.

“I long for a deliverance from the body. But if God lengthen my trouble, then why not! Righteous is his name. I know not what alteration may be. I confess, I am like a bird on the wing: and I would fain be at Immanuel’s land, where the tree of life is.

*“Well, all this is encouragement to you, to acquaint yourselves with God. All these soft cloaths are like sackcloth to me; and yet I have perfect ease of spirit. My breast and my stomach are drawn all together, as it were with cords; and yet the mercy of God keeps me composed. What is this? I could scarce have believed, even tho’ I had been told, that I could have kept in the right exercise of my judgment, under this racking pain. Whatever come of it, this is a demonstration that there is a reality in religion; and I rejoice in this, that God hath honoured a sinful worm, so as to be a demonstration of his grace. My dear friends, while I live, I must preach the gospel. He has given me awhile yet here, which ought to be reckoned precious, and so long as it lasts, my work is still to commend him. The word speaks, providence speaks in me; despise not the gospel under this new discovery. I am a sinner; shame belongs to me: worthy is the Lamb to receive glory.”

To two ministers who stayed with him while the rest went to church, he said, “If my head would bear it, I would fain hear singing. I do not find any change, and God has in some measure taken away my inclination to limit him, as to the hour.” He then joined in singing the latter part of the 84th psalm; and after singing said, *“I always had a mistuned voice, and which is worse, a mistuned heart: but when I join the temple service above, there shall not be one string of the affections out of tune.”

To some that came from church he said, “You have been in the assembly of God’s people, wherein communion with the Father and Son may be attained. These enjoyments are some of the most valuable to be had here, and the way to the rest which remaineth for the people of God. O how amiable are thy tabernacles even here! But how much more so above, where there is the eagle’s eye, that can see the glorious light, even the light of the Lord!”

*Then to the ministers he said, “When this trouble began, I expected no smile from God. I thought if I could steal away, creeping with terrors, to be plunged into eternity with a peradventure, it was fair. But he hath taken me out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock. I am nothing, less than nothing, a vile sinner; but mercy does all.”

In the night he caused the songs of degrees to be read, and said, “These psalms are so called (say some) because they were sung on the steps of the stairs that led up to the temple. And what fitter to be read to a poor sinner, that aims at climbing up the hill of God, where the great temple of God is?”

*8. Monday, September 22. At half an hour past two, he asked what hour it was, and said, “Early in the morning my friends shall be acquainted; for I expect this cough will hasten my deliverance. Well, well; I shall get out of the dark cloud; within a little I shall be in Abraham’s bosom; yes, in his, who carries the lambs in his bosom: and I am sure of goodness and mercy to follow me. O how good is he to a poor worm! Let us exalt his name together. It is the constant employ of all above, day and night. They see and sing; they have a clear vision. O when shall I see his face, who is fairer than the sons of men! Yea, who is brighter than the sun in his strength!”

To a minister he said, “Could I have believed (but I am an unbeliever) that I could have had this pleasure in this condition? Once or twice Satan was assaulting my faith. I waked in a sort of carnal frame, and I thought I had lost my jewel; but now he will stand by me to the end. *What shall I render to him? My bones are riving through my skin; and yet all my bones are praising him.”

After struggling with a defluction in his throat, he said: “This is a messenger from God to hasten me home. The other day I would have gone away without this glorious evidence of the grace of God. But this is more for my advantage, that I am thus tried and comforted. I said, Why are his chariot wheels so long a coming? But I will not say so any more. Yet a little while, and he that shall come, will come, and will not tarry.”

Then he said, “If I should say that I would speak no more in the name of the Lord, it would be like a fire within my breast.” And some looking at him as in amaze, he said, “Why look ye stedfastly on me, as though by my might or power I were so? Not I, but the grace of God in me. ’Tis the Spirit of God that supports me.”

To his wife he said, “Be not discouraged, my dear, at the unavoidable consequences of nature. ’Tis an evidence that there is but a very little time more, and death will be swallowed up in victory: the body will be shaken in pieces, and yet, blessed be God, my head is as composed as it was before my sickness.”

*Then to some present he said, “My moisture is much exhausted this night, but the dew lies all night on my branches, the dew that waits not for man, nor tarries for the sons of men. O what cannot grace do? How have I formerly repined at the hundredth part of this trouble! O study the power of religion! ’Tis the power of religion, and not the name, will give the comfort I find. I have peace in the midst of pain. And, O how much of that I have had for a time past! My peace has been like a river, not a discomposed thought. There have been some little suggestions, when my enemies joined in a league together, and made their great assault upon me. I had then one assault, and I was like to fall. But since the Lord rebuked them, there is not a discomposed thought, but all is calm.”

To a gentlewoman he said, “You are come to see your old, dying friend; a wonder indeed, but a wonder of mercy. I am preaching still, and I would be so content to do, till these flesh and bones were wasted to nothing. *The God of glory appeared to me, and the first sight I had of him was such, as won my heart to him, so as it was ♦never loosed. Many wandrings I have had, but I was never myself, till I went back to my center again.” He then rattled a little in his throat, and said, “This may be irksome to you; but every messenger of death is pleasant to me, and I am only detained here, that I may trumpet forth his praise a little longer.”

♦ “ver” replaced with “never”

*About noon he said, “I was just thinking on the pleasant spot of earth I shall get to lie in, beside Mr. Rutherford, Mr. Forrester, and Mr. Anderson. I shall come in as the little one among them, and I shall get my pleasant George in my hand; and O, we shall be a knot of bonny dust.” Then he said, “It will not be all my sore bones, that will make me weary yet (as long as God gives me judgment to conceive, and a tongue to speak) to preach his gospel.”

Then with the utmost warmth he broke out, “Strange, this body is sinking into corruption, and yet my intellectuals are so lively, that I cannot say there is the least alteration, the least decay of judgment or memory. Such vigorous actings of my spirit toward God, and things that are not seen! But not unto us; not unto us; which I must have still on my heart, lest cursed self steal the glory from God!”

Some time after he said, “Good is the will of the Lord. Every one of these throws is good; and I must not want one of them: I must not fly from my post, but stand as a centinel, for this is my particular work. This would be hard work without Christ: but ’tis easy with him who is the captain of my salvation.”

He mentioned the pain in his head, but said, “In a battle there must be blood and dust. Every battle of the warrior is with confused noise, and garments rolled in blood. ’Tis meet I should be so hard put to it, that I may know to whom I owe my strength. O that I were at the throne above, that my glimmering light were taken away, that this unsteady faith might terminate in vision!”

Then he said, “If I am able, though I cannot speak, I’ll shew you a sign of triumph, when I am near glory!”

To his wife he said, “My dear be not discouraged, though I should go away in a fainting fit. The Lord’s way is the best way. I am composed. Though my body be vexed, my spirit is untouched.”

*One said, “Now you are putting your seal to that truth, that godliness is great gain. And I hope you are encouraging yourself in the Lord.” As a sign of it, he lifted up his hands and clapped them. And in a little time, about seven in the morning, he went to the land, where the weary are at rest.

An EXTRACT of  the LIFE of

Monsieur DE RENTY,

A late NOBLEMAN of FRANCE.

CHAPTER I.

Of his birth, marriage, and general way of life.

1.  MR. De Renty descended from one of the most noble houses of Artois. He was the only son of Charles De Renty, and was born in the year 1611, at Beny in Low Normandy. There he was brought up till six or seven years of age, and then by his mother carried to Paris, where he lived with her about two years, till he was put into the college of Navarre; whence he was sent to Caen, till at seventeen he was removed to an academy, or school of genteel exercises at Paris. He was soon accomplished in all the exercises there taught: But what then pleased him most was, the mathematics. For these he slighted all sorts of diversions, till he understood them perfectly, and composed some books therein.

2. About this time a stationer whom he used, presented him with Kempis of the imitation of Christ; and some time after pressed him to read it, which he had no sooner done, than he felt new thoughts and affections, and resolved seriously to pursue the one thing needful, the working out his salvation. And ever after he so esteemed that book, that he always carried it about him, and made use of it on all occasions.

3. At the age of twenty-two, he married Elizabeth de Balsac, daughter of the Count of Graville, by whom he had five children, four of which (two sons and two daughters) survived him.

4. Having lived to the age of twenty-seven years, it pleased God to touch his heart more closely; and this time he marked as the beginning of his entire change, and perfect consecration to God’s service: in order whereto, he was well convinced of the necessity of a good guide; and God provided him one, such as his need required, a person of deep learning, of great piety, and well-experienced in the directions of souls, who had the conduct of him for twelve years. By his advice he withdrew altogether from court, he renounced all visits of pure compliment, and all unnecessary employments to give himself up to those which might glorify God, and help his neighbour.

5. Every day before dinner, and again in the evening, he made an exact search into his smallest faults. He communicated three or four times a week, having ever an incredible esteem of the holy Eucharist, blessing and praising God for its institution, and exciting all men to do the same. He was used to say, “That the great design of God in the incarnation, life, death, and resurrection of his Son, was to convey to us his Spirit, to be unto us life eternal. And in order to cause us to die to ourselves, and live thereby, he gave him to us in this holy sacrament, and with him all the blessings of grace, to dispose us for those of glory.”

6. One day in a week he visited the poor sick people of the great hospital de Dieu: another those of his own parish; a third the prisoners; and in the rest he used to meet at assemblies of piety. He assembled his own family every evening to prayers, and discoursed to them every Saturday on the gospel for the next day. And of his children he took more special care, to engrave deeply in them the fear of God, and to convince them that the customs and maxims of the world were utterly irreconcilable to the gospel of Christ.

7. The order he kept in his journies was this: in the morning, before setting out, they joined in prayer; after setting out, the first thing done was, the saying the itinerarium; next was, the ♦singing the litanies of our Lord; then followed some meditation, and after that a part of the divine office. This being done he entertained the company with some good discourse. Beholding the spacious extent of the country, he would speak of the immensity of God. Upon the presenting of any beautiful object, he would discourse of the beauty of God, and in so lively a manner as to touch the very heart. Approaching near the place where they were to dine, he began his self-examination: and being come thither, as soon as out of his coach, he went to the church, and next, if there were any in the place, to the hospital. Being at his inn, the first thing he did in his chamber was, to cast himself on his knees, and to pray with great affection for all persons that entered that place, and for pardon of all disorders that had been there committed. If he saw any thing offensive written on the walls or chimneys, he defaced it, and in the place wrote something of instruction. And always before his departure he endeavoured to give some good advice to the servants of the house, or to such poor as he could meet with, that so he might not pass through any place without doing some good there. After dinner, when in his coach again, he took a little time for recollection, then sung the Vespers; which done, he wished the company to use some useful conversation. About four they sung the evening psalms; afterward he applied himself to mental prayer; and being come to his inn, his exercises were the same with those of the morning.

♦ “signing” replaced with “singing”

*8. A fuller account of his general way of life he writ to his second director, as follows:

“I have delayed some days after the command I had, to set down the employing of my time, for the better discovering of some things therein; but I find nothing there of strict order because all consists in following the order of God, which causes in a manner continually different things, though all upon the same foundation.

“For my outward behaviour, I usually rise at five (that is, after part of the night spent in prayer.) At my awakening, I consider myself as nothing, before the majesty of God. I unite me to his Son and Spirit. Being risen, I cast myself down, and adore the blessing of the incarnation, which gives us access to God; and deliver up myself to the Holy Jesus, to be entered into his Spirit.

“Being cloathed, I go into the chapel, where I cast myself down, and adore God, abasing me before him, and making me the most little, most naked, most empty of myself that I can; and I hold me there by faith, having recourse to his Son and to his Holy Spirit, that whatsoever is his pleasure may be done by me.

“Between six and seven I read two chapters of the New Testament bare-headed and on my knees. I then give place to my affairs; but if there be no business urgent, I prostrate myself before God till I go to church. There I stay till half an hour past eleven, except when we dine some poor people, then I return at eleven. Before dinner I examine myself, and use some prayers for the Church, and for the propagation of the faith. I dine at twelve, and in the while have something read. Half an hour past twelve I spend an hour with them that have business with me. Then I go out whither the order of God shall direct. Some days are assigned for certain exercises; others are not. But be it as it will, I endeavour to spend about evening an hour in devotion. About seven, after I have used some prayers, we go to supper. After supper I instruct my children. At nine are family prayers, after which I meditate till ten; and then going to my chamber, and recommending myself to my God, after some short prayers, I endeavour to repose.

*“As to the order of my interior, I have not (as I may say) any; for since I left my Breviary, all my forms have left me; and now instead of serving me as means to go to God, they would only be hindrances. I bear in me ordinarily an experimental verity, and a plenitude of the ♦presence of the most Holy Trinity, which elevates me to a simple view of God; and with that I do all that his providence enjoins me, not regarding any thing for their greatness or littleness, but only the order of God, and the glory they may render him.

♦ “pesence” replaced with “presence”

“For the things done in community, I often cannot rest there: I perform indeed the exterior for the keeping of order; but follow always my interior, because when a man hath God, there is no need to search for him elsewhere. And when he holds us in one manner, it is not for us to take hold of him in another, and the soul knows well what unites it and what multiplies and directs it.

“For the interior therefore, I follow his attractive; and for the exterior I see the divine will, which I follow, with the discernment of his spirit, in all simplicity; and so I possess by his grace, in all things, silence of spirit, a profound reverence, and solid peace. I communicate almost every day, perceiving myself strongly drawn thereto. *I continually give up myself to God through Jesus Christ, worshipping him in spirit and in truth, loving him with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind, and with all my strength, and seeing in all things the conduct of God, and adorning and following it. And this only abiding in my soul, all things else are defaced and blotted out. I have nothing of sensible in me, unless now and then some transitory touches: But, if any dare to say it, when I sound my will, I find it so quick and flaming, that it would devour me, if the same Lord who animates it (though unworthy) did not restrain it. I enter into a heat and into fire, and even to my fingers ends, feel that all within me speaks for its God, and stretcheth itself forth in length and breadth in his immensity, that it may there dissolve and there lose itself to glorify him.”

CHAPTER II.

His Humility.

1.  ST. Austin well observes, That poverty of spirit is nothing else but humility: The truly humble knowing themselves to be nothing of themselves but sin and misery, to have nothing, as being at best but manifold receivers of the grace of God; to be able to do nothing, having no power of themselves even to think a good thought, and to deserve nothing but shame and contempt, but misery and punishment. And they are willing, yea desirous, that all others should think of them as they do of themselves.

2. M. de Renty being well convinc’d that this is the foundation of all virtue, and that it was the proper virtue of Jesus Christ, whom he had proposed to himself as his pattern in all things, embraced it with his whole affection, gave himself up to it with all his force, and practised it in its utmost latitude.

3. He had so low an opinion of himself, as it would be a difficult thing to express. The greatness of God, whenever he considered it, humbled him to an immeasurable depth; “A mote, said he, in the sun is very little, but I am far less in the presence of God, I am nothing.” But correcting himself, he added, “Alas I am too much; I am a sinner, an anathema through my crimes.” To the same person he wrote, “Methinks I break myself in pieces before God: that I am spoken of, that I have so much as a name is a strange thing.” I have seen him very often (says one that knew him well) humble himself, as it were to the centre of the earth, while he spoke to me of God; saying, “It was not for such a one as him to speak of him, but that he ought rather to contain himself in silence.”

*4. This exceeding low opinion he had of himself, made him more than once say, with tears in his eyes, “That he was much astonished at the goodness of men in suffering of him, and that he could not enough wonder, why every where they threw not dirt at him, and that all the creatures did not bandy against him.” And he was persuaded, it was much boldness in him to speak, and that men shewed great patience in enduring his conversation.

5. Nor was there any thing which did not serve to increase his humility. He abased himself much in the consideration of the weakness of our nature, of which as he exprest it, “It is important that a man have experience, that he neither forget himself, nor the place he ought to hold: that no flesh may glory in his sight; that being abased and rendered as a thing that is not at all, Jesus Christ may be in him, the life of grace and holiness, waiting for the time of our redemption.”

6. But much was he humbled by the consideration of his past sins; In one of his letters to his director, he writes thus, “my faults are as one great heap, which I feel in myself, obstructing the light from God. I am strangely remiss and ungrateful, I find much in myself to confound and humble me.” In another, “I am sensible of my fault, in mentioning, that I had placed a servant in such a family. I had a motion within me, not to have spoken it; and yet it escaped from me: of which I am exceeding sensible. I should have been more faithful to the Spirit of God.” And in another, “I am as blind (or rather more) in seeing my faults as in other things. Only in general, I have a deep sense of my misery: And I can say, I am not ignorant of my unworthiness, and the deplorable corruption sin hath wrought in me. But lately I mentioned the faults of a certain person to another that knew of them before, to make him understand that he was in a better condition. But my conscience reproached me, that I might have done this without: and I confess I meddled too much in that affair. In sum, I am a straggler from God, and a ground over run with thorns.”

7. He drew yet further matter of humiliation from his rank and condition, and the secular advantages which it gave him. He not only despised, but was ashamed of them; often groaning before the majesty of God, and saying, “He was in the lowest condition according to the Spirit of Jesus Christ, and that he had great confusion to see himself in that estate.” Hence it was, that he solemnly renounced his nobility, and gave it into the hands of our Lord; that he did not love even for any one to call him Monsieur, and that he wholly declined the title of Marquiss (which was proper to his house) and suffered only that of Baron of Renty.

8. Even the gifts and graces of God made him more humble; thus producing their true effect, which is, to abase and elevate the soul both together, to raise it to God, and abase it to itself. In whatever good was done by him he assumed no share at all, but referred all to God the true source. And so in the management of all those talents, he had always his hands clean, without touching what appertaineth to God. Nor would he therefore that any one should consider him in what he said or did, but regard God alone therein. And to one who much desired a visit from him, he wrote thus, “I cannot bear the account you make of my visits and society. Let us look much upon God; let us bind ourselves strictly to Jesus Christ, that we may learn of him fully to renounce ourselves. O, my God, when will it be that we shall eye ourselves no more, when we shall speak no more of ourselves, and when all vanity shall be destroyed!”

9. He likewise esteemed himself most unworthy of any of the grace or favours of God. Of which he says to a friend, “The gifts of God are sometimes so great, that they put us beyond ourselves. As among men if a poor man receives a gift from a prince, according to the grandeur of his own power, he is utterly overwhelmed, and can find no words to express his acknowledgment: So God gives blessings that go beyond our expectations or capacities, and which make us see how unworthy we are, without daring to lift up our eyes; so doth their brightness dazzle, and their greatness astonish us.”

10. The same opinion which he had of himself he was willing, yea desirous that others likewise should have of him. “If I were to wish any thing, said he, it should be, to be much humbled, and to be treated as an off-scouring by men.” And hence he received contempt, when it came, not with patience only, but with joy: of which he gave an evident proof in his first journey to Dijon, whence he thus wrote to his director;

“The reports here spread concerning me are, that I have nothing but artifice and shews of devotion; and that I kept private, out of fear by coming abroad of discovering what I was. Most, I find, even of those from whom I expected quite the contrary, have sollicited against me. And hereby God hath shewn me many favours. I have been with them, and received humiliation with great joy. I have been very wary of opening myself in any thing that might recommend me to them. I have only done in my business what truth required; and for any thing else, I have made it matter of confusion, as I ought. I shall be here, I believe as one excommunicate, as the scape-goat of the old law, driven out into the wilderness for my enormous sins. I desire only to love God, and condemn myself.”

11. Nor was it only in his words but in his actions also, that the humility of his heart appeared. Since his entire dedication of himself to God, he would not suffer a cushion to be carried to church for him; but to be there hid and disregarded, he often mingled himself among mechanics and mean persons. He kept himself always as much as he could at the lower end of the church; and frequently, if the door was shut, said his prayers on the outside of it, that he “might not, as he said, put any to the trouble of opening it to a poor sinner.”

*12. During the war at Paris, he went himself to buy bread for the poor, and carried through the streets as much as his strength would permit. At the same time offering to take into his care the church plate of a monastery, he pressed them to let him carry it to his lodging, (which was two miles thence) and on foot as he was, a very large and weighty piece. And being desired that when he did them the favour to visit them again, he would come in his coach, by reason of the distance; he answered, “he did not love to make use of a coach, he must endeavour to make himself in every thing very little.” He went therefore thither on foot, and returned at five or six, in the shortest days, sometimes in thawing weather. And being told of the pains he took, he replied, “Our Lord took pains in a far other manner.”

13. When he was assisting with his own hand in the repairing of one of his houses, he thus expressed himself:

“Blessed for ever be our great God, by Jesus Christ! I believe I ought to labour in the lowest employments; and the time I spend therein, I count very dear, regarding it as ordered by God. What makes me the more to know it is his order, is this; that from time to time I feel more of retribution from him in one instant, than the patience and humiliation of a sinner could merit in all his life. He so opens himself to me, that I am quite mollified, and melted into tears. My eyes are so full of them, that often I have much ado to keep them in, pierced as I am with love, with reverence, and with acknowledgment of his goodness manifested by his enlightning presence, and of his inexplicable conduct. I see, we are not, by a spirit of pride, under pretence of the glory of God, to dispense with ourselves from labouring in things mean and painful. It was a work very gross and mean for Jesus Christ to converse with men, who had more of rudeness than these stones I deal with. O that I may obtain a part in his obedience, and submission to the orders of God his Father.”

14. Being one day to go to a person of great quality, in a business that much concerned the glory of God, he would not use his coach, tho’ he was to traverse in a manner all Paris, and it poured down rain. One moved, that at least his footman might carry a cloak, which he might take when he came thither. But he yielded not. Only he consented to throw the cloak over him: and in the nobleman’s house he laid aside the wet cloak, and appeared in the other ordinary one of his own.

15. Behold another effect of his humility, of which he writ to his director, December 26, 1646.

“The other day my Lord Chancellor’s lady sent me a packet of letters, in which were some from the king, wherein I was made counsellor of state. I sent her word, that I received what had the mark of the king with all respect. But I most humbly begged she would be pleased to take it in good part, if I did not accept those letters, but desired that the business might sleep without noise. My disposition towards affairs of this nature is, to have nothing at all to do with them. If they come upon me perforce, without my seeking, our Lord will give me strength to bear them.”

16. To the same person on another occasion, he wrote as follows:

“Walking one day through the streets of Paris, in a mean dress, I deeply reflected on that of the apostle, We are become as the filth and off-scowering of the world. I considered how much neatness and new things, even in the most trifling instances, do hurt (if one take not good heed) the simplicity and lowliness of a Christian spirit. And I saw it was a great temptation for any, to think to preserve his outward grandeur, in hopes thereby to have more weight and authority for the service of God. This is a pretence, indeed, that the infirmity of most Christians makes use of in the beginning: but experience draws them at last to Jesus Christ, who was made the lowest of men.”

17. A further proof of his humility, was his carriage to the director. He did nothing that concerned himself, without his conduct: to him he proposed whatever he designed, either by speaking or writing, clearly and punctually, desiring “his advice, his pleasure, and blessing upon it;” and that with the utmost respect and submission: and without reply or disputing, he simply and exactly followed his order. His director having written to him, he answered in these terms; “I beseech you to believe, that although I am most imperfect and a great sinner, yet if you do me the favour to send me a word of what you know to be necessary for me, I hope with God’s help to profit thereby. I pant not after any thing but to find God and Jesus Christ, in simplicity and truth. I pretend to nothing in this world but this; and beside this I desire nothing.”

18. The last effect of his humility we shall mention, was his extreme contempt of the world. He despised all which it could give or promise; all its goods, pleasures, honours, dignities; counted all its allurements as dung and dross, trampled under foot all its glories. He beheld for this end our Lord for his pattern, who, from his very first entrance into it, made an open profession of an absolute contempt of it, “Because he was not of the world.”

*19. To animate a lady with the same spirit, he wrote to her thus: “I wonder how a thing so little as man, drawn out of nothing in his original, infected with his first parent’s sin, and the addition of his own: when he is raised to so high a degree of honour, as to be one with Christ the Son of God; can continue to esteem the world, or make any account of its vanities! Shall the things of the earth waste the little time we have to secure the treasures of heaven; things that will all pass away like a dream: as we see our fathers are gone already, and there is no more remembrance of them: their joys and griefs, their pleasures and pains, are they not all vanished away? And are we not sure they were out of their senses, if they considered any thing but God in their ways? The same will befall us: Every thing else will pass away, and God alone will abide.”

*The same lady, in another letter, he encourages thus: “Courage, all is well! We must die to the world, and search out the hindrances it brings to our perfection. We must live in the world as not living there; possess it, as not possessing it. Let us drive out of our minds the affection to our fine houses; let us ruin the delights of our gardens; let us burn our groves; let us banish these vain images which we have of our children; approving in them what we condemn in ourselves, the show and glitter of the world.”

*I know there is a difference of conditions; but all ought to reject those intailments on noble blood, (as men account them) those principles of aspiring to the highest, and of bearing nothing. Let us take from them this vanity of mind, this stateliness of behaviour. Let us arm them against the pernicious examples of those grandees in story, whose punishments are as eminent in hell, as their presumption was upon earth.

*“My design is not, that you should demolish your walk, or let your gardens run into a wilderness. The ruins I speak of must be made in our own minds, not executed on things insensible. When I say, we must set all on fire, my thoughts were, to follow that admirable spirit of the apostle, who would that we have poverty amidst our riches, and divestment in the midst of our possessions: he means, that our spirit be thoroughly purified and separated from all creatures; because a Christian does himself great wrong, if he entertains in his heart any other inclinations than those of Jesus Christ, who saw all the world without destroying it, but withal without cleaving to it.”

20. It is to bring us to this spirit, that God permits us to meet so many pains and troubles in the world; as when a man sets thorns in a way, to make men take another. “God has his ends, says M. De Renty, in all these contrarieties, viz. that those who are his, should be yet more his, and despise more and more all that is in the world. By these the confusion and vanity of the world are made known to them that are not of it; who being in the spirit of death, wait for nothing more there but death; bringing forth, in the mean while, the fruits of life eternal.”

CHAPTER III.

His self-denial and mortification.

1.  AS it is absolutely necessary for every soldier of Christ, who would not so fight as one that beateth the air, to keep the body under, and bring it into subjection; M. de Renty vigorously applied himself to this work. He made but one meal a day for several years; till he was injoined to take more nourishment, to be the better able to undergo the great labours he undertook for his neighbour. He nevertheless eat but little, and always of the worst. A person who observed him at dinner one day, took notice, all he eat was some pears only, and that with so great seriousness and recollection, that it was easy to discern his mind was on God, and not upon his meat.

*2. When one of his friends entertained him one day at Caen, he was much grieved (as he afterwards declared) that Christians should be feasters; adding, It was a torment to be where there was so much superfluity. Hereon his friends took no more thought about his diet, knowing his best entertainment was the meanest fare, and that they could not oblige him more, than by leaving him to his liberty. And often at Paris, when he was so far from home, that he could not return to dinner, he would step into a baker’s shop, and after a piece of bread and a draught of water, chearfully go on with his business.

3. Nor did he deny himself only with regard to his taste, but to all his other senses also. When he went into the country, and came in the evening to his inn, after having dismissed his servants, he either passed the night in a chair, or lay down in his cloaths and boots, which was his custom till death. And when at Amiens, a lady, in honour of his virtue and quality, had prepared him a rich bed in a stately chamber, he made no use of it, but laid him down upon a bench, and there slept till morning.

4. Being come to ♦Pontois in winter, and lodging at the Carmelite Nuns, he told them not to make a fire, or prepare a bed. He then went to visit the prisoners (which he never forgot) and at his return, about nine in the evening, finding them going to prayers, without taking any thing to eat, he went into the church with them, where he continued till eleven. And indeed at every time and every place, on every occasion, even in the slightest and meanest things, he kept a watchful eye over himself, that he might in no instance fulfil the desires of the flesh, but daily inure himself to endure hardship.

♦ “Pointois” replaced with “Pontois”

*5. A short description of his mortification, or deadness to the world, we have in his own words. “Since the time I gave up my liberty to God, I was given to understand, to what a state the soul is brought, which is capable of union with him. I saw my soul reduced into a small point, contracted and shrunk up to nothing. At the same time I beheld myself as encompassed with whatsoever the world loves, and as it were, a hand removing all this far from me, and plunging it into the ocean. First, I saw removed all outward things, kingdoms, great offices, stately buildings, rich and elegant furniture, gold and silver, recreations, pleasures: all which hinder the soul in her way to God, of which therefore it is his pleasure she be divested, that she may arrive at that death which will bring her into the possession of real life. Secondly, all inward things, which are of a more delicate and precious nature, as learning, reason, strength of memory and understanding; to which likewise we are in a manner dead, if we are alive to God. And I perceived that we must come like little infants, simple and innocent, separated not only from evil, but even from our ordinary manner of doing what is good. We are to undertake what things the divine providence presents to us, by making our way by God to them, rather than by them to God. A truly mortified soul sees nothing but God: not so much (if I may so speak) as the things she does, of which nothing stays in her, neither choice, nor joy, nor sorrow, for their greatness, or for their littleness, for good or bad success; but only the good pleasure and order of God, which ruleth in all things, and which in all things contents the soul that adheres to him, and not to the vicissitude of affairs, and is therefore constantly even, always the same in the midst of all changes.”

6. As to the particulars of M. de Renty’s mortification, in the first place, he was dead to riches. “I acknowledge before God (says he in a letter to his director) his great mercy to me thro’ his Son, in freeing me from the things of this world, and my constant thoughts are, that if his order did not oblige me to do otherwise, I would quit all that I have.” And to another, “All that can be imagined in this world is of small concern, though it were the losing of all our goods. This poor ant-hill is not worth a serious thought. Had we but a little faith and a little love, how happy should we esteem ourselves in giving away all, to attend on God only.”

*7. Thus entirely, even in the possession of riches, was his heart engaged from them. And when the better part of his estate was in danger of being lost, he said, without the least emotion, “Since God hath committed this estate to me, I will do what shall behove me to preserve it, and then ’tis all one to me what follows.” Yea, he often expressed a kind of holy envy toward the poor, and a high esteem of their condition, both as most advantageous for Christian perfection, and because Christ himself had lived and died therein. “I avow to you, (says he to a friend) the more of riches come to me, the more do I discover of the malignity affixed to them. My heart is strongly inclined to follow him who was the most poor and depressed among all his followers. But that I know I may not put myself into that estate, I should pant after it very much. What I infer from hence is this, that not knowing the counsels of God, I cannot tell how he will dispose of me for the future: but I offer myself up to whatsoever shall please him, knowing that with him I can do all things.”

8. This inward temper appeared in a thousand outward effects. He parted with several books, because richly bound: used no gloves in season; wore no cloaths, but plain and close made; carried no silver about him, but for works of charity. I have seen him at first in his coach, with a page and footman; afterward, in his coach with a footman, without a page; then with his footman only, without his coach; and in fine, without either.

9. And as he was dead to riches, and to all the things of the world, so he was, secondly, to the persons in it: having no affection for any, but what was grounded upon, and subordinate to the love of God. This was particularly observable, with regard to those who were engaged to him by one of the tenderest ties, who depended upon him, and used his counsel for the conduct of their souls. *To one of these he wrote, “I cannot hear without trouble the great matter you make of my conversation: let us breathe after God, and learn from Jesus Christ an entire renunciation of our own affections.” And in another letter thus: “Jesus Christ is ever the same, and his grace is continually advancing; and as long as I am his, I shall be yours for his sake. He is not wont to part souls by the separation of bodies: since his custom is, only to take away what might be a hindrance to the perfect life of the spirit.”

*10. To a friend who had lost his director he wrote thus: “His remove would doubtless be a great loss to you and all the country, if the providence of God did not rather sanctify and establish, than destroy; but by removing these visible supports, he often settles us more firmly in our adherence to him through Christ, where we find all power, and who is so near that he is even in the midst of us; and when our dependence upon creatures is cut off by his providence, we experimentally find, that we are not left destitute, but that supply is made either by the spirit which dwelleth in us, or by his ministers that remain; who the fewer they are, the more is the grace we receive by them multiplied. Nor should we be further engaged to those who assist us in our spiritual conduct, than as to God’s instruments, whose help it is his will we should make use of, but no longer than he pleaseth; and when it is his will to take them from us by death, or otherwise, we ought not to lose our courage, but with submission and gratitude resign all to him, who will again provide for us as seemeth him best.”

11. He was, Thirdly, dead to all desire of every kind. Being one day asked, “How he could be so quiet in such circumstances,” he answered, “That through God’s mercy, he was indifferent to all things, and that he no longer felt either fear or desire of any thing.” And writing to his director, he says, “For the future I could wish, if there be any thing left for me to wish, that I had nothing left me but my God: This is the rich treasure of the heart, the sure replenishment of the soul.”

12. He had no eager desire even of sensible consolations; touching which, he expressed himself thus, “Dryness, and other troubles of spirit, are to be borne with upon any terms, and we must give up ourselves as forlorn creatures, throwing ourselves wholly upon God.” And again, “however dry your soul may be, when you endeavour to place it in a state of reverence and affiance in the presence of God, persevere still as much as you can, and keep yourself shut up in the cabinet of your heart; suffer not the noise of all those tempests without; be still, and mind them not. They have all their use; they serve to purge the soul, and dispose it for the operation of God upon it. Let then distractions, and all sorts of imaginations assault you, as it pleaseth God, but let them not hinder you from that holy exercise; diverting (as you are able) your mind from them, continue your sacrifice, with full assurance you shall not wait long, before your Lord come.” And when he found himself for a time, in such a condition, he would cry out aloud, “I am thine, O God, in spite of all these things, and so I will continue without reserve for ever.” And sometimes he would write with his finger upon the ground, “I am content with every thing that proceeds from the will of God: I ask nothing else but what he appoints for me; I will never trouble myself to be freed from dryness; my resolution is, to bless God at all times.”

*13. Lastly, He was dead to his own will, which he had perfectly resigned, in conformity to the will of God. “Far be it from me, saith he in one of his letters, to act in this by my own spirit; I would have it wholly annihilated, that it might know no other language but nothing, and continually nothing; to follow in all the footsteps of the divine will, according to its measure and manner.” In another thus: “My Saviour hath graciously brought me to such a state of indifferency for every thing that I could be well contented, all my life, to be fix’d to my bed, a paralytic, not able to stir, without making any reflection on any service I might render to my neighbour, or that I could render him no more: all things according to the will of God, being equal to me.” And in a third: “Of late I have been busied in such employments as were sufficient to have overwhelmed so weak a spirit as mine, had it not been absolutely resigned to the will of God. It is on him alone I rest, having renounced myself. I adore the decrees of his sacred will, who holdeth all things in his own hands, to keep us subject unto him by his justice, and to sanctify us by his love: happy, if we have the hearts of children, the spirit of Christ Jesus, to sigh after him, and cry continually, Abba Father.”

CHAPTER IV.

His patience.

1.  QUESTIONLESS the humble man is patient, because he knows he deserves far more than he suffers: And whoever will search into the true cause of his own impatience, will find it to be no other than pride. On the contrary, M. de Renty being most humble, was by consequence most patient.

2. Persons who had lived a very long time with him, and carefully studied all his actions, never heard him complain for any thing whatever; neither for sickness, or loss, or any other occasion; but they always observed in him a constancy immovable, continually lifting up his heart to God, and offering all to him, without otherwise dwelling on what was grievous; being glad that the work of God went on, and receiving all in the spirit of sacrifice.

3. In his second journey to Dijon, with his lady and the Countess of Chatres, he was seized with a violent rheumatism, which put him into pain all over his body: and when he was obliged to take his bed, he went thither quite stooping, supported by a staff, and by a person that led him. *But notwithstanding the extremity of the pain, he made no complaint, nor uttered one word. The ladies seeing him first quite pale and wan, and in a moment all on fire, told him, “Surely he was very ill;” He answered only by a discourse on the pain endured by Jesus Christ, and the favour it was for a soul to suffer for God’s will; but in terms so full of sweetness, and with so much of love and zeal, that the company were affected with great devotion in hearing him.”

*4. When he was again asked, whether he was not in much pain, he at length answered plainly, “My pains are great even to swooning; but though I feel their extremity, yet through the grace of God, I yield not up myself to them, but to him.” He said farther, that being led into his chapel of Citry, and set down upon a bench by reason of his illness, the bench broke without any visible cause, and that he believed the evil spirit had broken it, in order to provoke him to impatience, making him fall untowardly; “But by the mercy of God, said he, though the pain that surprised me was sharp, I was no more moved than you see me now.”

5. Nor was it only in sickness, but in all occurrences of life, he carefully practised this virtue; so that whatsoever befel him, though it shocked his whole nature, his body, spirit, judgment, will, inclination, desires, designs, and those of the best sort, he possessed his soul in patience and tranquillity, receiving all without any alteration, without being either exalted or dejected by it.

*6. “Praying to God, says he in one of his prayers, before the holy sacrament, a poor man came to me to beg an alms. In this instant it was given me to understand, that if we were well enlightened, we should never imagine ourselves to be hindred, by any person or thing: because we should in all things regard the order of God, conducting all to our advantage; we should see that both inward and outward distractions are to be received with this same spirit; and that the uneasiness these little accidents give us, springs purely from our want of mortification.

“We ought indeed, as far as we can, to shun the occasions. But when they come, we must look upon them as ordered by God, and receive and bear them with all sweetness, humility and reverence: and, though they interrupt us, the order of God is not interrupted in us. And this indeed is the great secret of the spiritual life; this is paradise upon earth.

“In truth, nothing troubles us but thro’ our own fault: all the vexation which we inwardly feel, or outwardly shew, when any one crosses or hinders us from doing any thing, flows from the disorder of our too much engaged spirit. For removing of which, and the keeping our hearts in peace we must mark this well: whoever hinders us from doing one good work, thereby gives us the means of practising another. *A man suppose, interrupts your reading and prayer. But he gives you an occasion of exercising patience, which at this time will please God, and perfect you, more than all those employments. In them there was something of your own will; but in this you wholly renounce yourself. And the fulness of God is not, but in the emptiness of the creature.”

7. One great source of M. de Renty’s patience, was the high esteem he had of sufferings, which sometimes made him ready to cry out with that holy woman, “Either to die or suffer”! “I see says he, that in a manner, every thing is unprofitable in this life but to suffer. Every pleasure is a too hasty seizure of that recompence, which is not due to criminals, who sojourn in this world only to be purged. Some pleasures indeed may be sometimes necessary, in regard of our weakness, but even they are apt to hinder the soul from attaining so high a degree of perfection.”

8. “Though I dare not chuse or bring sufferings upon myself, (says he in a letter to his director) yet having always before my eyes how little I render to God for his favours, I am inflamed to suffer with our Lord. In every other thing we are receivers from God. But in this though we receive the grace to suffer, yet the suffering is that which we can in a manner give to God, and which is the best gage and proof of our love.” But he very wisely adds, “although I know this, yet I cease not to know what I am: and amidst all my inclinations and desires, I dare not to beg to suffer the least thing: Or, if I happen to do so I revoke it afterwards, as having done foolishly. I have too much experience of my weakness. I give myself only to my God for every thing he pleases. By his order I will all: With him I can do all: and that which is ordered by him is always accompanied by grace.”

9. The same spirit he earnestly recommended to all who were studious of Christian perfection. To one of whom he said, “It is a great favour to suffer; that is if you suffer in the spirit of Jesus Christ. But there are very few that do so; very few that with a perfect resignment to what God ordains concerning them; very few without some inquietude, and dwelling in their thoughts upon their pressures: few that give all events to the conduct of God, to employ themselves entirely in his praise, and to give way by their acquiescence and submission, for him to exercise all his rights and power ever them.”

*10. One that was in great pain he encouraged thus: “Many are called Christians, but few have a Christian spirit. Many look up to heaven in their prayers, but in their lives they are children of nature, looking only upon the earth. If they do lift up their eyes to heaven, it is only to complain; to pray God to condescend to their desires, not to shew their acceptance of his. Or perhaps they will give some small things to God; but not those on which they have fixed their affection. If he separates them from them, it is a dismembring which he must make, and to which they cannot consent. As though the life of Christians were not a life of sacrifice, a continual imitation of a crucified Saviour.

*“God, who knows our wretchedness, takes from us for our good, the cause of our evil, a parent, a child, a husband, that he may by another evil, affliction, draw us to himself, and make us see that all these ties to whatsoever it be that separates us from him, are so many obstacles to our real happiness: and such obstacles that we shall one day own in the face of all the creation, the greatest mercy he ever did us was, to free us from them. But we must beware not to count this mercy a chance or misfortune; for this would be to turn the remedy into poison.

“Let us enter into the holy disposition which was in Christ, to suffer willingly for the glory of God, and our salvation. Is it not strange, that though the way he past through to glory, was ignominy, pain, and the cross, yet they who call themselves his followers, desire and expect another way for themselves to walk in? It is a shame for a ♦Christian to pass his days more at ease than Jesus Christ did. Let us therefore go after him, and suffer with him. Blessed be sickness, the loss of honour, riches, goods of the nearest things, and the separation from all creatures, which hold us bowed towards the earth, if it set us straight, and make us lift up our eyes to heaven, and enter into the designs of God over us. Blessed be the plague, the war the famine, all the scourges of God, which produce in us these effects of grace and salvation!

♦ “Chirstian” replaced with “Christian”

11. The greatest exercise of patience he ever had was that which was given to him by his mother. She had claimed a large share of what his father had bequeathed to him; who with great submission and respect gave her all that he believed her due, over and above. But she demanded still more. Being advised by council, it could not be given without wrong to his children; he ♦referred the whole business to arbitrators, and agreed that his mother should choose them all. The day being come for their giving sentence, his mother was in one chamber of the house, and her son, with his lady and a friend in an other, where his employment was, to pray to God for such an issue as might be for his glory, and the procurement of peace. When the award was brought, although it was not advantageous to him, and there was a large penalty on whomsoever did not stand to it, he heard it with perfect calmness, and immediately signed it without objection or dispute.

♦ “refered” replaced with “referred”

12. Believing now that his mother was fully satisfied, he was no sooner returned home, than he caused Te Deum to be sung, beginning it himself, in thanksgiving for this happy conclusion. But God, to refine and purify him the more, permitted the cross to continue upon him. For his mother, not satisfied yet, found means to appeal from the award, without incurring the penalty.

Her son did all that was possible for him to alter her design; after earnest prayer, and extraordinary fasting, he went to her, cast himself on his knees before her, and with the utmost reverence, humility and submission, begged of her over and over, with abundance of tears, “that she would please to take him and his family to herself; and after that she might dispose as she pleased of all the goods his father had left him.” But neither would she consent to this, but persisted in her resolution, of suing him at the parliament of Dijon. This he might have prevented, and never stirred out of Paris, but in respect to her, he declined it, and determined to go to Dijon.

13. Being come thither, he found all mens minds fully prejudiced against him, which he gladly endured, that he might be partaker of the reproach, and honour the abasement of the Son of God. And when a person of piety acquainted him with the strange reports which were spread abroad concerning him, he with admirable calmness raised his heart to God, and humbled himself before him. She asked, Whether it was true that injurious papers had been put in against his mother? He answered, “No; he had seen all the writings, and found them drawn with the respect due to a parent.” *She asked further, “If he was not much afflicted at her harsh manner of proceeding against him?” He said, “No; because I so much adore the order of God over me, that I cannot be afflicted at that which he permits to befal me. I am a great sinner, and therefore not only my mother, but all the word have just cause to take part against me.”

14. She adds in a memorial, that many ways were proposed for adjusting the difference; but that it was the greatest difficulty in the world to bring his mother to join in any: that in the midst of these delays, she said to M. de Renty, “Sir, I shall willingly say the Te Deum, when once your business is ended.” And that one day when they believed it would be wholly concluded, he came to her with a chearful countenance, and said, “It is now time to say the Te Deum, since you had the goodness to promise it. And may I be so bold as to desire to say it with you? O what a great and wise God have we! Who knows well, how to do all things, as they ought and when they ought, not according to our precipitation, but his order, which is our sanctification!” Hereupon he said the Te Deum, with a spirit so elevated to God, as gave sufficient evidence of his being wholly filled with him. And when afterwards all was broken off, without hopes of making up again, he said, *“It is well; though nothing be done, it was very fit to return thanks to God, for doing his own will, and not that of a sinner, unworthy to be heard or regarded.”

15. There passed many other things at Dijon, and since at Paris, during these differences, even to the death of his mother. But I doubt not, he who is now in the place of perfect charity, approves of my passing over in silence the failings of her, to whom all his life he bore so much love and respect.

CHAPTER V.

His faith.

1.  MR. de Renty studied with a particular care a solid foundation in this virtue, knowing how all other virtues depend upon it, as on their root, their rule and measure. And he possessed it in so high a degree, that he was more assured of the presence of God, and the truth of the mysteries of Christianity, than of the shining of the sun. He truly lived by faith: this was the path wherein he walked, working all by the spirit thereof. He beheld things not with his bodily eyes, but with those that pierced deeper. Considering them not according to their present condition, or the order of nature; but according to their future and eternal, their relation to grace and glory; regarding nothing but as it was, or might be a means of his own or others salvation.

2. Being fortified by this faith, he was wont to say, he felt no difficulty at all, when (in his younger years) he was in a state of dryness, wholly deprived of sensible comforts. To which purpose he writes in one of his letters thus; “We seldom meet with persons addicted to prayer, that behave themselves well under inward trials. They have no patience to wait for comfort. They fret themselves, and hurry this way and that, as if by their own means they could procure it, seeking for another support than that of faith, which alone should suffice any spiritual man. For the just should live by faith, and on that foundation rest, in expectation of our Saviour, with patience; knowing these joys are but supplements to the littleness, and cordials for the faintings of our faith.”

3. Animated by this spirit, he relied not on any thing that came to him in an extraordinary way; resting neither on visions, miracles, revelations, nor inward motions, but solely on a pure and naked faith, to carry him to God.

4. He knew our perfection consists in nothing else, but the renewal of our soul in faith, hope, and charity: in performing to God the sacrifices of a lively faith, a perfect hope, and fervent charity. To cultivate and adorn his soul with these, was therefore his constant care; to unite it more and more intimately with God, through faith working by love, and to give himself up with all his strength to this hidden and divine life.

5. Some years before his death, he was peculiarly employed in the contemplation of the blessed Trinity. Wherefore he gave this account to his spiritual guide; *“I carry about with me ordinarily an experimental verify, and a plenitude of the presence of the Holy Trinity.” And again, “I possess the sacred Trinity with a plenitude of truth and clearness; and this in so pure and vigorous a manner, that my outward employment creates me no diversion at all.” And another time he writ thus; “Jesus Christ worketh the experience of his kingdom in my heart, and I find him there my Lord and my Master, and myself wholly his. I discover now a greater enlargement of my heart, but such as I am not able to express; only thus, it is a simple but most real sight of the Trinity, continually accompanied with praising, blessing, and offering all homage thereto.”

CHAPTER VI.

His Hope.

1.  A STRONG faith cannot but produce a firm hope and charity. A true belief in God, what he is in himself, and what he is to us, will work a strong affiance in him, and ardent charity towards him; as appeared in M. de Renty, who being grounded in faith, had also an undaunted hope, and inflamed affections.

2. The experience of the power and mercy of God, and faith in the infinite merits of our Redeemer, were the two pillars on which he built his hope: and resting on these, he hoped all things. He used to say, that when he looked at himself, there was nothing so little wherein he apprehended not difficulty. But when he looked upon God, he could think nothing difficult, much less impossible.

3. Accordingly in all affairs, he relied not upon his own prudence, conduct, care, or any human strength or wisdom, but on God alone, saying, “When we have done our duty with great diffidence in ourselves, we ought to attend wholly on God, and wait his time.” And thus he writ to a friend, “As for my children, I leave them in the hands of the holy Jesus, without determining any thing concerning them, not knowing what would befall to-morrow. He giveth me great confidence in his protection, which renders me altogether blind, without wishing any thing, but being ready for his will in every thing.”

4. Guarded with his perfect confidence, he feared nothing, but remained firm and resolute against all encounters. He walked securely in all places, at all times, in the streets, in the fields, by day and by night; travelling through woods and forests, reputed dangerous, and frequented by robbers, without any other defence than his trust in God. A friend told him one day, he was afraid to walk in the evening in the streets of Paris without a sword, and desired his advice; who told him, he had left off wearing a sword a long time, and advised him, after he had commended the business to God by prayer, to trust in his protection; assuring himself, that his protection over us, is according to our reliance upon him.”

5. One day a scaffold on which he stood with his workmen fell down, and hurt several of them: but it moved not him; his spirit remained in the same evenness as if nothing had happened; being settled on him in whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

6. Those words were found in one of his letters to his director. “My soul being armed with confidence and love, fears neither the devil nor hell, nor all the stratagems of man. Neither think I at all on heaven or earth, but only how to fulfil the will of God in every thing.”

CHAPTER VII.

His love of God.

1.  THE sentiments M. De Renty had of the love of God, he thus exprest in a letter to his director; “In all I read in the scripture, I neither understand nor find any thing but this Love. The very end of the commandment is love, out of a sincere heart. And this is acquired by faith in Christ Jesus, as the apostle observes in the following words. Faith uniteth us to him, whereby we sacrifice our souls and bodies, thro’ his spirit; which conducteth us to the compleat end of the law, to deliver us up to God and bring him down to us in charity, and a gracious inexplicable union; to whom be praise for ever! Amen!”

2. Writing to another, he says, “I thank our Lord, who hath disposed you to a perfect self-denial. This is the way to love; and our love of God is shewn, not so much in receiving gifts and graces from him, as in forgetting ourselves, in renouncing all things, and suffering constantly and courageously for him.”

3. So inflamed was M. De Renty with this love, that all his thoughts, words and works, were the fruits of it. All his virtues drew their original from this: it was the beginning, and motive, and end of all. “I cannot conceal from you, said he to a friend, that I have a fire in my heart, which burns and consumes without ceasing.” And this divine fire was so ardent in his soul, that the flames thereof often burst forth into his exterior; and he hath owned, that whenever he pronounced the name of God, he tasted such a sweetness as could not be exprest.

4. One of his friends assures us, “he has often seen him so inflamed with love, that he appeared like one beside himself: and that he has told him, when these transports were upon him, he was ready to cast himself into the fire, to testify his love to God.” And one of his letters he concludes thus: “I must now hold my peace; yet when I cease to speak, the fire within that consumes me will not let me rest. Let us burn then, and burn wholly and in every part for God. Since we have no being but by him, why do we not live to him? I speak it aloud and it would be my crown of glory, to seal it with my blood.”

*5. To another he writes thus: “I know not what your intent was, in writing those words, ‘My God and my all!’ Only you incite me thereby to return the same to you and to all creatures, ‘My God and my all! My God and my all! My God and my all!’ Is your heart full of it, and think you it possible I should be silent on such an invitation! Be it known to you, that he is my God and my all; and if you doubt of it, I shall speak it a hundred times over. I shall add no more, for any thing else is superfluous to him that is truly penetrated with ‘My God and my all’.”

*6. This love of God wrought in him an incredible zeal for his honour, which he thus expresses to his director; “One day being transported with an earnest desire to be all devoted to God, and all consumed for him, I offered up to him all I could, yea, and all I could not. I would willingly, if they had been mine, have made a deed of gift to him of heaven and earth: and in another way, I would gladly have been the lowest of all mankind. Yea, and if supported by his grace, I could have been content, to advance his glory, to have suffered the pains of the damn’d. In this disposition of a calm zeal, there is no sort of martyrdom, no degree of greatness or littleness, honour or dishonour, that passed not through my soul, and that I would not readily have embraced for the advancement of his glory. It is impossible to express one circumstance of what I felt. All I could do was, to give up my liberty to God, writing the deed in paper and signing it with my blood.”

7. See here the zeal of a man all on fire with the love of God! And the surest proof of love, conformity to his will. This intimate union of his will with God’s, the object and end of all his actions, was indeed one of his singular graces, as it is the sum of all perfection. He writ thus to one concerning the Countess of Chatres, with whom he had the strictest friendship; “I must own, that during my absence from her, my heart was tenderly sensible of her pain. But my desire submits to the will of God, and when that is signified, he gives me grace to obey. I was not at Paris, but at Citry, when she departed; I was sent for post but came two hours too late. Entering the town, I soon heard the news of her death. Presently I fixt myself to the will of God; whereupon I found no more alteration in my soul, than if she had been alive. I see his order in this, that I assisted her not at her death, and doubt not but he permitted it for her advantage.”

8. Another time he writ thus: “I have these three weeks had a fever, with a defluxion, and an extreme weakness. My frame of mind during this condition, has been a simple adherence to the will of God. I have a heart willing and ready to receive any afflictions that can befall me. I desire whatever is decreed from above, and beg it with all my heart.”

9. In the year 1641, one of his children, whom he tenderly loved died. When the news was brought him, he spoke not one word, nor, shewed the least sign of disturbance: his affection to the child yielding to his absolute conformity with the will of God.

10. At the end of the year 1643, his lady fell desperately sick, so that she was given over by her physicians, and left speechless and without sense. This affected him in the most sensible manner; and he broke out into these words:

“I cannot deny but my nature is deeply affected with the sense of so great a loss. Yet my spirit is filled with so wonderful a joy, to see myself in such a state, as to give up, and sacrifice to my God, a thing so dear to me, that if decency did not forbid it, I would give some open testimony of my readiness thereto.” Hereby he evidenced the will of God to be so absolutely his, that he not only willed whatever God willed, but also willed it as God doth, with pleasure and satisfaction. But it pleased God to restore his lady to her health, with respect (as we may believe) to the carriage of his faithful servant.

11. From this perfect subordination to the will of God, sprung his admirable tranquillity. From this fountain flowed those rivers of peace which he possessed in so great perfection, that on the most sudden surprisals, his spirit was not altered, nor put into any disorder. So that he could say from the abundance of his heart, “I comprehend not that thing you call mortification. He who finds no resistance in his spirit to any thing, is not capable of it. Whoso willeth whatsoever God willeth, is pleased, whatsoever happens.”

12. With this Love of God was joined so deep a reverence of him, as often cast him into trembling. And this unspeakable respect unto God’s greatness caused him often to walk in the fields bare-headed, even in rain, or the heat of the sun: and being asked by a friend, what it was that kept him in that constant awe, and how he attained that wonderful reverence he bore to God at all times, in all places, in all employments, he answered, “The sight of his glorious majesty, which continually seems present by me, keeps me in exceeding awe, with a deep sense of his greatness and my own vileness. A mote in the sun is little, but I am far less in the ♦presence of God.”

♦ “prescence” replaced with “presence”

*13. And sure it is, that this deep sense of his own vileness, before the majesty of God, well becomes not only the greatest of sinners, but the holiest of men upon earth. He that from a valley beholds the sun when it rises, and appears on the point of a high mountain, may think him that stands above to be near it, and almost able to reach it with his hand. But the same man notwithstanding beholds it at a vast distance above his head. And though in reality, he is nearer than the other that stands in the valley, yet the proportion is so small as scarce deserves to be named, in respect to the total distance.

14. This reverence of God occasioned in him a great reverence likewise to whatsoever was devoted to him: as first to all holy places; at his entrance into a church, his demeanor was highly modest and serious. He never sat down there. He would remain in it as long as possibly he could; sometimes seven or eight hours together. If any person spoke to him in church, his answer was short; if a longer was required, he went out and gave it.

15. He had great respect, secondly, to holy persons, especially to priests, whom he highly honoured for their work sake. Whenever he met them, he saluted them with profound humility, and in his travels would alight off his horse to do it. When they visited him, he entertained them with great respect; at their going, waiting on them to the gate: And if any dined at his table, he gave them the upper hand, which civility he observed to his own chaplain.

16. And as he had this reverence for them, so had he an earnest desire, that they might live according to the dignity of their calling. When he saw any that did not, he profest his heart melted into sorrow for them, and that he prostrated himself before our Saviour, and begged with tears some apostolical spirits. He often said, “Give us, O Lord, our poor fishermen, men, simple in appearance, and vile in the eyes of men; but great and holy within, and fit to convert souls by their sanctity, prayers, and restless labours!” And herein I discover a great mistake ordinary in the world, that outward greatness and pomp is the way to keep up men’s credit, and make them more capable of doing good to their neighbours. O, no! It is grace that hath power upon the souls, and an holy and humble life that gaineth hearts!

CHAPTER VIII.

His Love of man.

SECTION I.

Of his love to man in general.

1.  THE grand exercise of M. de Renty, was to apply and unite himself to our Saviour, and from that union and example to derive all his virtues and good works. To mould himself after him was his general course, both in his inward tempers and outward behaviour. He never took his eye off of this divine copy, but endeavoured to draw every line exactly, to pencil his true likeness, and make him his native and perfect original.

2. This was the scope of all his designs and cares, and particularly that of his charity to his neighbour; for which he propounded our Saviour as his grand exemplar, weighing the affection he shewed for men; marking what he had done, and what he had suffered for them, how he sought after, and conversed with them; how he instructed, comforted, and encouraged them, sometimes reproving, sometimes bearing with their infirmities; at all times carrying them in his bosom, yea, in the most intimate inclosure of his heart.

3. He well weighed what Christ had delivered concerning this virtue: that he had established it as the perfection of his law; that he had termed this command peculiarly his own; that he had expressly and solemnly bequeathed it to his followers, and enforced the execution of it upon them by all the strongest and most endearing ties; that he had made this virtue the distinctive character of those who were in reality his disciples; and that he had charged us to love our neighbour, according to the model, measure, and fashion that he had loved us. And accordingly he determined, as far as he could, to love his neighbour with the bent and spirit of his master. “I sigh (said he) after my Saviour Jesus, desiring to imitate and follow him whither he pleaseth. I beseech you, by your prayers, obtain for me his spirit, to be my life, my whole life. Sigh and groan for me after my God, that I may be wholly for him, in his Son, that I may follow him, and not live but by his Spirit.”

4. Agreeably to this he endeavoured, in all the commerce he had with men, to unite himself most intimately to our Saviour, giving himself up as an instrument to be guided by his hand in the helping of others, beseeching him to breathe upon him his spirit of love, recommended so much in his word, but more in his actions, and to inflame him with this sacred fire which he hath kindled in his church, that he might be wholly consumed with it. He consulted him in all his doubts concerning it, begging him to inspire what, and how, and when, he should speak and act for the good of his neighbour; and that in him and by him it might all be done.

*5. He looked upon men not according to their natural qualities, their beauty, nobility, riches, or worldly distinctions, but according to their more noble relations, and those common to all, viz. As creatures divine, the lively images of God, formed to praise and love him to all eternity; as purpled in the blood of Jesus, brothers and co-heirs with him, his inheritance bought with the price of his life, and a thousand pangs, and who therefore must be infinitely dear unto him, and most tenderly beloved of him.

*In this capacity it was that he beheld men, and applied to their necessities. And hereby as he was highly useful to his neighbour, so he did not prejudice but greatly advantage himself. He looked upon God and Christ in every man. He considered, it was they that demanded succour of him. And while he was performing with all his might whatever was necessary for the soul and body of the least of his brethren believed verily it was God and Christ to whom he rendered that assistance. And the same thought should all make use of, who would benefit their neighbour, without prejudice to themselves, otherwise, a man shall sooner lose his own soul, than lead another to God.

7. The charity of this man of God, built on these foundations, was so enlarged, that it seemed to have no bounds; in that he loved not only all Christians, but all men, without excepting any. Thy commandment, says David, is exceeding broad; the same dimensions had his charity; embracing the present and absent, domestics and strangers, friends and enemies, good and bad; esteeming all according to their degree, speaking (as he could) well of all, doing good to all, and ill to none.

8. There was not any considerable good work of a public nature, done at Paris, or within a great distance of it, wherein he had not a great share. There was no undertaking there, tending to the honour of God or good of men, of which he was not either the author, or promoter, or finisher, and very often all these together. He was one at all the meetings of piety; and of many the very soul. He kept correspondence throughout the whole kingdom, concerning works of charity, receiving letters from all parts, desiring his advice in all difficulties that occurred, in the erecting or perfecting hospitals, seminaries of religion, and fraternities of virtuous persons, associating together for the better applying themselves to their own and others salvation, and the managing all sorts of good works.

9. From Caen one writes of him thus: “M. de Renty was our support and refuge in the execution of all our designs, relating to the service of God, the saving of souls, and the relief of the poor and distressed. To him we continually wrote, and from him we received counsel and succour on all occasions. Nor have we met with any since his death to whom we could have the like recourse in the things of God.” Another from Dijon writes thus: “We cannot but acknowledge the great benefit this province has received from M. de Renty. Wherever he came he hath wonderfully advanced all works of piety. We may truly say, that his days were filled with the fulness of God. Nor do we believe he lost one minute of time, in which he did not either speak or act something for his service.”

10. He applied himself to the necessities of the English, the Irish, the captives in Barbary, and of the missions into the Levant; took great pains for the support of the hospital at Marseilles; laboured much for the relief of galley-slaves, and contributed much to the advancing the affairs of New France in America. He had a design likewise to purge all trades and manufactures from the corruptions which had grown upon them, so that men might live upon them like Christians; which thing he begun and perfected in two of them.

11. The scripture he most studied, next the life of our blessed Saviour, to qualify himself for all good works, was St. Paul’s description of charity, in the 13th chapter of his first epistle to the Corinthians. And whosoever is exercised in the virtues there described, will not run in vain, nor labour in vain. *Indeed the more any one is animated with this spirit, the more shall he advance holiness in others. Yea, though his words be few and ordinary. For our words do not derive their force from the mouth that speaks, but from the disposition of the heart, and the power of the spirit that dwells there.

12. To qualify himself to be more extensively useful to his neighbour M. de Renty, to the natural abilities God had given him, and to the learning he had acquired in his youth, had by his industry added several smaller parts of knowledge: and that not only for his own use, but to teach them to others, whereby to help themselves. Yea, he abased himself to learn the meanest skill, which might be any way useful to his neighbour. One day in Paris he carried a friend with him to a poor man, who got his living by making wicker-baskets. He there finished a basket which he had begun some days before, with design as soon as he had learned it, to teach some poor people in the country to make them, to help to get their living. He then left the basket with the poor man, and a piece of money for teaching him.

13. Indeed he took upon him all shapes, transformed himself into all figures, condescended to all things for the good of his neighbour: all his thoughts, words and actions, being wholly cast in the mould of charity: *Which made him say one day, “Methinks my soul is all charity, and I am not able to express with what ardour and strange expansion my heart is renewed in the divine life of my Saviour, burning in love to all mankind.”

SECTION II.

His charity to the poor.

*1.  WITH regard to the poor, M. de Renty’s thoughts stayed not on their habit or outward appearance; but passing further, he beheld under these, with the eye of faith, Jesus Christ present and dwelling in them. And as he burned with an ardent affection to our Lord, so he loved them tenderly, succoured them with all his might, and left nothing unattempted for their sakes. And with these eyes, not those of nature, must every one behold the poor, that will love them indeed, and have bowels of compassion for them.

2. From the year 1641, he invited to dinner two poor men twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays. But increase of business obliged him five or six years after to reduce it to one day, commonly Thursday; when he invited three; and willing to join spiritual alms to corporal, he sought out such as seemed most to need instruction. To this end, while at Paris, after his morning devotions, he went to St. Anthony’s gate, and took such as were newly arrived, whom courteously saluting, he brought home (in winter to the fire) made them sit down, and with a cordial affection, which appeared in his whole behaviour, instructed them in the chief points of Christianity. While they sat at table, he served them himself, setting before them with his own hands the dishes brought in by his servants and children. After dinner, he waited on them himself to the gate, and dismissed them with an alms. This he continued to his death, and when he could not do it in person, his lady did the same to so many poor women.

3. Besides many other charities at his own house, he endeavoured the general relief of all the poor in Paris, and the parts adjacent; busied himself to understand their wants, studied ways of redress, and carefully pursued them. What he could not accomplish himself, he commended to others, spake for them, begged for them, bought necessaries for them; laboured to establish settled courses of living for men and children that were destitute, and when he could not at present provide for them abroad, maintained them at his own house till he could.

4. He was the first that motioned some relief for the poor English, driven by persecution out their own country. He engaged persons of quality in the purchasing of lands for their subsistence. When it was done, himself undertook the charge of distributing one part of this charity. This he performed, monthly, going to them a foot, and commonly alone entering their chamber, he saluted them with all tenderness and respect, and gave them their allowance wrapt up in a paper.

*5. In all his visits to the poor, after a general survey of their wants, he examined in particular as well their spiritual as bodily necessities; and endeavoured in the first place to mark their inclinations, their passions, their ill habits; what vices were predominant in them, and what were their chief infirmities: that like a prudent physician he might apply fit remedies, and teach them how to make the true use of their poverty.

6. As to their temporal necessities, he considered the capacity, industry, trade or employment of each: for tradesmen, he considered what tools or materials were necessary to set them to work. These he provided, either redeeming their own, or buying new. He then gave them provisions for two or three days, and provided them work not only for themselves, but also for their wives and children. Afterwards he bought some of their work, which he bestowed in alms upon others, and took orders for the quick sale of the rest, coming to them from time ♦to time to see if all went well, and encourage them to take pains.

♦ supplied missing word “to”

7. To these we may add, his charity to poor prisoners, whom he visited, comforted, and relieved, and when he found it expedient for them, (which he always first considered) used all means for their enlargement.

8. There was in Low-Normandy, one who had been a prisoner for several years, and tho’ innocent, was in great extremity. Many had endeavoured his release but without success, because of a powerful adversary. The thing being commended to M. de Renty, after a just information of the case, he committed the prosecution of it to his own advocate, made a report of it to the council, and went frequently in person to sollicit it.

9. But notwithstanding, perceiving the poor man’s cause to hang long, he changed his purpose, and writ to his adversary, offering, if the business might be referred to him, to take a journey into Normandy immediately. When he came to the town, he went directly to the prison, and after an exhortation to the prisoners, seconded by his alms, he told the poor man his design, and exhorted him to pray to God for a blessing on his endeavours, and to rest in hope that by some means or other he should shortly be delivered.

10. He then went to the other’s house; whence he returned to the prison for information on some difficulties that occurred. Finding all the prisoners together at their usual devotions, he waited till they had done. Having then received information, he went back to the other, with whom he came to such an agreement, that this poor man, after a world of misery, during nine years imprisonment, was at length set at liberty. He maintained him eight days at his own house, advising and exhorting him every evening: and at his departure persuaded him to go and see his (former) adversary; whom he now found as tractable and friendly, as before he had been severe.

SECTION III.

His charity to the sick.

1.  IF his charity to the poor was thus great, it was still greater to such poor as were sick. He was not content to assist these in one or two ways; but they found in him, and often in one visit, a benefactor, a physician, apothecary, surgeon, a pastor, friend and servant.

2. In the year 1641, he learned to let blood, and several parts of surgery. He acquainted himself likewise with the manner of making up most sorts of medicines; and he consulted with a physician, by whom he was instructed in the principal parts of the art of physic. Whenever he went abroad, he had with him a surgeon’s box, and powders for the cure of most ordinary diseases; which he used with great dexterity, and with equal prudence, never advancing beyond his knowledge.

3. In his visits to the sick, he never ♦shunned any service necessary for them, and in his power to perform; as making their beds, helping them to bed, making their fire, setting in order their little houshold-stuff; hoping thereby to win upon their affections, and draw them to God with more facility.

♦ “shuned” replaced with “shunned”

4. In every family he took an opportunity to enquire whether God was served there? And whether any quarrels or differences were among them, which he took care to make up without delay. And he never left any without providing for all their necessities, which he took notice of with incredible diligence, sweetness, and respect; dispensing with other business, that he might have time to hear all their complaints.

5. Neither did he only visit the sick, but they also sought him, and would find him out wheresoever he came, if they were able to go abroad. The sick, the weak, the lame, or otherwise infirm, flocked to him from all quarters: he might often be seen encompassed with them; some requesting his medicines, some his alms, some his counsel. He treated all, as a true disciple of his great master, with the like diffusive charity; and stood in the midst of them with the like goodness and patience, endeavouring to do good, and to minister comfort to all.

6. Nor did his charity decline the care of those diseases which nature cannot behold without horror and aversion. During his stay at Dijon, he was informed of one, who having been among a company of soldiers, was left by them in so noisome a condition, that none would come near her, and the person where she lodged was going to turn her out of doors. He went instantly to the house, perswaded them to keep her there, and hired a woman to attend her. Then he provided her proper physic and nourishment, which he brought her with his own hands: in the mean time, reading to her every day, instructing and comforting her. By this means he at length not only retrieved her from the jaws of death, but induced her to spend the rest of her life in a virtuous and Christian manner.

SECTION IV.

His zeal for the salvation of his neighbour.

1.  M. de Renty being continually inflamed with the love of God, incessantly sought always, and used all means to make him more known and loved by all men, both here and eternally. And this his zeal had no bounds; it extended not only to all France, but to all the world; insomuch that he said to an intimate friend, “I am ready to serve all men, not excepting one, and to lay down my life for any one.” He earnestly desired to enlighten with the knowledge of God, and inflame with his love, the whole world; of which Paris being as it were an epitome, he went through all the quarters and streets of that vast city, searching out what he could remove or bring in, for the glory of God, and salvation of souls. And the same spirit which moved him hereto, blest his endeavours to rectify what was amiss, and to strengthen what was right. *This he did in so many several ways, as a man would think it impossible: but what cannot a man do that is zealous, disinterested, and full of God?

2. He performed what possibly he could in his own person, not sparing any pains, nor losing one moment: and where his power fell short, he engaged others: and in all places he laboured, as much as in him lay, to induce such as desired to follow Christ, to join together, and assist one another in working out both their own and their neighbour’s salvation. Many such societies he established at Caen, at ♦Amiens, at Dijon, and in several parts of Burgundy; whose endeavours being animated by a true zeal for God, were blessed with unexpected success.

♦ “Amines” replaced with “Amiens”

3. To arm one who was thus engaged, against the difficulties he met with, he writ to him thus:

“I am very sensible of the present storms that you endure; though there is no reason why men should alarm you thus, seeing they have no cause of reproach from your design, nor have you done any thing against the gospel: yet I do not wonder at these crosses. ’Tis sufficient to know that you desire to follow Jesus Christ: therefore you must reckon contradiction to be your portion in these days of your flesh. Only be firm in your confidence in our Lord, suffering none of these storms to trouble you, or to obscure that light which hath moved you to, and guarded you in this business. God deliver you from the reasonings of flesh and blood, which at such times are apt to multiply upon us: be assured, that if you hearken not to them, God will manifest himself unto you; he will comfort and fortify you in faith, and in experience of the gift of his holy Spirit.”

4. To another he writ thus: “Blessed for ever be the Holy Jesus, for the good beginning of those you mention. If the other had a little more courage to break her fetters, it would be a great step: and surely there needs not so much deliberation to give up ourselves to him, although he be to the Jews a stumbling-block, and to the Greeks foolishness. Not that God hath any need of our good parts or excellent qualities, who commonly confounds the wisdom of the wise, by little things which he chuseth. Blessed be that littleness which is accounted weakness, and yet overthroweth all the power and prudence of the world.”

*5. We mentioned before his endeavour to reform trades from the abuses and corruptions which, in process of time, they had contracted, and to sanctify them, that some at least in each might live like the primitive Christians, in common; deducting from their flock only their necessary maintenance, and bestowing the rest on the poor. And, at length, he in part effected it; so that there are now two companies in Paris, one of taylors, the other of shoemakers, and of these in several quarters of the city, (and the like there are at Thoulouse) who live in community; rising, eating, working and praying together morning and evening: calling each other brothers, and living together in the strictest unity and concord.

6. Passing one day by the hospital of St. Gervase, and hearing it was devoted to the lodging of poor travellers, he desired leave of the superior to instruct them, in the evening when they ♦were met together. And this he did from that time, every night, coming thither on foot, and commonly alone, summer and winter. After instructing them, he joined with them in prayer, which he concluded with his alms. And this he continued many years, till some Churchmen, moved by his example, undertook that work, which they continue to this day.

♦ “where” replaced with “were”

*7. His tenderness of heart to these poor people was exceeding great, joined with such humility as cannot easily be expressed. When he met any one at the hospital, he saluted him with great respect, put him before him, and talked with him bare-headed. If any kneeled to him, he did the like to them, and continued on his knees till they rose first. One of them observing him diligently, and knowing him to be the Lord of the place where he himself lived, was deeply affected at the sight, and came and fell at his feet: M. de Renty did the like to him, and continued in that posture a long time, resolving not to rise before the poor man.

*8. Going one day to visit the holy place of Monmatre, after his prayers said in the church, he retired into a desolate part of the mountain, near a little spring. There he kneeled down to prayer, and that ended, dined on a piece of bread and a draught of water. After dinner he took out his testament, and read a chapter on his knees, bare-headed, with extraordinary reverence. Just then came a poor man, saying his prayers. M. de Renty rose up to salute him, and fell into a discourse with him concerning God, and that so powerfully, that the poor man striking his breast, fell down upon the ground to adore that great God. Immediately after, came a poor maid to draw water at the well, whom he asked, What she was? She answered, a servant, “But do you know, said he, you are a Christian, and to what end you was created?” Whence he took occasion so to instruct her, that confessing she had never before thought of the end of her creation, she promised from thenceforth deeply to consider, and seriously to pursue it.

9. In his first return from Dijon, he stopped three or four times in the way, to instruct the poor passengers; and once went out of the road, to shew some labourers in the field, how to sanctify the work they were about.

10. A young maid in Paris, having been very cruelly used by her uncle, fell into such a disorder, that in a fury she accused our Saviour as the cause of her misery, for abandoning her to such a man. In this horrible condition, she received the sacrament several times in a day; on purpose to do despight to our Saviour, and provoke him to finish her destruction. M. de Renty was no sooner informed of this, than he hasted to find her out; as he did, after eight days search, in the very act of communicating. He immediately conveyed her thence, and took so great care both of her soul and body, that she returned to herself, and gave ample testimonies of her repentance.

11. As the design of advancing the salvation of men, is attended with much doing and much suffering, it is necessary for him that undertakes it, to fortify himself with courage and patience; and both these were most eminently in M. de Renty, being, in the first place, full of courage, resolute, and laborious; employing his body as if he had two more in reserve when that was spent; dispatching more business in one half-hour, than others did in many days. Very bold he was in entering upon difficulties, and quick in extricating himself from them.

12. A lady who had left much to pious uses, made him her executor. Being informed, her friends, men of eminent power, were much displeased, he replied, “I never moved her to bestow any of her estate this way; but since her piety has prompted her to it, I shall not be dismayed with any power that shall oppose it: my care is to perform her will, and for other things I take no thought.”

13. Seeing one day some gentlemen fighting, he threw himself between their swords, laying hold on those who seemed most outrageous. At first they quarrelled with him; but in a short time were friends, both with him, and with one another.

*14. His zeal was accompanied, secondly, with unparalleled patience; a virtue highly requisite for him that would save the souls of men; seeing he must endeavour to win their hearts, at which he is to make his first entrance; not following his own will or inclinations, but theirs; becoming all things to all men; waiting long for their conversion, and attending (without being tired and discouraged, though by all his labour he should gain but little ground) the favourable moments wherein they may yield to his motives. He must, like this holy man, not only be willing to endure hunger, thirst, heat, cold, wet, weariness and other outward pains, inseparably attendant on employments of this nature; but also the importunities, complaints, passions, the repulses, the contempts and injuries that are continually to be expected in them.

15. While he was employed in instructing the poor travellers in the hospital of St. Gervase, a man who was settled there, looking upon it as an intrusion into his office, came to him, as he was in the midst of the poor, and with many injurious and reproachful words, forbad him to come any more. M. de Renty having heard him without any emotion, replied, “The poor people had much need of instruction; and since he would not be at the pains of it himself, he prayed him not to hinder one that would.” This did not satisfy him at all, but he came four days together to drive out M. de Renty, interrupting him as soon as he began; but he still received him with the same spirit, and at length overcame evil with good.

16. One day he visited a person who, from a groundless suspicion, had cruelly used his wife; who understanding his business, entertained him very coarsely, giving him much opprobrious language, lifting up his hand to strike him, and offering to thrust him out of doors. M. de Renty replied not one word, but after some time, drew near again, embraced him, and accosted him with such soft language, that he was perswaded, at length, to go to confession, which he had not done in twelve years before, and to be fully reconciled to his wife; insomuch that he lived and died a good Christian.

17. Another time, visiting a poor, old man that was sick, he began, as usual, to speak of spiritual things. But the old man, instead of listning, fell into a passion, telling him, he understood those things better than he. M. de Renty told him, he would be glad to be instructed; and after a great deal of patience, and attention, taking advantage from some things in that weak discourse, to convince and inform him better, he proceeded so happily, that the rest of his days he led a truly Christian life.

18. His patience in bearing with the faults and imperfections of others, as it was truly exemplary, so it never took away, or weakened his desire to correct them, for which he only waited a proper occasion. When he intended to reprove another, he commonly first accused himself, to prepare them by his example. Having such an intention, he began a discourse of that openness with which Christians ought to tell one another the truth; for want of which we grow grey in our vices, and often carry them with us to our graves; saying, “He should hold himself ♦extremely obliged to any who would shew him that kindness. His friend finding his heart exceedingly softened, besought him to deal freely and plainly with him, in telling him whatsoever he saw amiss in him; which thing then he did.”

♦ “extreamly” replaced with “extremely”

*19. But his patience did not in the least break in upon that fortitude, which is often requisite in the things of God, for the good of our neighbour, and for the worthy preserving of our just authority. He knew severity must be used sometimes, especially when we have to do with stubborn offenders; and accordingly advised a friend, concerning a third person, “Take heed of humbling yourself before that man; the abasing yourself in this case, would both prejudice him, and the cause of God. Reprove him severely and roundly.”

20. And not in these instances only, but in all others, his zeal was accompanied both with freedom and prudence. For though his humility has concealed many of his inward graces and outward actions, yet many likewise has his zeal brought to light, where he judged it necessary for the glory of God, or the good of his neighbour: concerning which he thus wrote to a virtuous lady:

“Give me leave to speak my thoughts of that liberty we ought to use, in communicating freely the gifts of God bestowed upon us, to such persons as may reap fruit from them; not stifling them in ourselves, whereby we obstruct a second fruit, which God expects from his graces. *We should consider ourselves set in the world as a chrystal, which, placed in the middle of the universe, would give free passage to all the light which it receives from above: so ought we to impart all the talents we receive, and this without disguise, or the least claim of propriety.

*“Farther: as the chrystal, if several torches were set under it, would transmit the beams of them all towards heaven: so whatever honours or commendations we receive from below, should freely pass through us up to God; for God hath therefore bestowed upon us such things as are praise-worthy, not that the praise thereof should rest upon us, but that it may pass through us to him, that he may ♦be blessed and praised in all things.”

♦ inserted skipped word “be”

21. Yet his zeal, though free, was not so indiscreet, as to be its own herald upon every appearance of doing good; but was very circumspect in weighing all circumstances. Accordingly, in the same letter, he gives this wise advice, touching the order and measure which are necessary to be observed in this communication.

“To some, we must lay open our hearts freely and exactly; to others more reservedly; to others we should be altogether locked up, concealing from them what we see no disposition in them to make a good use of.”

*22. Zeal indeed should be always attended with prudence, to consider things well, and execute them in the best manner; to prevent mischiefs, or redress them with as much of sweetness, and as little acrimony as possible: and in desperate cases, or where the cure would prove worse than the disease, to suffer and pass them over; some souls having defects, as it were, incorrigible, which God permits to perfect them by humility; and others likewise, that have an intercourse with them, by patience and charity.

*23. One great point of prudence requisite in a zealous man, is, neither to hurt his body by too much labour, nor his mind with too much business. As to the latter of these, M. de Renty took especial care, so to manage all his works of charity, that his piety might not be hindered but advanced thereby, indispensably performing all his exercises of devotion; and while he conversed most with his neighbour, reserving a considerable part, both of the day and night, for conversing with God. As to the other, he thus expressed himself to a clergyman, who had impaired his health by extreme labour:

“Give me leave, Sir, to tell you plainly, that you should not impose too much upon yourself, lest for want of moderation, you render yourself altogether unserviceable. The enemy usually takes no small advantage of such free and well-disposed natures; you are not your own, but a debtor to all men. Preserve yourself therefore, not by indulging your body, but by laying upon it no more than it is able to bear.”

24. Being at Citry, in the latter end of the year 1642, he had a strong impression upon his spirit, that at his return to Paris, he should find a new employment about the poor, and be much taken up therein. Accordingly, two days after his return thither, some persons came to advise with him, about a course of relieving all such poor in the city, as were ashamed to beg. He undertook to visit a fourth part of them, and to assist them according to their necessities. An employment sufficient to take up the whole time of one man, which yet he performed, notwithstanding the multitude of his other occupations; so that we must say, without a special assistance, he could not have done and suffered what he did; but God, who hath limited our strength of body, can increase it when and how he pleaseth.

25. Sometimes he received before-hand only a present impulse of something to be done, without any particular discovery. As when he was much pressed in spirit to go to Pontois, without understanding any reason for it; yet, believing it to be the call of God, he immediately undertook the journey; where unexpectedly he met with a nobleman of great quality, who was come from a province far distant, on purpose to be instructed by M. de Renty, how to serve God, which he had, till then, little known, and less practised.

26. But though this great servant of God had an excellent faculty of assisting all, yet was he more eminently assistant to some particular persons, for the healing their souls, and leading them on apace in the narrow way of perfection. I shall mention one only, the Countess of Chatres, who being deep in the affections of the world, as are most young ladies of her quality, it pleased God to inspire her with a desire to ask advice of M. de Renty; this he gave her with so happy success, that he himself was astonished at it. In less than a year, she was so perfectly disengaged from all those little conveniences and accommodations, which our ladies perswade themselves are absolutely necessary, that one offering her something of this kind, which she was formerly fond of, she answered, “I thank God, I have quitted this, and many more things, for the love of God, and yet find no want at all.”

27. God gave him light to discern her proper way, how to renounce herself, and advance in the paths of solid virtue, and to support her in great inward afflictions. And she, on her part, resigned up herself to his guidance, and forced herself to put his advice in execution: a thing very requisite in those who would make use of the conduct of others to good purpose.

*28. Though this happy intercourse, accompanied with such signal blessings, had contracted a strict and perfect friendship between them, yet he was very wary and reserved in his conversation with her; visiting her only when the work of God required it, and neither speaking nor staying with her any longer than was precisely necessary. This she thought a little harsh, and complained of it to a friend, whom she knew to have some power with him, saying, “M. de Renty extremely mortifies me with his civilities and reservedness. I have great need to see him often, and yet cannot obtain it. Nay, when we are together, he will not sit down, except when I am sick, or not able to stand any longer; and always with his hat in his hand. I beg you to tell him, what out of respect I dare not, what inquietude I suffer, to see his behaviour such toward me, who ought to be continually under his feet.”

The person acquainting him with this, he answered, “I proceed in this manner because my duty to God and to the Countess of Chatres require it. My Saviour obliges me to converse with her; but I must do no more than what is necessary, and so retire, for which this posture is most convenient. If we sat down, we should forget ourselves, and talk more than is necessary, and perhaps pass on to things unprofitable: therefore we ought both to stand upon our guard.”

29. Those who undertake the conduct of souls, ought seriously to consider this answer; and to be fully persuaded, that the business does not consist in speaking much to them, but in disposing them to speak to God, and in making them fit for God to speak to them.

30. In the year 1647, having visited one afflicted with great pains, he thus writ to his director:

“I have been with the person you know of, and have told her what I thought suitable to her condition. I acquainted her how we ought to lay this sure foundation, that we are nothing but weakness and misery itself; and that God from this insufficiency of ourselves to all good, means to extract humility and diffidence of ourselves, obliging us thereby to fly to his Son, to find strength in Him, and a remedy for all our miseries.

“As concerning myself, I have not much to say. Only I find within myself, by the mercy of God, a great tranquility in his presence, through the Spirit of Jesus Christ, and such an inward experience of eternal life, as I am not able to express. Yet I find myself, so naked and barren that I wonder at the condition I am in, and by which I discourse. In my converse with this person, I begun my speech, not knowing how to pursue it. After the second sentence I had not the least foresight of what should be the third; and so of the rest. Not but that I seem to have a perfect knowledge of the things I speak, in such a manner as I am capable of it. But I only utter what is given me, and in the same way as it is communicated, I communicate it to others.”

CHAPTER IX.

His outward behaviour, and conduct of business.

1.  M. de Renty being sensible, that even our outward behaviour is of great consequence in the service of our neighbour, being that which makes the first impression upon them, did whatever he could for the well composing his exterior, keeping his gestures, motions, looks, and all parts of his conversation in such a harmony, as he judged fitted to draw his neighbour to God.

*2. He was very modest, always calm and inviolably equal. “Among all the things I observed in M. de Renty, (says one of his intimate friends) what first affected me was, his rare modesty and great evenness of behaviour. There was something in his looks which carried so much reverence in it one might easily judge, he was always actually in the presence of God.”

3. In every condition or employment whatsoever, he was the same in his looks, gestures, words and actions, whether alone or in company, with rich or poor, strangers or friends, before his children or servants, yea even before his footman, in the country or town, at the table, and every where.

4. And such a constant equality was the more observable, because of his natural disposition, which was not slow, heavy and phlegmatick, but cholerick, hot and active. But the exact and perpetual care he had over himself, had wholly inverted his nature, and brought him to a behaviour, as well as temper, directly opposite to those he took from his mother’s womb.

5. Another of his friends writes of him thus: “That which pleased me most in him was, His great recollection and intimate union with God: attended with such a wonderful peace of mind, as shone forth in his countenance, and begot ♦a kind of devotion in his beholders. This union, methought, was ever the same, without any sign of distraction or levity, or any word not necessary, no complaisance or human regard ever forcing him to scatter his spirit. Not but he was full of civility; but still so as to look more within himself than without.”

♦ duplicate word “a” removed

6. And indeed this continual presence of God, so wholly took up his spirit, that no unusual accident or object, or any thing rare or extraordinary could divert him. I never saw him admire any thing in the world, nor fix his ♦eyes upon any curiosity whatever. And his gait in the streets was so recollected, modest and equal, without gazing on any thing, that a man might see Jesus Christ was his way, his employment, and his all.

♦ “eys” replaced with “eyes”

7. In his speech he was very resolved, by choice as well as by nature. In whatever company it concerned him to speak, he did so in his course, with a composed demeanor, and words few, but material. He was never known forward or eager to speak, or in speaking to do it with a higher tone than ordinary. If he gave an account of any business, he did it so briefly, and in words so pertinent, that it was a very hard matter to find one that spoke better, and yet less than he.

8. Things that were unprofitable, or the news of the times, were never the subject of his discourse: but always something pertaining to the kingdom of God. And when the conversation was diverted to worldly things, he either took leave of the company or stole away without.

9. And when he talked even of good things, it was with care and moderation: saying, “There was much need of sparingness and sobriety, when we speak even of the things of God, lest it turn to no good account: and that it was a great trouble to him, when among serious persons to hear them often spend precious time in talking of virtue at large, and to find them departing from such conferences, with dry, empty, and dissipated spirits.”

10. As to conduct of business, his method was, seriously to consider things, before any resolution, and if after his own sense was given, he found another’s to be better he readily quitted his own. After he had resolved, he was prompt, firm, and constant in the execution of it. But sometimes, when he had gone through the difficulties of a design, he left it to a friend to finish; not out of inconstancy, but to gain time for undertaking more, as well as to avoid the honour of it.

11. In all affairs that concerned the service of God, he had an immoveable constancy. And besides the force of his words, there appeared in his face an extraordinary assurance, (though his ordinary deportment was always sweet and quiet) which particularly appeared in all meetings, whereby he manifested such a spirit that those who beheld him, felt themselves struck with awful regard. His proposals generally carried so much light and force in them, that all were constrained to acquiesce in his determination. But if any disputed his reasons he knew how to enforce them; and if they chanced to make another reply, (which was a thing that exceeding rarely happened) he said not one word more, but his very silence, and the steadiness of his countenance, restrained any further dispute. The meeting ended, he would go to that person and ask his pardon; informing him, “That what he aimed at, was, not to make good his opinion but to advance the cause of God; in all other things he was ready to yield to every one.”

*12. But of all things he took care, not to overcharge himself with business, to the prejudice of his piety. He knew that outward employments, even the most holy, may be hindrances to inward holiness. Wherefore he was careful not to overburden himself with them, and very vigilant, that they should not distract and dissipate him, nor secularize his soul, but serve only as means to elevate and unite him more to God.

*13. And God so blessed him therein, that in the multitude of business, he was still in a continual recollection. A familiar friend asking him, Whether in that throng of employments, he observed his usual two hours of prayer; he answered, “When I can, I keep three hours, sometimes four or five; but when occasion offers to serve my neighbour, I easily quit them, for God of his mercy hath given me the grace, to be inseparably with him, even in the crowd of business.” To the same purpose he writ to his director; “I continue my devotion out of the time and place of prayer, even in the midst of converse and business: and I tell you sincerely, tho’ I perform every thing so ill, yet I find little difference of times for prayer, being recollected continually.” And the same might be gathered (as was observed before) from his modesty and composed countenance, clearly evidencing, that his soul was wholly and constantly in application to God, from whom he drew light and strength, for the conduct of all his business. Of which he thus wrote to his director; “My recollection hinders no business at all, but furthers it. Without it I should have a sollicitous desire of doing all myself: whereas I now act in a most calm way, in which I have no share; for it is our Lord that doth all.” In another letter thus; “Finding myself one day much burthened with variety of businesses, I had a desire to draw off my mind wholly; and at the same instant it was done. Since that time they create me no trouble, and I dispatch them more readily without thinking of them. This grace hath been often renewed in me, (although in several manners) which I acknowledge to be very great, because it preserves me disengaged, even in the multiplicity of business.”

*14. If after he had done his part, any design miscarried, he rested well satisfied. On such an occasion he thus writ to a friend; “We may take up good designs, and God often inspires them; yet when he is pleased to permit a contrary event, we must adore his secret will, which brings more of mercy in the crossing of them, than if they had succeeded. We should always be jealous over our spirit, that it fix not upon any thing.” And again, “Our Lord has his designs, which he effects by such means as we would not at all make choice of: The reason is, because he would break our wills, and abate our dependencies upon earth. Therefore he often crosses our best undertakings, being more jealous of the sacrifice of our hearts, than any thing else, how specious so ever.”

15. I cannot better conclude this chapter, than with a letter writ to his director on this subject:

“For these three or four months I have been, as it were, continually employed in outward works; as removing from place to place, new building a church, taking care of the sick, reconciling differences, conferring with all sorts of people. Yesterday hearing those words of the gospel read, ‘Thou art troubled about many things,’ it was said to my heart, ‘Thou art not troubled about many things,’ giving me to understand, that the things we are employed upon, according to the will of God, do not create us that trouble; and that Martha was not reproved for doing the work, but for doing it too sollicitously. Our Saviour intimating to her, that no business should be done with inordinate agitation of spirit. Since our great business is, to hear the eternal word, and act nothing with disturbance, but all in peace by his Spirit.”

*“I received hereby a great support in the performance of these petty exterior offices, and made no difficulty at all to yield myself up to this holily disordered divine order. At the same time I enjoyed such a sensible impression of God, yet excelling all sense, that if I had been thrown like a bowl, I could never have lost the sight of my God. Our Lord turns this bowl in a strange manner, even as it pleaseth him. And these several turnings are all for the soul’s advantage, whereby she is fashioned for every occasion, that she may do nothing for or by herself; but all for God, and according to him.

“I see likewise that one whom God employs in these low affairs, if he follow them with the same fidelity, is as acceptable to God, as one that is employed in the most noble functions. Will nothing please you but to convert worlds? You shall be content to carry stones; and sometimes to sit still and do nothing. You are then to offer the sacrifice of patience. And I believe it is a thousand times more rare, to find a soul thus faithful in patience, and content to do no more than God would have him, than faithful in actions that appear abroad.

“I have one word more to tell you; which is, that I am really ashamed and confounded, that I do no more for God: which indeed, with the sense of my unfitness for any thing that is good, would work me much torment, did I not consider, He is all-sufficient, and doth with us as he pleaseth.”

CHAPTER X.

Of his death.

1.  ON the 11th of April, 1649, he found himself very ill, and having concealed his sickness five days, was then constrained to take his bed. He endured great pains all over his body, with which his mind too was so much affected, that he profest, if God had not assisted him against the ravings of his imagination, he should have spoken more extravagancies than any madman. “There was much, he said, in such a condition to humble him. But it was the duty of a sinner to honour God, in all conditions wherein he should place him.”

2. During these great pains and torments, and during the whole course of his sickness, his ordinary employment consisted in affectionate elevations of his soul to God, in thoughts and words of blessing, praise, and submission to whatsoever was laid upon him, and of meekness and perfect obedience to all that attended, and had the care of him, with such a humble and contented spirit, that he thought all well done, though sometimes it was otherwise.

3. His patience never gave way to any complaint. And when his keeper, who was of the hospital of charity, with whom he had visited so many poor and sick, importuned him to declare his pain, *“O sister, said he, how does the love of God wipe away all pain? The servants of God suffer nothing.” Another friend asking, if his pain was not great? He answered, no. The other replied, “He thought it was.” “It is true, saith he, that I am much clogged with my disease; but I feel it not, because I do not think of it.”

4. Being urged to take some sweet things, he refused, saying, “These make little for life or for death.” Yet he refused not physic, but took it with a chearful countenance, though it was very bitter, and he had a great difficulty in swallowing. Indeed when one told him of another medicine which had done great cures, he answered, “Patience is a sovereign remedy,” intimating his unwillingness to try it. Yet when it was brought, he took it without any reluctance.

5. His sickness increasing more and more, yet he never called for any thing to refresh him: and when they had forced clean sheets upon his bed, and a pillow, which he had before refused, he said, “Lo! Here lies a gentleman at his ease.”

*6. Feeling some joy arise in him, upon the sight of a person of his acquaintance, with whom he had held a strict correspondence in spiritual things, who came out of the country on purpose to visit him: he immediately repeated thrice over, with great fervour, “I desire nothing more but God.”

7. Reflecting on the poor, the constant objects of his tenderest care, he said to his lady, “I recommend the poor to you. Will not you have a great care of them? You will perform it better than I. Fear nothing: what you give to them, will not lessen the rest.”

8. The greatest part of the first week of his illness, and some part of the second likewise, was spent by him in works of mercy, appointing of alms, and giving orders for letters to be writ into several provinces, about business of charity wherewith he stood charged, and whereof he gave an exact account.

9. Many persons of quality coming to visit him, he received them with much civility, but not without some concern, because most of those visits drew on discourse of worldly things. “They come hither, said he, to talk philosophy; of which I have no need.” And another time his expression was,

“A Christian should talk little.”

*10. A lady of great piety coming to visit him said, “Sir, I would with all my heart lay down my life to save yours.” He replied with a chearful look, and eyes lifted up to heaven, “To die is not to be lost. Our conversation and union will hereafter be more near and intimate.” She said, “But, Sir, if it pleased God to restore your health, and continue you longer with us; do not you desire it? St. Martin desired to live upon these terms.” He answered, “O Madam, there is no comparison between a saint and a sinner! The will of God be done.”

11. The third day of his sickness he desired his director might be sent for. And being asked, if he found himself worse? He answered, “No; but in a business of this consequence, it is not safe to delay, for fear of a surprizal, the judgment and memory being both so subject to decay.” The next day he made his confession, the day after he confessed again, and almost every day till his death.

12. The pastor of his parish having administered to him the Holy Communion, and observing his deep silence, not speaking one word; but only with profound humility, “My God, my God, pardon me; I am a great sinner!” He asked him the reason, why he spake so little, and did not apply himself to those who were well-pleased to hear him? “It is not fitting, said he, to speak in the presence of him whom I have received, nor take up any room in those hearts, which ought to be filled only with God.” He added, *“My spirit is now applied to that joy, which a creature ought to have, to see himself upon the point of being re-united to his first principle, and his last end.”

13. The same day after dinner, one told him, “It was fit to use some diversion from his serious thoughts; the physicians judging his disease to have much of melancholy in it.” To whom he replied, “I never had any joy comparable to that I have felt this day.” He asked him, for what cause? “To think, said he, that I am going to be united with my God.” He added earnestly, “I desire to be dissolved, and to be with Christ. The Spirit and the bride say, Come; and let him that heareth say, Come. And he that thirsteth, Let him come. Behold I come quickly. Amen; Come Lord Jesus!”

*14. About noon, he desired his window might be set open, that he might behold the brightness of the day: which being done, he cried out, “O bright day of eternity! How this sun-shine chears me! Helping me to meditate on that day, which shall never have night!”

*15. The more his sickness increased, the more he strove to unite himself to God by prayer, imitating his master, who in the strength of his agony, prayed the more earnestly. And when the violence of his disease so opprest him, that he had need of greater straining, to keep his mind fixed upon God, he cried out,

“Courage, courage! Eternity is at hand!”

16. Many such speeches he uttered with incredible fervor, tho’ he could not pronounce them distinctly, by reason of the extreme dryness of his throat, occasioned by the fever. At last, stopping his speech, he fixed his eyes stedfastly on heaven, for a quarter of an hour together, with a smiling look, and full of reverence, as if he saw some extraordinary sight. After which gathering all his strength, he sat up in his bed, took off his cap, and holding it in his hand, said, (with words half stifled in his throat, as well by the ardor of his spirit, as the weakness of his body)

“I adore you, I adore you.”

17. The curate having used the service of the church, to which he attended with great devotion, answering to every prayer, asked him, if he would not give a blessing to his children? He answered, “How so, good Sir, shall I presume to give a blessing in your presence? I should be happy to receive one from you.” But being urged thereto, and told the church allowed it, he lifted up his hands and eyes to heaven, saying,

“May it please God to bless you and to preserve you by his grace from the malignity of the world, that you may have no part therein! And above all, my children, may you live in the fear and love of God, and yield due obedience to your mother!”

18. On Saturday, about half an hour past ten in the forenoon, ♦being just recovered out of a violent convulsion, looking attentively on those that were present, he made signs with his hands, head, and eyes, with a pleasant countenance, for an intimate friend to come near him. Which being done, he said,

♦ “been” replaced with “being”

“Sir, I have one word to say to you before I die:” (then pausing a little to recover his strength, he testified his affection to him, but in words that could not distinctly be understood. At length raising his voice, and speaking more articulately, he went on) “The perfection of a Christian life, is to be united to God by faith. Let us not entangle ourselves in novelties. Let us adore his conduct over us, and continue faithful to him unto the end. Let us adhere to that one God, crucified for our salvation. Let us unite all our actions, and all that is in us to his merits; hoping that if we continue faithful to him by his grace, we shall be partakers of the glory of his Father. I hope we shall there see one another one day, which shall never have an end.”

19. Some time after, fixing his eyes upon heaven, he said, “The holy Jesus, where is he?” They brought him his picture, which he affectionately kissed. Then turning himself he presently entered his last agony; which held about a quarter of an hour, the greatest part of which he spent in pronouncing the name of Jesus; making as well as he could, acts of resignation, and commending his spirit to God: After which he expired sweetly, and his holy soul departed to its place of rest.

20. Thus lived and died M. de Renty, one of the most glorious lights God hath bestowed upon his church in our age. He died at Paris, in the 37th year of his age, the 24th of April 1649, about noon. We have great reason to admire the secret counsels of God, in taking out of the world, in the flower of his age, a man so qualified to advance the honour of God, and the good of his neighbour. But when we say, it was the hand of God, all things are therein concluded. Hereby he is pleased to let us know, that he hath no need of us for the advancing his glory; and that when he does use us as instruments therein, we ought to behave with all humility in his presence. He hath translated him to another place, where he glorifies his majesty with greater perfection; and where he waits for us to glorify and love, together with him, God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, to all eternity! Amen!

An  EXTRACT  from  the

LIFE and DEATH of

THOMAS WALSH.

THE INTRODUCTION.

T  HE exceeding riches of the grace of God our Saviour, and the effectual working of his mighty power, have in all ages shone most conspicuously in the holy lives and exemplary conversation of his eminent servants, the excellent of the earth, with whom are his peculiar delights.

And although, strictly speaking, He only is wise and good, nevertheless, there is a sense in which goodness is with propriety ascribed both to angels and to men. This consists in their resemblance of him who is the source and model of all goodness, holiness, and perfection; as proceeding from his fulness, whence life and blessedness flow to every creature, whether in heaven or in earth.

Of this kind the scriptures furnish us with several examples, Abraham, Enoch, Noah, Daniel and Job, (beside many others) are described in the Old Testament, as men walking before God, and perfect in their generation. And the eleventh chapter to the Hebrews contains little else than an account of ancient worthies, eminently remarkable for their faith, sufferings, patience, and glorious end; who considering themselves as strangers and pilgrims in this world, sought a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. And God, saith the apostle, hath provided some better things for us, that they without us should not be made perfect.

The time would fail to mention particularly the names of all the eminently faithful, who have lived and adorned their profession, since life and immortality have been brought to light by the gospel. They are an innumerable company. It is enough for us to know, that if any one loveth God, the same is known of him. Their names are written in the Lamb’s book of life, and shall at last be numbered amongst his jewels.

When names, and sects, and parties fall,

And thou, O Christ, art all in all!

Among the number of persons eminent for their usefulness and personal holiness, which the present generation has produced, he, a part of whose life is here related, may justly be considered as one; and his example is one, which in some respects may be said to have its peculiar excellencies.

A circumstantial detail of such things as often find a place in this kind of writings, namely, family, childhood, education, stature, complexion, and a variety of common occurrences, is judged, as well tedious as foreign to the design of the work, which is to represent, principally what passed between God and his soul in the progress of his conversation and daily walking with God.

And yet neither is intelligence of this sort wholly omitted; he has left a few particulars relative thereto, which will enable the reader to form some idea, as well of the former as latter part of his pilgrimage.

His prayer was, ‘That this little book (meaning what is here called the first part, great part of which he wrote himself) may be made a blessing to all who shall read it; that the Lord Jesus may make it a means of kindling holy desire in their souls, and of stirring them up to the fear and love of God.’

PART the FIRST.

CHAPTER I.

Of his birth and education.

T  HOMAS WALSH, was born in the year of our Lord 1730, at a place called Bally Linn, in the county, and within about ten miles of the city of Limerick in Ireland. His father, Edmund Walsh, was by occupation a carpenter, a man of tolerable education, and strong natural understanding. His mother’s name was Helena Nougham, born of reputable parents. They were both members of, and entirely biggotted to the church of Rome.

When about eight years old, he was put to school to learn English (his mother tongue was Irish.) Afterwards he went to school to one of his brothers (of whom he had several) by whom he was initiated into the Latin tongue. Having acquired its rudiments in some tolerable degree, he went afterwards into the neighbouring county of Clare, with a design to be put apprentice, his friends intending him to be of his father’s trade.

But God in his adorable providence and unsearchable wisdom, had, as the event shewed, other designs concerning him. Disappointed therefore in this he returned to school, and proceeded in his pursuit of learning; applying himself at present to the study of Latin, which he had but lately intermitted.

After he had made some considerable progress in this, he applied himself to the study of some parts of the mathematicks, for which he thought he had a better genius than for languages. He soon acquired the knowledge of arithmetic, both vulgar and decimal, measuring superficies and solids, &c. And afterwards went to the city of Limerick in order to perfect himself in writing.

And now having continued at school till about the nineteenth year of his age, and having acquired such branches of literature as fitted him for being useful to others in the same way: he quitted school, and set up one for himself, wanting neither scholars nor ability to instruct them, which he did with success, during the time he continued his school.

CHAPTER II.

Of his religion, and the struggle which he found between nature and grace, till the sixteenth year of his age.

H  IS parents (being as has been observed) members of, and strongly attached to the church of Rome, brought him up in the same principles and communion, and took care that his mind should be early furnished with the first and fundamental parts of what they judged his duty towards God.

“When (says he) I was young I learned the Lord’s prayer, and Ave Maria, in Irish, together with the hundred and thirtieth psalm in Latin; with the Popish augmentation thereto. And now I began to imbibe that uncharitable, anti-scriptural opinion, that all dissenters from the church of Rome were heretics, and in a state of damnation. But, since the Lord hath enlightened my understanding, I am fully convinced that therein I greatly erred, not knowing the scriptures, neither the power of God.

“I cannot but lament the case of those parents, who alas! not knowing what they do, endeavour to instill into the minds of their children such pernicious principles: and I do earnestly intreat all children, as soon as they come to years of discretion, to examine, and judge for themselves.”

It pleased our Lord to work in his heart very early. He made him bear the yoke in his youth, and by his terrors restrained him from excess, and the great offence. “Even while I was young and ignorant (says he) God was striving with me, and often terrified my heart: especially whenever I thought of the day of judgment, and of eternity!

“At those times especially, I frequently repeated the prayers I had learnt. But alas! to how little purpose? While I prayed neither with the spirit, nor with understanding. My heart was hard and stubborn, and my understanding was blind and foolish. I had no just conception either of God, or of religion. Nay, so great was my ignorance, that when I named our Saviour in Irish, I thought the name belonged to some woman in heaven.

“While I was thus foolish, and blind (even as a beast before thee!) my fallen nature began powerfully to discover itself. The seed of the serpent working in my heart, broke forth in words and in deeds. Now pride, anger, and self-will especially, reigned over me. But alas! I then little knew that those accursed tempers proceeded from that source of universal disorder, and all human miseries, original sin. I believed that this had brought temporal death into the world, and great disorder into the whole state of the visible creation: but of its subjecting the soul to spiritual, and exposing it to eternal death, I had no apprehension. I had, it is true, conviction whenever I did amiss; told a lie, or fell into any other outward sin. But the Spirit of God, and the holy scriptures alone, I now plainly see, could convince me that my tempers deserved the damnation of hell. And hitherto I was ignorant of both.

“When I was about eight years old, I began to love play, and divers other silly pleasures, spending the time I was out of school in catching of birds, playing at ball, and the like. My fondness for these occasioned my frequently breaking the sabbath, which I usually spent either in these vain amusements, or in reading some profane history, or other unprofitable book; and indeed no one so much as told me, that these kinds of employments were any violation of the Lord’s day: my parents, like the rest of their neighbours, esteeming them innocent diversions, harmless amusements.

“I did not then know that I ought not on this day to do mine own pleasure, to speak mine own words, or think my own thoughts; that I ought to spend it wholly in glorifying God, by praying to him, hearing his word, and reading and meditating therein; calling the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable.¹ O the curse of ignorance and evil example! How many souls do these lead into the broad way of destruction! How happy would it have been for my poor soul, if I had known and remembered my Creator in the days of my youth! Had I been brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; had I known the scriptures from my childhood!² How would it have contributed to prevent my wrong conceptions, and to regulate, at least, in some measure, my whole conduct.

¹ Isaiah lvii. 13.

² Ecclesiastes xii. 1. Ephesians vi. 4. 2 Timothy iii. 15.

“From the tenth to the fourteenth year of my age, my corruptions increased, took deeper root, and more visibly appeared in my whole conversation: and yet I was more regular and conscientious in discharging my duty towards God. (So I was taught to call a dull form of words, part of which only were addressed to God, and the greatest part to saints and angels.) My parents according to custom brought me at the usual times to the priest, who examined me concerning the Pater Noster, Ave Maria, and credo in Deum, with some other rites of the church of Rome. But alas! to how little purpose? It made me neither wiser, nor better. Some part, it is true, of what he taught me, was according to the word of God; but the greater part entirely repugnant thereto, and to all truth and righteousness. But I knew not then how to distinguish between the truths of God, and the traditions of men, having had no knowledge of the law and the testimony, the only infallible touchstone of doctrine and practice. He might therefore have imposed whatever he pleased upon me; and the rather, as I was taught to believe whatever he said, and to consider it as coming from the mouth of God. Indeed I could not help observing even then, that several of those reverend gentlemen frequently erred in practice: tho’ still I thought they were infallible as to doctrine.

“After this catechising, I became more inquisitive, and began to read books of devotion. These I found for the present had their use. Whenever I read of the passion of our Saviour; the love of God to sinners; the joys of heaven, or the miseries of the damned, my heart became deeply affected; and much desire towards God enkindled in my soul.” But alas! it soon died away again, becoming like the morning cloud. The inconstancy and corruption of his heart, easily prevailing over those divine, but transient impressions.

“From the fourteenth to the sixteenth year of my age, I had more of the form, though less of the power of godliness, than even before. I now attended the public worship (that is, went to mass) and every night repeated my prayers, which were indeed no better than vain repetitions. But still, pride, anger, self-will, and revenge more powerfully prevailed over me than ever: and I added to these my former prevailing abominations, lies and evil words. Indeed I had an entire aversion to cursing and swearing in the gross sense; but abounded in petty oaths and bad wishes. Of this sort there are legions in the Irish language;” perhaps more, and more wickedly expressive than in any other language. “Being at play, I remember one day, and provoked by one of my play-fellows, I swore (horror to think!) by the glorious name of Jehovah (to the best of my remembrance I never did so before, nor ever since). In that instant I felt I had grievously sinned against God, and deserved his wrath and heavy displeasure.”

“To the rest of my evils I joined disobedience to my parents. Indeed I dared not shew it outwardly, to my father especially, whom I so dreaded as often to tremble for fear of him. But my heart was hard and stubborn.” One instance of this he mentions which wrought him many a bitter reflection afterwards; for years he hardly ever thought of it without being deeply affected with shame and sorrow. Having one day thro’ his stubbornness greatly provoked his mother, and given her a wicked and impertinent answer, she said to him “You have grieved me.” “It went like an arrow through my heart. I knew the fifth commandment (the fourth indeed I then called it according to the custom of the church of Rome) strictly forbids disobedience to parents, and that to honour them, is the first commandment with promise. Justly therefore was I condemned. But, O God! How little is it to be wondered at, that I did not rightly love, neither was obedient to my earthly parents, while I knew neither love, nor obedience towards thee, my Father, who art in heaven? Well do I know now (and praised be thy love for this knowledge) that such as are froward towards thee, will, while they remain so, never be truly a comfort to their parents.” They may indeed, pay an outward compliance, and a seemingly dutiful subjection, as is often seen even among professed worldlings; but cordially and disinterestedly to love, honour and reverence our parents, can only be the effect of subjection in heart and life to the Father of spirits. So universally true is it, that “A foe to God, was ne’er true friend to man.”

CHAPTER III.

Giving a farther account of him; the corruptions he struggled against, and the means he made use of to subdue them, from the sixteenth to the eighteenth year of his age.

N  OW, both his sins and convictions daily encreased upon him. The desire of the flesh in particular raged in his nature, and it wanted not its frequent and prevalent incitements. Now likewise he began to assume the man, and kept more company than before, which not a little inflamed his besetting sin. Temptations from without were multiplied, and there wanted not opportunities and solicitations from the devil and nature to defile himself before the Lord. But still the preventing grace of God restrained him from sinning against him, in the actual transgression. This indeed, tho’ it did not, could not, exempt from guilt, fear and shame, considering the purity of the gospel law, nevertheless became justly matter of his thanksgiving to God. “I do (says he) praise God unfeignedly, for with-holding me from my own actual wickedness, and preventing my leading others into the cursed and detestable abomination. But I abhor and condemn myself for the concupiscence and wickedness of my heart, which (with grief and horror God knoweth I speak it!) discovered itself in other respects, such as it is a shame even to mention. Of this no human eye could be a witness.” But God, his holy angels, and his own conscience were more than ten thousand witnesses against him.

And now, at length, his life became a burden to him, almost insupportable. His true character at this time was, O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me! He felt “indwelling sin, indwelling hell,” and breathed in many a groan,

O what is life without my God?

A burden more than I can bear.

I struggle to throw of my load,

Me from myself I strive to tear!

“The Spirit of God (says he) deeply wounded me. The arrows of the almighty stuck fast in me, and my very bones trembled because of my sin. I was persuaded in my heart that this commotion was conviction for my sin; but had little conception that the Holy Spirit was the chief agent in the work: for alas! So great was my ignorance that I did not know there was any Holy Ghost for me to receive.”

“While I was thus in the midst of my extremity, I confessed to the priest according to the custom of the church of Rome. He advised me to say many prayers (as he termed counting my beads) but alas! This did not do: and indeed how should it? I was brought into captivity through the power of sin which reigned in my members. And even my multiplied prayers could be little else than an abomination to the Lord, while neither the form, nor the matter of them was according to the will of God. Many of them being little else than vain repetitions, and babblings to physicians of no value, in this respect; which therefore left me under the power of sin and death.”

Indeed how else should it be? While he was yet unthought of; at least unapplied to, who alone could help him; even Jesus, whose name is salvation: and beside which, in heaven or in earth, there is none other, by which a sinner can be saved. He it is that invites, and he only can, and doth, give the weary and the heavy laden, to find rest to their souls, and who at length did “allay his fever of desire, by sprinkling him with his blood.”

Hearing the priest preach one Lord’s day, and declaim vehemently against a variety of gross sins, the discourse, tho’ (as his words are) “mixed with many falsities,” so deeply affected him, that in the anguish of his spirit, he resolved never more to return to house or home, till God should shew him mercy. This precipitate and unadvised resolution was however of short continuance. In fact, the commotion and disordered state of his soul ill admitted of any thing uniformly steady whether right or wrong, either by purpose or in practice: it therefore soon vanished away, and he again sought by various ways to procure some alleviation of his distress.

“I strove (says he) to divert myself in the best manner I could, seeking rest and peace in the miserable comforts of this world. But my conscience was still restless, and a hell opened in my breast. Not knowing what to do, nor which way to turn for rest, I at length attempted to quiet the clamours of my troubled mind, by solemnly resolving how soberly, righteously, and godly I would live the residue of my life. Full of these good purposes, and strengthened as I thought by vows and promises, I hoped all would be well; having all this while no idea of the satisfaction by Christ and the all-sufficiency ♦of his merits; and therefore, resolving only in my own strength, my resolutions proved as broken cisterns, which could hold no comfort; and as broken reeds, which afforded no strength!”

♦ duplicate word “of” removed

Struggling on still in the dark, he added fasting to his prayers and resolutions. But all this did not do. He still found himself bound as in affliction and iron. He remained in sore bondage, doing the evil he would not, and not doing the good, which he would have done, (Romans ♦vii.) His convictions became still sharper and his fear of hell more deeply distressing. Endeavouring therefore by some means or other to procure rest for his soul, he had recourse to his former shifts, and says, “I repeated my resolutions and vows against sin; but especially whenever I fell into any outward wickedness; and above all, the sin that did so easily beset me. Then I was as on the rack, and thro’ extremity of anguish, have frequently struck myself against the ground, tearing the hairs from off my head.”

♦ “7” replaced with “vii” for consistency

His light began now to encrease with his painful feeling. “About this time (says he) by reading, and the help of the holy Spirit, I began to have a still clearer notion concerning the nature and consequences of sin, and particularly of those which by the church of Rome are termed mortal sins.”

This increase of knowledge did not however mend, much less heal his heart. No,

The sudden ray of heavenly light,

Which dimly dawned upon his night,

But made his darkness visible,

And left him to a deeper hell.

And even in this respect he found it true, that he that encreaseth knowledge, encreaseth sorrow; a proposition which is universally true, with respect to all the pursuits of the soul after happiness: the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and him crucified, alone excepted. Struggling therefore in his chains, he resolved upon other measures. And finding that his prayers, tears, resolutions, and vows did not avail, he devised another expedient, and came to this determination, solemnly to swear to the Lord, imagining that then it would not be possible that he should break with him afterwards, has had been the case, with all his former efforts.

Accordingly he bound himself by an oath, that for the time to come he would abstain from, and utterly renounce all those sins which had wrought him so much uneasiness. This procedure begot in him for the present, rather some cessation from torment, than true peace, and left him for a while in deep security. But alas! It was not long ere he found this band likewise was altogether weak as the staff of a broken reed. He fell into one of those very sins, against the commission of which he had so sacredly bound himself; involving by this means his enlightened conscience in the additional guilt of (what he called) perjury, and thus rendered his anxiety and embarrassment great beyond description.

Who can conceive what his weary spirit now experienced! His wretchedness and confusion exceeded all the powers of words to express.

Yea, he gave up hope; and became well nigh desperate. He knew not whither to betake himself, or what should be his next step; reasoning thus with himself in the bitterness of his soul, “Since I have perjured myself in one instance, I may as well commit all my old sins over again. Thus (adds he) I was driven by the devil, allured by sin and corruption, and deceived by my own evil heart.”

About this time likewise, it pleased our Lord to visit him with a fit of illness, by which his fears and misery were considerably increased. He often bewailed himself in the uttermost anguish of spirit, with weeping and lamentation, breathing out his soul in moans. “O the guilt of sin; when charged home upon the conscience by the Spirit of God, what an intolerable load! A wounded spirit who can bear!”

Thus, being ignorant of God’s righteousness; the way of becoming righteous, or justified, which he hath appointed, he went about to establish his own righteousness, expecting to be justified by the works of the law, and not by the faith of Jesus Christ.

He became wearied in the multitude of his counsels, and seeking not in God’s way it fared with him accordingly. For still, although he sought for rest, he found it not, because he sought it not aright. These were indeed the days of his invincible ignorance, at which therefore the God of love graciously winked. He knew not, because as yet he had no one to teach him. “How (as he says) could I do otherwise? I had not the bible to instruct me; for I never had read it, except a little at school, when I was about eleven years old. Woe to you (he adds) ye blind guides (meaning the Romish clergy) ye have taken away the key of knowledge, that is, the word of God from the people. It is this which unfolds the hidden treasures of his will, and free grace towards mankind. While therefore I remained ignorant of this, no wonder that I went on in error, and fought as one that beateth the air.”

But now the true teacher began more powerfully to manifest himself to him, although as yet he knew him not. The spirit of truth proceeding from the Father and the Son, wrought in him daily, a still deeper solicitude about his salvation. Among others of his reflections in reference thereto, he began to think more seriously than ever, of the doctrine of the church of Rome, and of his own connexions with her; resolving that whatever might be the consequence, he would, both do, and avoid, whatever appeared to him, nay in any measure contribute to the true life of his soul. Thus, hitherto

“Drawn by a secret power he flew,

Nor stay’d to prop the papal throne,

The truth determined to pursue,

And panting for a God unknown;

By works of legal righteousness,

He blindly sought the grace t’obtain,

But could not find the paths of peace,

But labour’d thro’ the fire in vain.”

CHAPTER IV.

Of his forsaking the church of Rome.

A   VARIETY of incidents contributed to this part of his conduct. He was first deeply concerned about the weighty affair of his own salvation; and then began to think seriously of the influence which his religious connexions might have thereon, which prepared him for attending to whatever he at any time either read, or had spoken to him on this head.

That which outwardly contributed most thereto was the instance of his brother, of whom he had learned Latin. “A man (to use his own words) of tolerable learning, and designed for a Popish priest. But seeing many errors among them, he renounced popery.”

About the eighteenth year of his age, while he was a strict observer of the Romish church, this brother (whose relinquishing it was some years before) began frequently to discourse with him concerning the principles of the Romanists. But “I strenuously (says he) though ignorantly withstood him; alledging in my defence the traditions and canons of the church, while he, on the contrary, appealed to the law, and to the testimony. He often said to me, My brother why do you not read God’s word? Lay aside prejudice, and let us reason together.”

“To the same purpose spake another person in the neighbourhood, one Mr. Philip Geyer, a Protestant, and well versed in controversy. Mr. Walsh, you are a sober young man (so indeed I was generally thought to be, though God knows I was drunk with enmity against him) and what pity it is that you do not read the holy scriptures? Why will you suffer yourself to be deceived by the Pope and his fraternity.”

Reasonings of this kind, which were occasionally made use of with him from time to time, together with hearing the scriptures frequently read in his brother’s school, put him at length upon a diligent consideration of both sides of the question. But as it generally happens in like cases, an attachment to old sentiments, the prejudices of education, shame, or fear of man, with a variety of other considerations, kept him for some time in strong suspense. His breast was moved with contrary, and therefore conflicting passions. He revolved in his mind, and rejected many a thought on the head, and again resumed and embraced them. Thus halting between two opinions, he complains of the “Corruption of his heart and prejudice of his education, which were as smoke upon his soul, so dimming his understanding that he could see nothing clearly.”

“I had (continues he) a custom of repeating frequently as I walked by the way, some prayers, or articles of faith which I had learned in my childhood. And walking one day in September, 1748, in a pleasant field, I was ruminating deeply on what my opponents urged against the doctrine of the church of Rome. I said in my heart—Perhaps all is not right. Peradventure I have been imposed upon. But then how shall I know? How can I be certainly assured whether the priest has led me in the right way?—Immediately it ♦occurred to my mind, that on God alone, I could safely venture my salvation, and that without doubt, he would lead me by his counsel, if I asked wisdom of him.”

♦ “occurrd” replaced with “occurred”

“Then I cried unto the Lord God, and said—All things are known to thee, and thou seest that I want to worship thee aright. Shew me the way wherein I ought to go, nor suffer me to be deceived by men.”

The Lord who apprehended, and instructed Saul, when he enquired of him in astonishment, What wilt thou have me to do?¹ Attended to, and answered his prayer; which he did not cease then, to pour out before him. The Father of lights, and the giver of wisdom to all that ask it, did, according to the adorable methods of his working, instruct and determine his choice in this particular.

¹ Acts ix.

To this time and occasion may be referred what he has more than once told me, determined him with respect to the Popish doctrine of merit, and had much influence on his entirely renouncing the communion of that church: namely, the deep impression on his mind of those words of St. Paul, If righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain. This passage he assured me he had not remembered ever to have read, or heard; and that afterwards, when he met with it (Galatians ii. 21.) it was to him like life from the dead. Truly, O God, Thy word is a light, and by taking heed thereto, this young man’s way was cleansed.

Soon after this, he resolved to stand no longer in desponding hesitation, halting between two opinions. “Therefore, (says he) going to my brother and the other persons who used to converse with me on this head, and providentially meeting the two principal ones together, I determined now, once for all, either to convince, or be convinced by them; for I had an unfeigned desire to save my soul.”

“Proposing therefore my design, they desired me to bring a bible, and with it Nelson’s feasts, and fasts of the church of England. Accordingly, we began reading, and conversing, and continued together till midnight.” The result of which was, he now determined no longer to resist conviction. “I was (says he) constrained to give place to the light of truth. It was so convincing that I had nothing more to say. I at length confessed the weakness of my former reasonings, and the strength of those which were opposed to me!”

“About one o’clock in the morning I retired to my lodging, and according to my usual custom went to prayer: but now, only to the God of heaven, I no more prayed to any angel or spirit. For I am deeply persuaded that there is ♦but one God, and one Mediator between God and man, even the man Christ Jesus. Therefore I resolved no longer to suffer any man to beguile me in a voluntary humility, in worshiping either saints or angels.¹ These latter I considered as they are represented, Ministring spirits sent forth to minister for them who shall be heirs of salvation.² But with regard to any worship being paid to them, one of themselves said, See thou do it not, worship God.³ God only.

♦ “b” replaced with “but”

¹ Colossians ii. 18.

² Hebrews i. 14.

³ Revelation xix. 10.

“All my sophisms on this head were entirely overthrown by a few hours candid reading the holy scriptures, which now became as a lantern to my feet, and a lamp to my paths, directing me in the way wherein I should go. I could see no manner of authority either in the old Testament or the new for invocating any saint, or apostle whatsoever. God, the triune God, is, alone, the proper object of prayer, and of all divine worship.” He is likewise a jealous God (Exodus xx. 5.) and will not give his glory to another, before his glorious Majesty the hosts of heaven, angels and authorities, principalities and powers, thrones and dominions, vailing their faces, fall down in lowly prostrations, while they adore him (whom all should adore!) that sitteth upon the throne, and the Lamb, that liveth for ever ♦and ever.”

♦ omitted word “and” supplied

Not many days after, he fell into discourse with his father on the head, and informed him, that he was minded to forsake the church of Rome, being clearly convinced she was not that infallible, or pure church he once esteemed her, “but rather (to use his words) an harlot, who had committed spiritual and vile adultery. My father (adds he) was much provoked, and produced his strong reasons to overthrow all I had said. I dared not but listen to him, which I did with much attention. But the more he argued, the more was I confirmed in my former resolution.”

Being now fully satisfied, and deliberately determined, he resolved to omit no becoming method of testifying the same. And accordingly (having no temporal interest to serve thereby, as may be undeniably plain to every one) he, without farther delay, publickly and in form, renounced his former communion; abjured the errors of the church of Rome, and thence forward regularly attended the service of the church of England.

He was greatly delighted with the prayers. (As was, St. Austin at his first attendance, with the service of the Church in general. Confess., book 9, chapter 6. His heart melted with divine sweetness, and his eyes flowed down with tears of love.) A certain providence seemed to direct the very matter of the first sermon which he heard there. “The first text (says he) I heard preached on at church, was He that believeth and is baptized, shall be saved: but he that believeth not, shall be damned, (Mark xvi. 16.)

“Yet, alas! How little did I know of believing? Being taught, and accustomed to call by the name of faith, the peculiar principles of the church of Rome. But I have now learned a better lesson, and know that rightly to believe, is one of the greatest things in the world.”

“And now that I have left the church of Rome, I nevertheless declare that I think there are many sincere souls among them. For I bear them witness, that they have a zeal for God, tho’ not according to knowledge. Many of them have justice, mercy, and truth; and may (notwithstanding many errors in sentiment, and therefore in practice, thro’ invincible ignorance) since as is God’s majesty, so is his mercy, be dealt with accordingly.”

There have been doubtless, and still are among them, some burning and shining lights; persons who (whatever their particular sentiments may be) are devoted to the service of Jesus Christ, according as their light and opportunities admit. And in reality, whatever opinions people may hold, they are most approved of God, whose tempers and behaviour correspond most with the model of his holy word. This however, can be no justification of avowed unscriptural tenets, such, as has been often proved, are many of those of the church of Rome.

“It may be asked then, ‘Why did I leave their communion, since I thought so favourably of them:’ I answer, because I was abundantly convinced, that as a church, they have erred from the right way, and adulterated the truths of God with the inventions and traditions of men; which the scriptures, and even celebrated writers of themselves abundantly testify. God is my witness herein, that the sole motive which induced me to leave them, was an unfeigned desire to know the way of God more perfectly, in order to the salvation of my soul. For altho’ I then felt, and do yet feel my heart to be as the prophet speaks, deceitful, and desperately wicked with regard to God; yet I was sincere in my reformation, having from the holy Spirit an earnest desire to save my soul, and prepare to meet my God.

“If it should be still asked, ‘But could I not be saved, supposing I had never left the church of Rome?’ I answer, If I had never known the truth of the scriptures concerning the way of salvation, nor been convinced that their principles were anti-scriptural, then I think I might have been saved in her communion, the merciful God making allowance for my invincible ignorance. But now, since God hath enlightened my mind, and given me to see the truth as it is in Jesus, if I had still continued a member of the church of Rome, I could not have been saved.

“With regard to others, I say nothing. I know that every man must bear his own burden, and give an account of himself to God. To their own master, both they and I must stand or fall. But love however, and tender compassion for their souls, constrain me to pour out a prayer to God in their behalf.

“All souls are thine, O Lord God, and thou willest all to come to the knowledge of the truth and be saved. For this end thou did give thy only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him, might not perish, but have everlasting life. I beseech thee therefore O eternal God, shew thy tender mercies upon those poor souls who have been long deluded by the god of this world, the pope, and his clergy. Jesus, thou lover of souls and friend of sinners, send to them thy light, and truth, that they may lead them, and call those straying sheep, now perishing for lack of knowledge, to the light of thy word, which is able to make them wise to salvation through faith, which is in thee!”

CHAPTER V.

Some further account of his progress in the way of life, with other reasons of his conduct in regard of the church of Rome.

T  HE affair of renouncing communion with the Romish church, and declaring himself a member of the church of England, being now over, he set himself to read with much diligence the holy scriptures, together with the writings of some of the most eminent Protestant divines. And hereby he received further light every day, being more and more persuaded that his conduct was right.

By this means he began likewise to see into the nature of the gospel, and the one, only way which it points to life and blessedness, grace and glory. ‘Now (says he) I begin to discern clearly that it is the blood of Christ alone which cleanseth from sin, and that by one offering of himself once for all, he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified.’¹—Perfectly accomplished, without any need of other helps, or repetitions of the same, all that was necessary in order to the justification and glorification of all believers.

¹ Hebrews x. 14.

“I likewise became now more clearly sensible of the errors which I formerly held. As 1st, Thinking that my own works could merit something from God. 2dly, vainly imagining that there is a place for the purgation of sin after death. When at any time therefore I was asked now, why I had left the church of Rome? I could answer upon good and solid grounds: because I am well assured that the doctrines of merit (to speak of no more) and works of supererogation, are contrary both to reason and scripture.”——To reason, it being absurd to suppose that a creature, receiving life, and breath, and all things from its Creator, should be able to love, adore, and obey him, more than is required of him as his indispensable duty.——To scripture; being flatly contrary to the words of Christ, When ye shall have done all these things which are commanded you, say, that is, take knowledge, we are unprofitable servants.¹

¹ Luke xvii. 10.

“Beside, If the blood of Christ, the merit of all he hath done and suffered, cleanseth from all sin,¹ what imaginable need can there be of the fire of purgatory? Surely when all sin is cleansed, or taken away, there can be none remaining.” Alas for those who trust for safety to such a staff of a broken reed! Deferring the present opportunities and means of deliverance from sin and death, under the pretence of some future purgation from sin in the invisible world.

¹ 1 John i. 7.

“If all the light of this world was to be immediately at once extinguished, all human souls that were not in some real degree of regeneration, would immediately find themselves but the rage of fire, and horror of darkness.” O then thou poor sinner, whoever thou art, repent, repent, and turn to God, whilst thou hast flesh upon thee; for as long as that lasts the kingdom of God is nigh at hand: but if thou diest without true conversion, better thou hadst never been born! For then “black lakes, bottomless pits, ages of a gnawing worm, and a fire that never ceases to burn, will stand between thee and the kingdom of heaven for ever.”

His now encreasing knowledge in the things of God; his ability from the holy scriptures to distinguish between truth and error, became daily and justly matter of his thanksgiving to God. But yet his unregenerate nature was not, could not be truly at rest. The word of God was now indeed his study and delight. But it served likewise, by shewing him how his heart and life must be, more deeply to distress him. The commandment in its spiritual and extensive meaning, still dissecting his inward parts, slew him (Romans vii. 8–11.) so that he was clearly and distressingly sensible of his death in trespasses and sins. His convictions and anguish of spirit became therefore more afflictive than ever.

The small cessation from pain which his relinquishing popery afforded, served now, only to augment his sorrow, to find that after all, the great affair was yet to do. And such was his present anxiety, that he even forgot, or neglected to eat his bread. “My conscience (says he) still condemned me, there was no rest in my bones by reason of sin.” And yet meaning to make sure work, he desired to know the uttermost of his evil and danger. To this end he read those passages, both divine and human, which seemed most to condemn him: “For I was willing (adds he) to know the worst of my condition: not indeed that this was always the case. Sometimes the devil, and the corruption of my nature so far prevailed as to hush my conscience, and drown my convictions, by a variety of thoughts, and things.”

Thus far did he labour through the furnace of heart-tormenting conflict; assaulted on the one hand by the Romanists, who still wrought him all the trouble they could, both by calumny and contention: And on the other, by the ruler of the darkness of this world; Satan and his emissaries, seeking to devour him. Our Lord’s words, John xvi. 21. were literally verified in him; as indeed they are more or less, in every one that is truly born again. He travailed in birth, and was in sorrow, and pain to be delivered. The agony of his heart frequently extorted from him, complaints to this effect, the sorrows of death have compassed me about, and the pains of hell have got hold upon me! He found trouble and heaviness. In his distress he cried unto the Lord, and said, O Lord I beseech thee deliver my soul! I am oppressed, undertake for me!

And thus he remained for some time waiting, and longing for his God, even as the thirsty ground for showers. His sorrow it is true was often interspersed with gleams of sweetly reviving hope. That yet a little while, and he whom he sought would come, and would not tarry, while his very pulse still beat, Make no long tarrying, O my God. Make haste my beloved, and come away. Be thou like a roe, or a young hart upon the mountains of Bether. The Lord did indeed wait to be gracious to him, and was exalted in having mercy upon him. He brought to the birth, and gave strength to bring forth. For the spirit of heaviness, he afterwards received the garments of praise, and for mourning the oil of joy.

CHAPTER VI.

Of some particulars previous to his conversion.

A  FTER having made use of every means, which either men or books could suggest, but without the desired effect, (being now in the nineteenth year of his age) as he returned to his lodging one evening in the city of Limerick, March 17, 1749, he saw an uncommonly large concourse of people assembled in a place called the Parade adjoining to the main street. He turned aside to see what it meant; and perceiving a man preaching to the people in the open air (a thing then quite new in Ireland,) he eagerly stopped to know what he said. And hearing him (Mr. R. S.) from Matthew xi. 28. affectionately, and earnestly entreat all persons to come to Jesus Christ, that they might find rest to their souls: and withal exhorting them to search the scriptures, and see for themselves if what he said was not true; it filled him with wonder, and with desire to know more of this matter.

He had of a long time sorely felt the want of rest, that is, happiness in his soul. And notwithstanding all his endeavours to obtain it, like the poor woman in the gospel,¹ who had spent all that she had upon physicians and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse, his case became every day more insupportable. A pressing invitation therefore to partake of, and an assurance of finding the very thing he so wanted, could not fail of being acceptable to him.

¹ Mark v. 25.

So impenetrable is the abyss of God’s judgments! Great things doth he, which who can comprehend! He had prepared the soul of his servant to receive with inexpressible joy, the gospel of peace, and sent it him in a way which he least of all expected, and which the wisdom of man would never have made choice of, Thus,

While yet he toil’d, a sudden cry

Proclaim’d th’ approaching multitude,

Who told of Jesus passing by,

Of free redemption in his blood:

Upstarted light, the beggar blind,

He sprang the healing touch to meet,

Cast all his filthy rags behind,

And groan’d for faith at Jesu’s feet.

“But here (says he) it may be needful, in order the better to understand some particulars which will be hereafter related, to premise ♦a few things relative to this preacher, and the people to whom he belonged, 1st, he was one of the people called Methodists, and a member of the church of England. 2dly, This people began to preach Christ, and justification thro’ his blood, about the year 1738, having had their beginning at Oxford, in the Rev. Mr. John and Charles Wesley; the former a fellow of Lincoln College, and the latter, student of Christ Church. These two brothers having obtained mercy themselves, were called of God to publish his love to others likewise, by preaching the gospel of the kingdom, to every creature that would hear the joyful sound. Accordingly, out they go into the lanes and highways, crying in the voice of wisdom to the sons of men, beseeching and compelling sinners to turn to God, to come to that feast of marrow and fat things, which he hath prepared for all who will but accept of life and salvation.”¹

♦ duplicate word “a” removed

¹ See Luke xiv. 16–24. Proverbs viii. 1–5. and compare with Proverbs i. 24.

“After these servants of God had been thus employed for some time, it pleased their divine Master, to send forth other labourers also into his harvest, to assist in the same blessed work: not indeed such as human wisdom would have appointed, the great or wise men of this world; but quite the contrary: the poor (for the most part) and as St. Paul says, the base and weak, that thus, leaving no room for boasting or glorying in man, whoso glorieth might glory in the Lord.”¹

¹ 1 Corinthians i. 25–31.

“Some of these, after preaching the gospel in the streets and highways, to their own countrymen, brought the glad tidings to Ireland also; where, going about from place to place, thro’ cities and villages, they freely declared, what they had so freely received, to every one that would hear. And glory be to God, their labour of love was not in vain. He that sent them, gave their word his blessing, so that many received it gladly; and having felt its power, to this day bring forth fruit with patience; the fruit of righteousness, to the glory of God.”

It was some weeks before he had opportunity of hearing them again, being obliged to take care of his school in the country. On his next return to Limerick he heard another of them (Mr. T. W.) and liked their preaching still better. But his fondness for, and attachment to the word of God, would not admit of his taking things of so high a nature upon trust. He therefore compared their doctrine with the word of God, and with the articles and homilies (which were now likewise his secondary, standards of truth) of the church of England; and “I found it, (says he) to be consonant with both. I became daily more and more attached to them, and their manner of living encreased my affection for them. They appeared to me to be true followers of Christ, and his apostles, adorning the doctrine of God in all things.”

“When they had preached the gospel at Limerick for some time, they came over to New-Market, a village where I then resided, about eight miles from thence. In a little time there was a society formed, (so they called those who met weekly together, in order to sing the praises of God, to pray to him, and to help each other on to heaven.) To these I joined myself a member, September 29, 1749, in order to be more fully instructed in the way of salvation.”

CHAPTER VII.

Giving a farther account of the state of his soul, particularly of his deep convictions.

G  OD had, by this time, made plain his way before his face. His holy word had fully informed his understanding, how a sinner can find favour with God. His scruples were all removed, and he wanted only the possession of what he saw as at a distance; to know, by experience, the certainty of those things wherein he had been instructed.

His soul reached out with vehemency of desire to the mark of the prize of his high calling. But yet he could not lay hold on the hope set before him. He could not break the bondage of unbelief, of which he was now deeply convinced, and under which he groaned continually. In short, he felt what cannot be easily explained: the sorrows and strugglings, as well as joys, of the truly regenerate, being of such a nature, that strangers to that happy change can have very imperfect conceptions of. (1 Chronicles ii. 11.)

*He particularly describes the manner, in which he perceived himself wrought upon, as follows,

“1st. The Lord convinced me of my bosom sin, that which did most easily beset me; representing the heinousness of it in various circumstances.”

“2dly. All my other abominations: sins in general, of omission, and commission were set in array before me, as an army ready to devour me; or, as so many devils ready to tear me in pieces. God wrote them down in large characters, so that I might well say, My sins were ever before me.”

“3dly. I was clearly convinced, that not only my sins, but likewise what I called my duties, were an abomination unto the Lord. My righteousness appeared as filthy rags. The corrupt tree could not bring forth good fruit.”

“4thly. The same spirit convinced me, that I was an unbeliever; that I had not true faith, and therefore no part nor lot in the Lord Jesus Christ. As an unbeliever I was condemned already, and the wrath of God abode upon me, (John iii.) I assented indeed to every thing revealed in the bible; yet I now clearly perceived, I lacked the very true, Christian faith. I learned from the Methodists, so called, and had it confirmed to me by the New Testament, that whosoever has true faith, has with it the remission of sins,¹ and is at peace with God. I read, that whosoever believeth, is born of God; and he that is born of God sinneth not:² but I sinned, and thence inferred, I had not faith, neither was born of God.”

¹ ♦Romans iv. 5. and v. 1. and viii. 1. John iii. 18. Acts. xiii. 39. 1 John v. 10.

² 1 John iii. 9. and v. 1.

♦ Arabic chapter numbers replaced with Roman numerals for consistency.

“5thly. I was deeply convinced, that I could not help myself; that I was utterly unable to work, either repentance, faith or holiness in my own soul, and that it was by grace alone I could be saved.”

“6thly. I was without comfort, and miserable. My soul was grieved, and my heart fainted within me. I found labour and sorrow beyond expression. Worldly comforts availed nought. I had no rest night or day. When I prayed I was troubled; when I heard a sermon, I was pierced as with darts and arrows. Whenever I either read or conversed, still I was broken and bruised in heart. Thus was I stripped of all, and wretched, and blind and naked; having neither faith nor power, holiness nor happiness. Truly there was no sound part in me. All was wounds and bruises, and putrifying sores. Often I could neither sleep nor eat. The affliction of my soul so affected my body, that at length I was obliged to take to my bed.”

“7thly. I saw by the same light of the holy Spirit, the ground of all this, namely, Original sin. This I felt was the source of all my misery and helplessness. By one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, and so death passed upon all, for that all have sinned.¹ Here I saw the root of all evil. Hence are we children of wrath; banished from God, and the tree of life.”

¹ Romans v. 12.

This was his state about the year 1749. And in substance, I believe (tho’ all do not so circumstantially attend to it) this agrees with the experience of most of the children of God.

One would not however attempt to fix a determinate point: making the progress of the work of God in one, or a thousand persons, a standard by which to judge of the genuineness of the experience of others. There are diversities of operations by the same spirit. But it is the same God, who worketh all in all.

With some souls, it pleaseth our Lord to deal more gently, than with others; as (to mention no more examples) in the case of Lydia, and the jaylor, (Acts xvi.) The latter, trembling and terrified, fell down, prostrate, before Paul and Silas, and said, in the utmost consternation, What must I do to be saved! While the former, without any such previous terror, had her heart gently opened to attend unto, and receive the words of eternal life, which were spoken of Paul. And there are no doubt, thousands of resembling instances at this day.

But in general, it may be observed, that with regard to those, whom God intends for the service of other souls, he gives them to feel, as they are able to bear, the uttermost of their nature’s death; the bitterness and desert of the sin that dwells in the heart, as well as the wicked works of their life, before he shews them his salvation; that being feelingly acquainted with the evil nature of sin, and the wretchedness of an unregenerate state, they may be the better capable of sympathizing with, and counselling others in like circumstances; and be quickened in their endeavours of saving souls from death.

But in all who are begetting again to newness of life, there is a deep consciousness of want. And there never has been an instance of true conversion among grown persons, where the soul did not previously feel its poverty, guilt, or danger, in a greater or less degree. Our Saviour heals none who have not a feeling want, producing earnest desires of being healed. It is the weary and the heavy laden, whom he calls to come to him, that they may find rest to their souls. He is the living bread, and the water of life, for which, only awakened souls hunger and thirst, and with which alone, they can be satisfied.

Having mentioned St. Austin, with reference to the usual manner of our Lord’s dealing with souls, intended for the service of others; and considering the resemblance, which in some parts of his experience, there is, with the experience of him before us, I persuade myself it will not be unacceptable to some readers, to subjoin a short account of the travail of his soul, above fourteen hundred years ago, in his own words.

“Thou, O Lord, didst turn me about towards myself; and tookest me from behind my back, where I had placed me, whilst I had no mind to observe myself, that I might see how deformed a thing I was; covered over with scabs and ulcers: and I beheld, and abhorred.—But I, then a wretched young man, had in the first dawning of my youth, begged of thee chastity; and had said, Give me chastity; but yet awhile do not give it. For I feared thou shouldst hear me too soon, and presently heal me of that disease and concupiscence which I wished, rather might be satiated than extinguished.—But now was the day come, in which I was laid naked to myself, and my conscience began to reproach me.——I was inwardly corroded, and extremely confounded.”

“—Amidst this great controversy within, which I hotly disputed with my soul, troubled as well in countenance as in mind,—my eyes, forehead, cheeks, colour, the accent of my voice more spoke my passion than words could.—There was a little garden belonging to my lodging, which I had the use of. Thither this tumult in my breast carried me away, where none might hinder the hot contention which was engaged within me, until concluded in that issue, which thou already knewest, but not I. Only I was in suffering a death that would beget life: well knowing what evil I then was; not knowing what good, within a little while, I was to be.—I fretted my spirit, whilst all my bones cried out.——From whence such a monster? Let thy mercy enlighten me, and let me enquire, Whence such a monster? and how can this be?——”

“Thus I was accusing myself much more severely than formerly, and winding to and fro in my chain; a small piece only of which now held me; yet held me still. And thou, O Lord, pressedst sore upon me in mine inner parts, with a severe mercy, redoubling the lashes of fear and shame.—And the point of time, in which I was to become another man, as it approached nearer, struck me with more horror. Yet it did not make me to recoil, or turn away; but only to stand in a suspense.”

*“Such was the contest acted within my heart.—But as soon as more profound meditation had drawn out, from the very bottom of this sink, and laid on an heap, all my misery before the view of my soul; there arose in me a mighty tempest, bringing with it great showers of tears.—I, under a certain fig-tree, threw down myself, I know not how, and gave liberty to my tears; and the rivers of my eyes ran a-pace. And I said, Thou, Lord, how long? How long wilt thou be angry, for ever? Remember not my former iniquities, Psalms lxxix. 5, 8. For I well perceived I was still possessed, and with-held by them, and therefore cast out such miserable complaints, How long? How long? To-morrow, and to-morrow? Why not presently? Why not this very hour, an end to my filthiness.”

*“These things I uttered as I wept with bitter contrition: and behold, I heard a voice as from a neighbouring house, as of a boy or girl, in a singing note, saying, and often repeating; tolle, lege; tolle, lege; take up and read; take up and read. And presently my countenance being altered, I began to consider, whether children were wont in any kind of play to sing such words: nor could I call to mind that I any where heard the like.”

“Whereupon, suppressing the course of my tears, I rose up, interpreting it to be a divine admonition, that I should open the book, and read the place I first light upon.—So getting up hastily, I returned to the place where I had been sitting before, for there I had left St. Paul’s epistles. I catched it up, opened it, read in silence the piece of the chapter on which I first cast mine eyes; not in rioting and drunkenness; not in chambering and wantonness; not in strife and envying: but put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof. Romans xiii. 13.”

“I could read no farther, nor was there need: for at the end of those lines, as it were with a new light of confidence streaming into my soul, the darkness of all former doubting and hesitancy was dispelled.——”

*“O Jesus Christ, my helper, and my Redeemer! How sweet on a sudden became it to me, to submit my neck to thy easy yoke, and my shoulders, unto thy light burden.——And what before, it was my fear to lose, how was it now my joy to dismiss! For thou the true, and the supreme sweetness, didst expel them from me: thou expelledst them and thyself enteredst into me instead of them: more delicious than all delights, but not to flesh and blood: more bright and glorious than all light, but to the inward hidden man, exalted above the heights of all honour, but not to those who exalt themselves.—And now my infant tongue began to converse with thee, my ambition, and my riches, and my salvation, my Lord God!”

CHAPTER VIII.

Of his finding rest to his soul.

A  LTHOUGH the night had hitherto hung upon his soul, yet he frequently saw the promise of deliverance at a distance. But now the day-spring from on high began to dawn upon him. The manner of which he describes as follows,

“Having given an account of my convictions, I think it may not be improper to relate likewise, how the promise was fulfilled in me. And this also is the work of the Holy Ghost, convincing of righteousness as he doth of sin.

“1st. He kindled in my soul earnest desires towards God. There was a tenderness in my heart. It began to warm and dissolve after it was broken by the law, and scorched by the wrath of God; and to be a little comforted and encouraged.

*“2dly. Light began to spring up in my mind. I saw at length, not my guilt only, but likewise the all sufficiency of Christ, and his atonement. I was convinced that he came to seek and to save lost sinners: that he tasted death for every man; that he willeth all men to be saved, and come to the knowledge of the truth, in order thereto. O what a glorious view had I of the mercy of God in giving his Son, and of the unspeakable love and pity of Christ in dying for sinners. I was constrained to cry out, Lord, what manner of love is this, wherewith thou has loved us! What is man that thou shouldest be so mindful of him! But I could not yet say that I had redemption in the blood of Christ, the forgiveness of my sins. I did not experience the merit of his death applied to my soul.

“3dly. But I had strong hope that God would be merciful to my unrighteousness, and blot out my sins for his name sake. I could see the promise and pardon held forth to me, though as yet I was not able to lay hold of them. At certain seasons indeed I could be almost confident that there was no condemnation to me; and could venture my soul upon Christ, for life and salvation. But this soon vanished away, which convinced me it was not justifying faith, else the witness would be in my heart; for he that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself.¹ And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the spirit of his Son into your heart crying, Abba, Father.²

¹ 1 John v. 10.

² Galatians iv. 6.

“4thly. There was kindled in my soul a still more vehement thirst after Christ. Nothing could now satisfy me short of the assured knowledge, that I had an interest in his blood. My soul was sick with fervent longings. I esteemed all things but dung and dross for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus. He appeared altogether lovely to me. I beheld all glory, all happiness, all riches, and honour in the Saviour. I had no desire after other things: all relish for them was gone, ‘Give me Christ, or else I die!’ Sin lost its power, so that no sin had dominion over me. I was so taken up in beholding the Lord Jesus, in reading and in prayer, that I had no desire of any thing else. Neither the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, nor the pride of life, had any power over me. But yet I could not say, I was then a believer. I had indeed an utter hatred to all sin, and power to forsake every thing that I believed to be offensive to God, and contrary to the holy will of my Lord Jesus, whom I sought and desired above all things visible or invisible.

“5thly. And now, about four months after my most deep awakenings, and joining the Methodist society, the clear day began to shine and the Lord, who is rich in mercy visited me with his salvation. He brought me out of the horrible pit, and miry clay, and set my feet upon the rock Christ Jesus. The particular manner of which was as follows,

“Coming into the room where we were accustomed to meet together, to hear the word of exhortation; before preaching began, I sat musing. My soul was looking out and longing for Christ, as the watchman for the morning. The congregation being assembled, the servant of God (Mr. W. T.) poured out his soul in prayer. And as he prayed, the power of the Lord came down in the midst of us. The windows of heaven were opened, and the skies poured down righteousness. My heart melted like wax before the fire; especially at the mention of those words, Who is this that cometh from Edom, with dyed garments from Bozrah? This that is glorious in his apparel travelling in the greatness of his strength? And again, at the singing those words in the hymn.

“Behold the Saviour of mankind,

Nail’d to the shameful tree!

How vast the love that him inclin’d

To bleed, and die for thee!

’Tis done! the precious ransom’s paid;

Receive my soul he cries;

See, where he bows his sacred head!

He bows his head and dies.”

“The former words in the prayer, and these in the hymn, came with such power to my heart that I was constrained to cry out, Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name; for he hath forgiven all mine iniquity, and healed my diseases.

“And now I was divinely assured that God, for Christ’s sake, had forgiven me all my sins. The Spirit of God bore witness with my spirit that I was a child of God. Mercy and truth met together in my heart; righteousness and peace kissed each other. Yea, so great was the deliverance, and so strong the consolation, that I could not contain myself. I broke out into tears of joy and love, having obtained such mercy I could not but join with the angels to sing praises to him that sitteth upon the throne, and to the Lamb, who so loved me, and washed me from my sins, in his own blood. A new song was indeed put into my mouth, even of thanksgiving unto my God.

*“I had often in private cried aloud to God, yet it was not till now, that I did so in the congregation. But my wound being healed, a necessity was laid upon me to declare what the Lord had done for my soul. In the same hour another who sat next to me was filled with joy and peace in believing. We both withdrew to another room, and gave thanks and praise to God together.

“And now I felt of a truth that faith in Christ, is the substance or subsistance of things hoped for, and an evidence of things not seen. God, and the things of the invisible world, of which I had only heard before by the hearing of the ear, appeared now in their true light, as substantial realities, and for him.

*“I could now lay hold on Christ, and the promises of God through him. Faith in his blood brought heaven into my breast, and filled me with righteousness, and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost. It gave me to see a reconciled God, and an all sufficient Saviour. And thus was it an evidence to me. Through this faith I could say, Christ loved me, and gave himself for me. O this is the gift of God! Faith of the operation of the Holy Ghost.”

CHAPTER IX.

Of the confirmation of his soul in the grace of God, and the happy effects which it produced in him.

H  E lived now as in another world. Behold God is my salvation, went through the whole of his heart and conduct. His soul was delighted with those good things reserved for, and enjoyed only by such as love God. He so tasted that the Lord is gracious, as left no room, at present, for evil reasonings, and engrossed his whole body and soul for God. The overflowings of his joy corresponding with his former sorrow, rendered him happy beyond all description.

And this, as may be observed in the experience of the faithful, is commonly the case; the peace and joy of justified souls, being usually proportionate to their previous distress; God in this respect likewise, comforting them according to the time wherein he had shewed them trouble. The grand enquiry is “Am I really converted? Am I now at peace, and in fellowship with God my Saviour?” If so, is not the precise how immaterial? Such persons then as have been led by slow, and gradual steps; who have by a comparatively easy transition passed from darkness to light, Let them give glory to their deliverer, and not, on this account, perplex themselves with scruples for having been so gently dealt with. Let them live only for Him, and they shall be finally approved, in the presence of God and of his holy angels.

His happiness now received daily increase from the undoubted assurances which he received of the genuine change.

He observes, “the more I compare my experience with the word of God, and with the experience of his children, I am the more confirmed that it is no delusion, no fancy; but a real work of God, a saving change wrought in my soul by the Spirit of God, through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I am persuaded however that the natural man, (1 Corinthians ii. 14.) cannot receive the things of the Spirit of God. He has neither eyes to see, nor a heart to understand them. A stranger doth not intermeddle with this joy. It is the hidden manna, and the white stone, and the new name (of adoption) written thereon, (Revelation ii. 17.) which no man knoweth save he that receiveth it. Glory, glory be to God on high!

“Now did I find the yoke of Christ to be easy indeed, and his burden light. His thoughts and commandments were sweet to my soul, sweeter than honey to my tongue. It was my comfort all the day long to praise my Lord, and to walk in the ways which he set before me. He created me unto good works, and I chearfully walked in them.”

The Love of God being thus shed abroad in his heart enabled him rightly to love his brother also. His soul was drawn out in good will and tender affection to every creature: neighbours and strangers, friends and enemies. “I could (says he) unfeignedly love them that hated me, and pray for them that despitefully used and persecuted me!” Thus truly evidencing himself, to be a child of his Father in heaven.

*But he did not stop here. His soul thirsted more and more for all the mind that was in Christ Jesus. He followed after, and longed for, an entire renovation; for nearer and stronger union and communion with the Lord Jesus: nor could he be at all easy, otherwise than in a free and near access to him, and a sweet enjoyment of his gracious presence. His constant cry was, “Make me holy. Fulfil in me all the good pleasure of thy goodness, and the work of faith with power.” For this he struggled, and pleaded much with God.

This was early his mark, and the glorious prize at which he aimed throughout the residue of his christian race.

His enjoyments were hitherto, with scarce the smallest alloy, having had, not so much as a doubt concerning the reality of what had passed in his soul. The fury of the oppressor was so restrained, and the light of divine truth so abode with him, that he continually set to his seal that God is love, and taketh pleasure in the prosperity of his children. All fear of death and hell was removed from him; neither had sin any dominion over him. “God (says he) gave me the victory thro’ our Lord Jesus Christ, whose righteousness was imputed to me for the remission of my sins!”

“Therefore did I know that I was a child of God, under grace, because sin did not reign in my mortal body, that I should obey it in the desires thereof. If so much as an evil thought was at any time injected, or the remains of the old man began to stir in me, I had immediate power to resist and overcome them!

“Tempted indeed I was; but in every temptation there was a way made for my escape. Whenever the enemy came in upon me as a flood, Jesus appointed salvation for walls and bulwarks around me. He lifted up a standard against him, and frustrated all his counsels: for greater is he that was in me, than he that is in the world.

*“I may say in few words, that the kingdom of God was within me. I fed upon marrow and fatness, and with comfort drew water out of the wells of salvation. Sin, and temptation, and pain fled before the Lord Jesus, who dwelt in my heart by faith. I walked and talked with God all the day long. Whatsoever I believed to be his will, I did to the uttermost of my power, with my whole heart. Prayer, reading, fasting, watching, communicating, and Christian fellowship, were the joy of my soul. The commandments of God, and his holy laws, were my delight. I not only rejoiced ever more, but prayed without ceasing, and in every thing gave thanks, whether I eat or drank, or whatever I did, it was indeed in the name of the Lord Jesus, and to the glory of God!”

CHAPTER X.

His employment among his Christian brethren, and the treatment he met with from the world.

*  THE treasure of light and love, which God had put into the soul of his servant, began now, to shine clearly to others. They could easily discern an amazing change in his very aspect, as well as tempers, and conduct in general. The calm, and at the same time, divine chearfulness and serenity of his soul, rendered him a desirable, as well as useful member of their religious meetings. And the loving zeal which he felt for promoting the glory of his dying God, prompted him to exert himself with much fervour in the service of his neighbour.

Thus with a heart set on fire, to pay, at least some small returns, for all that ocean of mercy, and love which he had experienced in himself, he sought opportunities, and embraced every occasion of imparting all the good which he possibly could to others; till it seemed good to those who directed their religious exercises to appoint him leader of a class, (so called) that is, a little company of Christian friends, mutually agreed to meet together weekly, in order to their furtherance in the way of godliness: one person of which was stiled leader.

This was the little office assigned him at present, in which “My business (says he) was, 1st. To see each person in my class once a week, and if any were absent, to enquire into the cause. 2. Whenever we met together, to sing psalms or hymns, and to pray with them. 3. To examine how their souls prospered, and what progress they had made the preceeding week in the way of the Lord?” Whether they were unanimously determined to serve God with their whole heart? If any had fallen into sin, they were reproved; if tempted, they were comforted and encouraged; and those who ran well, adorning their profession in all things, were exhorted still to press forward, and give glory to God.

After a faithful, and friendly examination of each other (between which and the Popish Auricular Confession, with which some have erroneously or unkindly ♦parallel’d it, there is scarce the most distant resemblance) they concluded with praising God and prayers suited to their several conditions.

♦ “parrallel’d” replaced with “parallel’d”

But besides this, he met with the whole society two or three times a week, when with praises and prayers, there was always a word of exhortation preached or read. And it pleased God, to testify his approbation thereof, by the singular display of his presence amongst them; by replenishing their souls with abundance of his grace and heavenly benediction.

*And, “O (adds he) how wonderfully did we experience the power, and love of God, whenever we made prayer and supplication to him! We had a heaven among us; a paradise within us! The Lord poured such peace and joy into our hearts, and we were often so happy that we did not know how to part. We lived as brethren, and strove together for the hope of the gospel. We were of one heart, and of one mind, in the presence of God. And is not this the communion of Saints?”

So dear the tye, where souls agree

In Jesu’s dying love;

Then only can it closer be,

When all are join’d above!

Mean time, his hitherto undisturbed repose, began to be sorely assaulted. His relations now took a second alarm. “They thought (says he) That I was turned heretic altogether.” To forsake the church of Rome, and declare himself a member of the church of England, was bad enough, and with them matter of much displeasure; but to become a Methodist beside!¹ This they judged the very consummation of apostacy, and gave him up as undone for ever. And it was not only his kindred, who so judged of him, “But (adds he) my neighbours in general were like-minded with my relations, and not only those of the church of Rome; but several likewise who called themselves Protestants. They were extremely angry that I should, as they called it, ‘change my religion.’”

¹ In reality this is no alteration of the case; it is in this respect no more than a name: a true Methodist (for they are not all Israel who are called Israel) being no other than a true Churchman. They make not so much as a pretence to be a distinct, independant body of people. They are properly a religious society, (not a new thing in England) consisting, for the most part of professed members of the church of England; whose only design is to promote among each other, and mankind in general, the genuine religion of Jesus Christ.

“And now did I see plainly, that persons of every denomination, who are yet in their sins, under the guilt and power of them, are at enmity against Christ. And that Protestants, as well as Papists, have naturally a spirit of calumny and persecution.” Alas, names and opinions, what are they? They do not, cannot alter the nature of men or things; and experience abundantly shews, how little influence they have over ♦the tempers and life of the generality of mankind. “Reformed and unreformed (adds he) I found it to be just alike; and that many who spoke against the Pope and Inquisition were themselves in reality of the same spirit.”

♦ duplicate word “the” removed

“When I was first converted, I had no notion that people could hate, and speak evil of me, for fearing God, and working righteousness.¹ But experience has taught me otherwise, I soon found the truth of the apostle’s words, That all who will live godly in Christ Jesus, shall suffer persecution, (2 Timothy iii. 12.) relations, acquaintance, and neighbours, rich and poor, old and young, clergy and laity, were all against me. Some said I was an hypocrite; others that I was mad; others, judging more favourably, that I was deceived. Many that before thought well; yea, highly of me, knew not how to harbour a good thought of me.”

¹ This is not indeed the avowed reason of the opposition which the world has in all ages made to the servants of Christ. But that it is the true one the scriptures abundantly testify.

But when God speaks powerfully to the heart, the sentiments and words of men, be they flattering or threatning, make but little impression. He was therefore so far from being moved by this treatment, that it became to him, rather a confirmation of the doctrine of the Son of God, who says, expressly, Wo unto you, when all men shall speak well of you; and blessed are ye when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil of you falsely for my name-sake.

“Of a truth the world lieth in the wicked one. And they who are after the flesh, will hate and persecute them that are after the Spirit. The devil hates Christ and his children. It is the Spirit of Christ in his children, which that evil spirit in the children of disobedience so violently opposes. The spirit of the world lusteth to envy. The devil envied Adam; so did Cain his brother Abel: and as it has been of old time, so it is at this day. Light can have no communion with darkness, neither Christ with Belial. In this respect, there is nothing new under the sun; but that which hath been, is the thing that is. The true worshippers of God, under the old Testament, and the sincere disciples of Christ, under the new, have been evil treated by those among whom they lived. They hated them, because their works were righteous. And so it is even now.”

CHAPTER XI.

His providential appointment to labour for the good of his neighbour, by preaching the gospel.

H  E had from his first thorough awakening, a love to, and concern for the souls of others. The same cause which made him so solicitous for his own salvation, produced in him a tender sympathy for the souls of his neighbours, and the apprehensions he had of his own danger, impelled him to warn others also. The hand of God was, no doubt, in this, as well as in the whole series of his preceeding conversion. His adorable wisdom, had appointed him an instrument of saving souls from endless misery; having first prepared him for it (without his knowledge of any such design) by the hell, and heaven, so to speak, of his own experience.

Even before he had obtained mercy, he began to warn others, exhorting all, with whom he had any sort of intercourse, to flee from the wrath to come. Thus (as he observes) “while I was in unbelief myself, I sometimes forgot my own condition through eagerness of desire for the salvation of other souls.”

Mean time it was frequently impressed upon his mind, “You must preach the gospel. Thou shalt bear public testimony to the truth of God,” by openly declaring his loving kindness, in the redemption of the world. But he often resisted the thought, urging the impossibility thereof, from a variety of considerations, and saying in effect, Send by whom thou wilt send; but send not me.

Indeed, though he might have never so much desired it, in submission to the will of God; nevertheless, when the thought first presented itself to him, being a conscious unbeliever, he might have justly said, and it was the language of his heart,

“How shall I teach the world to praise?

Unchang’d my heart, unloos’d my tongue?

Give me the power of faith to prove,

And Jesus shall be all my song.”

Influenced by these kinds of considerations, he could not, while he remained himself under the bondage, think of publishing peace and liberty to others. But the case was, in some degree altered, after he had tasted that the Lord is gracious. He was then drawn out more abundantly with love to souls, and his conviction became still stronger, that he must preach Christ Jesus to the people.

This put him upon earnest prayer, and frequent fastings, to know, assuredly, the will of God, in a matter, which he rightly judged of so great moment. “I prostrated myself before the Lord (says he) and intreated him, to shew me his pleasure herein; to convince me by his holy spirit, whether the thoughts of my heart were according to his holy will, and, whether I ought to speak in his name; or if I was under a delusion, to shew me this also, and deliver me from it. I could appeal to the searcher of hearts, that I desired only to glorify him and do his will in all things.” He conducted himself in it with all possible secresy; being even then persuaded, that the affairs of God are to be carried on without noise; and that no ostentation should be used even in forsaking all to serve Christ, in this or any other way. And yet to see him employed always for God, spending his time only in reading, writing, exhorting others, and in profound meditation, it was easy to imagine that he either projected something for God’s glory, more than could be executed by him in private; or, at least, that whether he had any such design, or not, God meant it concerning him.

He still kept the affair within his own breast having mentioned it to no one person whatsoever; till from some words he occasionally dropped, one day among his brethren, one of them gathered, that he had some thoughts of that kind. At length it became matter of much and earnest prayer, among the most serious of his Christian acquaintance, with whom, afterwards, he held frequent conversations on the head; being fearful of taking one step in a matter of so great importance, without the clearest intimations of the divine good-pleasure.

He well knew that to engage in the endeavour of saving souls from death, was to commence war with Satan, and all the sons of disobedience; nevertheless, being at length persuaded of the will of God, and not knowing how soon he might be in another world, the great concernment of miserable souls, prevailed with him to engage in it; concluding that if but one or two persons, might by his means be won to God, it would recompense any treatment he might meet with in the world. He was fully disposed to sacrifice his reputation, as well as life, to advance the kingdom of the Son of God.

He judged that the knowledge of languages, and other branches of human literature, are highly expedient, and in some cases necessary; but that however, they are not absolutely so, in order to qualify a man for preaching the gospel with success. He knew that he might understand sound doctrine, and hold fast a form of sound speech, without the knowledge of either Latin, Greek, or Hebrew. He nevertheless, at no time spoke disrespectfully of learning: quite the contrary; but yet perceived with adoration the truth of St. Paul’s words, with reference to the divine œconomy, in the management of the affairs of his kingdom: After that in the wisdom of God; according to his wise disposals, leaving them to make the trial, the world, whether Jewish or Gentile, by all their boasted Wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. (1 Corinthians i. 21.)

He well knew by this time, that it is the inspiration of the Almighty, giving heavenly understanding, which only, avails here; that the most shining abilities, natural or acquired, without the wisdom that is from above, and the anointing of the Holy Ghost, are, in the account of God, in respect of bringing sons to glory, lighter than vanity; nor better than sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. In fact, that the learning of the world, used otherwise, than in subservience to the true interests of Jesus Christ, in teaching, and vindicating simplicity, and purity of heart, and subjection in life to him, rather feeds the pride of human understanding, and makes a person more like Satan than he would be without it: but that rightly used, it is a good gift of God, and greatly conducive to his glory.

Indeed from his earliest days, he did not neglect any means which was in his power, for the cultivating his understanding. But he now set himself to this point; impelled as it were thereto from his being more abundantly pressed in spirit, concerning the matter which he had so long in debate with himself; which was now, every day, more plain to him. He therefore applied with all diligence to what he judged the most suitable studies; in which he spent the greatest part of his waking hours. The word of life had however, the chief share of his attention. He made this his one, favourite study and delight, from this time especially, till he could work no longer.

He read it much upon his knees, in the spirit of prayer. The following is a specimen only, of his continued practice, “Lord Jesus, I lay my soul at thy feet to be taught and governed by thee. Take the veil from the mystery, and shew me the truth as it is in thyself. Be thou my sun and star, by day and by night!” This was the way in which he sought for wisdom to win souls, and by which his profiting so visibly appeared to all men.

His increasing knowledge in the things of God, was an additional confirmation to him, of the divine appointment concerning him. The hidden treasures, and depth of truth in God’s word; his mysterious wisdom in the methods of salvation, were every day, more and more clearly revealed to him. The sealed book was now opened, and thereby, through the assistance of the Spirit of truth, his judgment grew clearer, and stronger, in the fundamental doctrines of repentance, justification and holiness. He professes that, if at any time he was in doubt concerning any point of doctrine, or the sense of any passage of scripture, his divine instructor convinced him, that either it was not needful for him to know it then; or if it was, directed him, either immediately by himself, through some divine impression, or the providential provision of some person or book, whereby his doubts were always solved.

The concern which he felt for the salvation of his neighbour still increased upon him, and a burning desire that every body might be as happy in the Lord Jesus, as he felt himself, engrossed all his thoughts. “The Spirit of God (says he) now convinced me clearly, not only of sin and of righteousness in my own soul, but likewise, how the work of conversion is to be carried on in the souls of others. I was athirst for divine knowledge. I desired to be ever in the school of Christ, learning the lessons of his grace. The glory of the Lord often passed before me in prayer, and the light of eternity shone upon my soul, while my Lord fed me as with marrow and fatness!”

CHAPTER XII.

He begins to preach.

W  HAT he had done hitherto, with reference to the conversion of souls, was only as necessity obliged him. The peace, and perfection of his own soul, being his main object of concern, till providence, having designed him for the ministry of the gospel, put him upon more extensive measures for promoting the kingdom of Christ.

He began to consider more nearly, that souls having cost our Saviour so dear, nothing could be done more acceptable to him than to prevent their loss; and that the glory of God’s majesty, did most shine in the salvation of sinners purchased with the blood of his Son. These considerations kindled in him such love to mankind, that he could no longer refrain from exhorting, first his Christian brethren, with all fervour, to devote their hearts without reserve to God; and next, every soul with whom he had any sort of intercourse. His heart bled for poor careless sinners against God, and their own souls. The word of the Lord was in him, so that he could not but speak. He knew not how to forbear publishing as on the house top, that infinite love which dealt so graciously with himself. “It is not enough that I serve our Lord: all hearts must love him, and all tongues must praise him!”

God touched his heart in such a manner as to leave no doubt whether this appointment was from heaven; and the concurrence of outward providences confirmed his internal persuasion. Thus, freed from all farther wavering and irresolution, he entered upon that employment, which he verily believed, he would wish he had done at the hour of death, and in the day of judgment.

Desirous therefore to exercise his Lord’s talent, and the time affording a providential provision for it, even out of the ordinary way; he took the opportunity of his present connexions, and without looking farther, pursued the following measures. “I opened, (says he) my mind to that man of God, the Rev. Mr. John Wesley. I spoke my thoughts freely, and without disguise, desiring his advice on the occasion; which he sweetly and humbly gave me: adding withal, that I might write to him afterwards. I did so, giving him a brief account of my conversion to God, and of what I experienced in my soul concerning preaching. His answer was as follows,

“My dear brother,

“It is hard to judge what God has called you to, till trial is made. Therefore when you have an opportunity, you may go to Shronil, and spend two or three days with the people there. Speak to them in Irish.”

Shronil is a village in the county of Tipperary, distant from the place he then resided at New-Market, about thirty English miles. The inhabitants, many of whom were Protestant Dissenters, had sometime before gladly received the word of God from the Methodists. Thither he went, accompanied by one of his own brothers, and another of his Christian brethren; having been commended to the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, by the earnest prayers of several of the children of God. “We walked it, (says he) and gave ourselves to prayer, conversing of the things of the kingdom of heaven, and exhorting those we met with in the way to fear the Lord, and depart from evil.”

They arrived there the next day, which was in July 1750. The brethren received them kindly in the Lord, though they were unknown to them by face. And having had knowledge of his errand, and informed their neighbours, there assembled in the evening, a considerable congregation, to whom, for the first time, he preached the word of God, choosing for his text, the words of St. Paul, Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.

He did so again the next morning, on Being justified by faith, we have peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, (Romans v. 1.) and in like manner, morning and evening, during the few days he stayed among them.

And the Lord bore testimony to the word of his grace. For although some, (as has always been the case,) contradicted and mocked, yet others were deeply affected, and some were turned to the Lord, “So gracious was God (as he adds) to own the labour of his poor creature, and to bless the word of his weakest and meanest messenger. Not unto me, but unto thy name be the glory! O God, thou hast done the work. Thou didst give the word, and didst also apply it; for thou only canst turn the hearts of the disobedient to the wisdom of the just. O my God, stand by me still; and as hitherto thou hast helped me, never leave nor forsake me: but keep my soul in peace, and give me a humble, and a meek spirit. Let me labour diligently in thy vineyard, and spend my life and strength in the labour of love. Amen, Lord Jesus!”

Thus have we brought to a conclusion what was proposed in this first part; having seen him from his youth, through the various travels of his soul, the whole process of his conversion, till his heart being at liberty, he began to publish the voice of wisdom to all around him. It remains, to give some account of his labours, trials, and success in the Lord’s work, together with the general tenor of his experience, till God was pleased to call him hence.

PART II.

CHAPTER I.

Of his entire application to preaching the gospel.

I  T being now, no longer matter of doubt, what the will of God was concerning him; trial having been made, and the fruit answering to the design, he resolved to defer no longer, stirring up the gift of God which was in him. Setting aside therefore every other concern, and employment, he devoted himself entirely to the work of which he believed God had assigned him. He set out with a resolution to give himself up wholly to the dictates of the Holy Ghost, and to be ready to go what way soever the voice of heaven should call him. And that his understanding might not be dissipated, and scattered upon divers objects, and so have less force to enter deep into the things of God, he began his work with applying himself altogether to the study of the holy scriptures, and to prayer. And the proficiency which by those means he made daily, in the wisdom that is from above, quickly appeared. He truly laboured in the word, and faithfully and fervently enforced the divine truths he learned there from. His soul became strangely enlarged in labours of love for the salvation of his neighbour; while he imparted to them abundantly what God had so richly, and so freely bestowed upon him.

The words of our Lord Jesus Christ were in general exceeding precious to him; and from his first acquaintance with them, his whole delight and his counsellors. The whole of his following conduct to his death, seemed influenced by those words of Christ (applicable to all real Christians) Ye are the salt of the earth. Ye are the light of the world. A city set upon an hill cannot be hid: neither do men (much less God) light a candle, to put it under a bushel, that is, hide it; but on a candlestick, that it may give light to all about it.

And now, the divine providence concurring with his convictions and inclination, made his way clear, to put into execution what he had been so long deliberating upon. Conferring therefore no longer with flesh and blood, and resolving to deny himself, and take up his cross to follow Jesus, he bid farewel to his kindred, and to his acquaintance in general. Choosing the Lord for his sole portion, he literally left all, and went out into the wide world, entirely unanxious about what he should eat, or what he should drink, or wherewithal he should be cloathed, being fully persuaded, that an entire reliance on God was all things. He went to spend his life in beseeching sinners to be reconciled to God. Thus,

“By Christ himself ordain’d and sent,

An herald of redeeming grace,

Eager to the highways he went,

And fill’d the land with Jesu’s praise!”

This was about the latter end of August 1750, when going from the place of his nativity to Limerick, he had daily opportunity of publishing those glad tidings, which he first heard in that city, and which became the power of God to his salvation. At first, he commonly expounded the scriptures every morning: and after a little while, both evening and morning, with much earnestness exhorted and besought multitudes, who attended his discourses, to seek the Lord while he may be found.

And it pleased God immediately to bear testimony to the word of his grace by him. Several persons who heard him, and who, till then, had been careless and utterly unconcerned about the matter, became seriously concerned for their salvation; while in the mean time others, who had been deeply distressed with the guilt of sin, felt his word, the power of God unto salvation.

He was about this time called to bear reproach for his work’s sake. The minds of some persons became evil affected towards him. The interests of the God of this world, had already suffered loss by his zeal, and unwearied diligence, and they were in danger of suffering yet more. Satan therefore by every means endeavoured to prevent the fruit of his labours.

His unpolished youth; his roughness both of address and dialect, owing partly to natural temper, partly to having been brought up much in the country, and partly to his having been formerly of the church of Rome¹; but more than all, his being a native of that neighbourhood, gave some persons occasion for being deeply offended at him, who expressed it by their unkind, and uncivil treatment towards him. This I had from some of the persons themselves, a considerable time after, who mentioned it to their own reproach, that he, whom then they so loved and honoured was nevertheless, once the object of their scorn.

¹ There is in some parts of Ireland a very remarkable difference between the dialect of the Protestants, and Romanists, even of the same county or parish. What is called the brogue, in its excess is a sort of Shibboleth for the latter; and among the younger sort of Protestants especially, a term of reproach. I remember it was a very common objection to him, when he preached first in the town of my nativity.

But as he sought not his own things, neither strove to please man, having in view only the glory of God, and the good of souls, this did not in the least damp his fervour, or retard his progress. As he saw daily the fruit of his labours, so he was not to be hindered, or discouraged by any treatment of himself; rather he rejoiced in contempt for his master’s sake.

He had put his hand to the plough (Luke ix. 62.) and having counted the cost, settled it in his heart not to look back. He waxed still stronger, and grew every day more mighty in the scriptures, and in conformity to our Lord, as well as more instrumental in bringing others acquainted with the only true God, and our Saviour Jesus Christ.

There are many instances of the good effects of these his first labours. It plainly appeared that the word of God in his mouth was attended with the power of the Holy Ghost. It was not an uncommon case, for persons to be so penetrated by his fervent discourses, as to resolve not to leave the place, till they should find rest in their souls, and the instances were not a few, to whom the God of love condescended even in this particular by sending then the Spirit of adoption into their hearts, testifying Thy sins are forgiven; and enabling them to cry Abba Father.

His time was now wholly taken up in searching, expounding, and enforcing the scriptures, which he did both in public and in private; and prayer, visiting the sick, and whatsoever other particular employments occasional, or stated, had any relation to his one purpose of spending, and being spent in the service of his master. And having been thus employed at Limerick for some time, it was judged expedient, that he should go and preach the gospel in other places also.

CHAPTER II.

He goes into the provinces of Leinster and Connought and preaches the word there.

H  IS way into those parts had, in some degree, been prepared before him: many having received that gospel, which he preached from others of his brethren. He followed them flaming with desire for the salvation of souls, and with zeal for the glory of his master. By this stripling many stout-hearted Goliah’s were reduced to the obedience of Christ.

His labours now, were greater than he had hitherto known; for beside preaching always twice, and sometimes thrice a day, he often travelled many miles between. But it was rendered pleasant to him, doing it heartily as to the Lord. Where love is, there is no labour, and if there be labour, the labour is loved. Yes, it carries a burden without a burden. His endeavours were crown’d with much success. Multitudes of people of all denominations attended his preaching, wherever he came; so that in a little time he was generally known all around the country.

Now therefore did the God of this world stir up his emissaries. He has been sometimes waylaid in his journey, and escaped their hands, only by remarkable interpositions of divine providence. It may be tedious to enumerate all the instances. The following I set down abridged from his journal.

“Thursday, January 4, 1750. With much weakness of body, I preached this morning, and soon after set out for Rosgrea. About a mile from the town I met a large company armed with clubs. Seventy-eight men were sworn upon the occasion. At the first sight of them I was a little daunted; but I prayed to the Lord for direction, and was strengthened. They compelled me to alight, saying, They would bring a minister of the church of England and a Romish priest to talk with me. I let them know, I preached not against any particular church, but against sin and wickedness in all. I said, supposing three persons among you of different denominations; it may be a Churchman, a Quaker, and Papist, sitting down and drinking to excess, begin to dispute, each affirming, that his was the best religion: where is the religion of all these men? Surely they are without any, unless it be that of Belial. They are of their father the devil, while his works they do.”

“After some further discourse on the design of my coming to preach to them, and appealing to themselves concerning the necessity of it, their rage seemed abated, and then told me, they would let me go on condition that I would swear never more to come to Rosgrea. But when I resolutely refused this, they consulted on rougher measures; and after much debate, were determined to put me into a well, which they had prepared for that purpose. They hurried me away into the town, where I was surrounded as by so many human wolves. They held a consultation again, and resolved either to make me swear, or to put me into the well. But I refused either to swear or promise. Some then cried vehemently ‘Put him in,’ but others as positively said, ‘They should not.’

“After some time the parish minister came, who behaved well, and desired I might be set at liberty. They consented, provided I would go out of town immediately. From an inn, where they confined me, they brought me out into the street, and it being market-day, I began to preach to the people. But taking me by the back, they hurl’d me before them out of town. At length I got on horseback, and taking off my hat, I prayed for them some considerable time. I then called upon them in the name of God, for Christ’s sake, to repent; and told them, as to myself, in the cause of God, I feared neither devils nor men; that to do their souls good was my sole motive of coming among them, and that if God permitted, they might put me in the well, or stone me; be it how it would, I was content.”

“I came off from them at length in peace of conscience, and serenity of mind. From the first of it to the last, I was not the least disturbed, nor stirred in anger or malice towards them. O God, it is thou alone that hast wrought this deliverance for me.”

He abode in those parts for some months, and went through both evil and good report. While going about daily, he endeavoured, by all means the conversion of their souls. He often wanted proper necessaries for his body, and much impaired his health, through the greatness of his fatigues. But this by no means dampt the concern which he felt for perishing sinners, great numbers of whom were present to his view wherever he came. A desire of being instrumental towards opening their eyes, and turning them to God, brought him among them; nor could any personal inconveniences alter his purpose, till providence directed his way elsewhere.

CHAPTER III.

Some farther account of the trouble he met with on account of preaching the gospel.

O  UR Saviour, said of his kingdom, If it were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered into your hands. Satan on the contrary, is said to be the prince, and god of this world. And how numerous are his poor vassals! When therefore his servants perceive their master’s kingdom in danger, they do fight, lest it should be subjected to its rightful Lord.

And hence only can be accounted for that opposition, which this servant of Christ, burning with desire to promote his kingdom, met with among most denominations of Christians, so called, wherever he came. Some, it is true, in almost every place, received the word gladly; while others not only did not regard it, but treated him with unkindness, even to abusive language, blows, or imprisonment.

The following instance, and which was the occasion of my first knowledge of him, happened in the town of my nativity, about twenty miles from the city of Cork.

At the repeated request of some of the inhabitants, he went thither accompanied by a few friends from the town of Bandon, June 11, 1752. The magistrate, who was also rector of the parish, the Rev. Mr. William Ellis, was applied to for the use of the market-house; which being refused, it was proposed, that he should preach at a small distance from the town. Thither he went accompanied by multitudes to whom, under the canopy of heaven, near a spacious strand, and shaded by a spreading tree, he affectionately declared the gospel of the grace of God.

By the time he had got to the place appointed, the magistrate, had sent his serjeants to forbid him preaching, “But being (to use his own words) of the opinion, that it was better to obey God than man,” he stept up upon a table prepared for that purpose, and immediately opening his little bible read to them, Job xxi. 3. Suffer me that I may speak, and after that I have spoken, mock on. The seasonable singularity of the text, so excited their attention, that they permitted him to finish quietly.

The word was with power. Several faces were turned to paleness and wet with tears, while he urged it home upon the conscience, that our sins were the betrayers and murderers of the Son of God.

On his return into the town, he was seized by the officers, and brought before the magistrate, followed by an astonished multitude. Being asked many and various questions concerning this way, he answered fully, and without fear. The conversation lasted near an hour, in which he largely explained himself, giving the reasons of his conduct; and alledging in its behalf, precedents both from scripture and from antiquity.

But Mr. Ellis, having predetermined what he would do, was not to be moved by arguments. He therefore let him know, that unless he would promise to preach no more in this way, at least not in those parts, he should be committed to prison without delay. He replied, “That as he had been so earnestly importuned to come there, he could not, in conscience, promise not to come;” and asked, “Are there no swearers, drunkards, sabbath-breakers, and the like, in those parts?” Being answered, “There are.” He added, that if after he had preached there a few times, there appeared to be no reformation among them, he would never come thither more. But this not satisfying, he was ordered to prison. He went thither with all readiness, and esteemed it matter of thanksgiving, that his Lord counted him worthy, to suffer reproach for his name’s-sake.

Several persons accompanied him into the prison, where, he, with his friends, sang praises to God, and exhorted the people. The street was crouded, some saying one thing, and some another; in general however, they were displeased at his confinement; and almost the whole town seemed concerned in his behalf. He still (as far as his voice would reach) preached to them thro’ the window.

The inhabitants shewed the utmost civility towards him; and not knowing how long he might be confined, provided bedding and provision for him and his companions. But it was not long before the magistrate sent to let him go. Coming out, and seeing such a number of people, he would fain, have preached to them; but was dissuaded by his friends. He then went to a private room, and exhorted till ten o’clock, as many as came to him.

He went thither twice afterwards, and tho’ with much contradiction, preached to them that gospel, which is the power of God unto salvation. His endeavours were not all lost. There are to this hour some of the fruit of his labours in that place; persons to whom, because of the blessing which God made him to their souls, his memory will be ever precious.

The following instance happened in the north of Ireland, some time after, at a place called New-Town, whether he went on the Lord’s day.

At the desire of several persons, he intended to have preached in a place called the Church Green, where were assembled, a large company to hear him. But while his hands were lifted up in prayer, there came one Mr. Mortimer, a presbyterian, and with him several hundred persons, who taking hold of him by the breast, pulled him with violence to the ground. They hauled him thro’ the mob, and had well nigh choaked him, when one Mr. Biers freed him from the hands of him who held him. But for this he was soon struck to the ground himself.

Being got free, it grieved him exceedingly to see such a willing multitude disappointed; so he went to a place at some distance from the former. But here likewise, by the time he had begun, the same persons pursued him. Perceiving therefore that it was vain to attempt preaching, he retired to a little house in a garden, at some small distance. But neither here could he be at rest; the mob followed, and to avoid their fury, he was obliged to wade thro’ wet meadows, and then climb over the mountains, till ‘wet and weary, we (he had one person with him) came to the house of one Mr. Ambey, who supplied us with all we wanted.’ His tender, broken constitution could not however, endure this fatigue, without feeling its effects. He was obliged in a few days to take to his bed, where a fever confined him for some time.

It need not be dissembled, that the authors of this outrage towards a stranger, chargeable with no crime save that of endeavouring to save souls from death, were a company of Presbyterians! But alas! what are names? “Liberty of conscience, and right of private judgement,” are good and specious words. But how reconcilable they are to such conduct as this let all the world judge.

The state of his heart, on that occasion, he expresses thus. “In the midst of it all, my mind was calm. I had no remarkable consolation, or fear, or sorrow. I prayed for them, and do still pray God to forgive them, and not lay this sin to their charge.”

I pass over a number of other instances of the opposition he met with, of a private as well as public nature; and only mention these, as a specimen of the malice which Satan bears to God’s kingdom, and servants.

CHAPTER IV.

A short account of the endeavours of the Romish clergy, to prevent his usefulness among their people. The means he made use of to instruct them, and the success which he met with therein.

N  OTWITHSTANDING the strict laws which are in force, to prevent the propagation of Popery in these kingdoms, and to restrain the attempts of Romish priests and jesuits; it is no secret, that both in Ireland and England, their endeavours, are as unwearied as ever. They compass sea and land all round the globe, and hardly stick at any thing that may contribute towards their making proselytes.

The endeavours of this servant of Christ, to convert to him members of that communion, stirred up their clergy against him wherever he came. His name was well known in all their churches; and in whatsoever place there appeared but a probability of his coming, the priests took care, to render him as obnoxious to the people as they possibly could; insomuch, that they stuck at nothing, though never so false, to compass their end. They however carefully avoided his having opportunity to talk with themselves. I do not find that from the time of his leaving their communion, he had ever any settled personal interviews with them, although for the sake of their poor ignorant people, for whom he had the tenderest compassion, he has frequently desired it; sometimes even in public. One ♦occasional conversation only, with one of their priests, on board a ship, in a passage from England to Dublin, he relates, as follows, “We discoursed on the following particulars. 1. The Pope’s infallibility. 2. Transubstantiation. 3. Invocation of saints. 4. Purgatory. But he could not withstand the force of plain scripture, and therefore withdrew. The company were greatly pleased to find, how little the Romish clergy have to say for themselves, when opposed by arguments taken from scripture and reason.”

♦ “occcasional” replaced with “occasional”

In one place, (C——l) the priest informed his congregation, (to such low shifts were they driven) and industriously spread abroad, “that he had been a servant boy to a certain priest, and that having stolen his master’s books, he learned to preach by that means.”

The conduct of another of them at Cork, was still more extraordinary. There was in that place a vast resort of Catholics (so called) to his sermons, which were often under the open firmament, as well as daily within doors, both in Irish and English; and among the Romanists, who were happily stirred up thereby to a concern for their salvation, there was one elderly woman, who had been in some religious office among them. She entirely forsook their communion, constantly attended his sermons, and thenceforward, received the Lord’s supper in the church of England.

The Romish priests became strangely irritated, and laboured vehemently to stop the growing evil; to which end, one of them affirmed to the people, that “As to that Walsh, who had some time before turned heretic, and went about preaching, he had been dead long ago: and that he, who then preached in this manner, was but the devil in his shape.”

But their endeavours, proved in great measure ineffectual; for, however a few persons might receive ill impressions from such insinuations; yet several of their communion in many places heard him gladly, and would not be hindered therefrom. Rather, the more the priests urged them, they prevailed the less. His labours, and prayers, and tears, for their poor straying souls, over whom his bowels so often yearned, had, on many the desired effect; being thereby, not only reformed from Popery, but really converted to God.

Of the common natives of Ireland, it has been frequently observed, that of all the natives of the globe, there are none who exceed them for hospitality, good nature, and susceptibility of religious impressions. It might well therefore, occasion the ‘yearning of the bowels’ of this lover of souls, to see such multitudes of them detained in total ignorance by their priests, to whom they pay the most implicit obedience.

*And hence it was, that from the beginning of the concern which he felt for his own soul, he set himself, by all possible means to turn them from darkness to light. And whither in the highways, at inns, in the city or country, he let slip no probable means of instructing them. One circumstance which is much more common in Ireland than England, I mean the number of street beggars, furnished him with frequent opportunities of this kind.

His manner of addressing them was easy and familiar: talking to them always in a stile suited to their capacity and prejudices. He avoided entirely the difference of churches, and all matter of dispute, speaking only of the dreadful evil of sin, the great affairs of eternal life, and eternal death, of judgment, and of the sufferings and sacrifice of the Son of God. And his discourses had often such immediate effect, that falling on their knees, and smiting their breasts, they have wept, and cried for mercy, in the open streets. He always concluded his instructions with giving them money, if he had it, which indeed was not always the case.

It would be tedious to enumerate all the conversations, and various intercourses which he had with members of that communion, and the good effects which were produced by them. Two or three only, may be related from his own accounts.

“This day —— came to my room. I asked him, how he hoped to be saved? And having talked together in Irish for some time, he became greatly affected, and said, ‘I have saved some money to leave to some Priest or Friar when I die, in order to procure me the forgiveness of my sins, and I am willing to leave it to you, if you will accept of it.’ I told him, that no man could forgive his sins; that the gift of God was not to be purchased with money; and that only the blood of Christ, our great High-priest, could cleanse from sin. He was deeply wounded, and cried earnestly to God, to whom, after prayer I commended him.”

At another time he writes, “A poor woman, a papist, came to my room, desirous of salvation. I prayed with her in Irish. She frequently fell on her knees and cried for mercy, resolving no more to regard the priest’s curses, but to seek her salvation according as the word of God directs.”

Again, “Being on a journey, where I breakfasted (it was a Romanist’s) I reproved the landlord for swearing, and talked to all who were present. I exhorted likewise a woman at the door, to seek from God, repentance and salvation. She cried with amaze! To the blessed Virgin, and to the twelve apostles to help her. But I taught her to direct her prayers to God the Father, through the Lord Jesus Christ.”

*Beside his frequent occasional conversations with them, he went to as many of their own houses as he could get admittance, where he regarded the children and servants, even as the masters and mistresses.

But what most of all contributed to the success of his attempts for their good, was his public preaching, to which great numbers of them frequently resorted, wherever he came; induced thereto, chiefly by his preaching in Irish, and such things as they easily understood. There is in the Irish language a peculiarly affecting expressiveness, particularly with respect to the things of God; which, being pressed home upon the conscience, by his zealous and alarming way of preaching, often left them bathed in tears. I saw a very remarkable instance of this in the town of my nativity; preaching there on a market-day, many of the country people running with surprize to hear him, smote their breasts and wept, in such a manner as was entirely new to them, some affirming, that they could go all over the world with him! It may be truly said, he seldom preached a sermon in Irish, from which some of them did not receive advantage. He briefly mentions a few instances himself, as follows,

“After preaching both in Irish and English, a poor papist woman came to me, saying, ‘She came for instruction; for that as she was a poor woman, she could not have it elsewhere, and she wanted to save her soul.’ I told her, that all which was in my power, I would do for her willingly. She wept, and I prayed with her, pointing her for all her soul wanted, to Jesus, who alone is the way, the truth, and the life.”

*Again, “January 4, 1751. My soul was delighted to see with what earnestness the poor Irish, (meaning the Romanists) received the word, being in general deeply affected. O how did they weep, and cry for mercy! May God hear their prayer. Surely this people will rise up in judgment against Protestants, who having the light of the gospel, either neglect or despise it. And also against the pastors of this ignorant people, who hold them in error. O, what have the Romish clergy to answer for before God!”

“April, 1751. Many of them professed after preaching, that they received more benefit from that one sermon, than from all the masses they had attended during their whole life.”

At another time preaching concerning the good Samaritan (Luke x. 30.) “Two members of the church of Rome were deeply convinced of their want of a Saviour, and thirty-four persons joined themselves together, to seek and serve the Lord.”

“Friday, May 8. I conversed with a woman who was formerly of the church of England, but had been seduced by the Romish priests. She was convinced of her error and returned. To God be the glory.”

“After preaching on John i. 17. Sinners cried out mightily. One came confessing her deeds and said, She had lived an adultress, worse than Mary Magdalen; she wept, trembled and roared aloud.”

The circumstance of his preaching and speaking in Irish, (a thing that multitudes, at least of protestants in Ireland cannot do) next to the singular blessing of God upon his labours, contributed most to the success of his endeavours. Though it is observable that when he preached one day in Irish, on Oxmon-Town-Green in Dublin, among those who were affected by the discourse, there was one man cut to the heart, although he did not, at all understand the language.

In a journey once between Cork and Bandon, he fell into conversation with a man who rode some miles with him, till as was his constant manner, he began to apply something to his heart, concerning the worth of his soul, and the way of salvation. But he favouring not the things of God, became ♦grievously offended. “His prejudice in short ran so high, that he declared, although he were shot for it, he would have satisfaction; adding with an oath, thou shalt never deceive another, for I am resolved to be the death of you just now.”

♦ “grievosly” replaced with “grievously”

“I was quiet in my mind, being persuaded that the God of Daniel was still the same, I did not feel the least anger, or rising of revenge towards him; and still reproved him whenever he swore. In the midst of his rage I reproved him in Irish. He was instantly amazed; and replied, ‘Why did you not speak so to me in the beginning?’ The lion became a lamb, and I then let him know still speaking in Irish, what Christ had done for sinners. He departed with a broken heart.”

When some of them once followed him after preaching, desirous of instruction. “I told them (says he) as to religion that it was not a bare profession that would avail any one.—That the true way, was to forsake sin and follow Christ; and that in order thereto, it was needful that a person should, 1st. Be poor in spirit; feel that he is a sinner. 2dly, Mourn on that account with a broken and contrite heart. 3dly, Forsake sin by applying to the Lord for strength. 4thly, Believe in Christ, and him only for salvation; as it is his blood alone, that cleanseth from all unrighteousness: and 5thly, Obey the gospel by conforming to the rules there laid down; living soberly, righteously, and godly in the present world.”

This was the sum of what he taught them from time to time, as the way of salvation, which, explained and enforced by the holy scriptures, he opposed to every other device, or tradition of men. And so zealously concerned was he for enforcing these truths wherever he came, that to one, amidst a great number of Romanists, whose attention some endeavoured to hinder, he said, “If my doctrine be not according to the word of God, stone me on the spot. Make a sacrifice of me: only hear for yourselves.”

“O that God would call them to the knowledge of the gospel of peace, and open to them a door of salvation. Open Lord the eyes of their priests. Remember the purchase of thy blood, nor suffer those poor souls to perish, for whom Christ hath died.”

CHAPTER V.

He goes to England and labours there.

T  HE enlargement of soul, with which it pleased God to bless him, left no bounds to his desires, of spreading the favour of the knowledge of Jesus, in every place: and his providential connexions, afforded him a large sphere of action. The people with whom he was more immediately united, and who were, according to the divine disposals, the instruments of his salvation, had now, through the blessing of heaven, spread the joyful sound, well nigh all over England, and Ireland. And hence arose a necessity for many labourers.

It was therefore judged expedient that, (having been successfully employed between two and three years in his native country) he should go to England likewise: to which only the conviction of its being the will of God, could have ♦reconciled him; feeling what was natural on the occasion, “A struggle within himself on leaving his friends and country.”

♦ “reciled” replaced with “reconciled”

May 10. 1753. He embarked at Dublin with some other friends, and the next day arrived at Park-gate. Concerning this voyage, and his arrival in England, he writes as follows. “There were on board several gentry, and officers, with a large number of cabbin passengers. They cursed, swore, and blasphemed as though they were in hell. I reproved them again and again; but they still persisted, and said I was mad. O God, if there never was any other damnation in the world to come, than the company of such wretches, who would not flee from it.”

London was the place where he was appointed chiefly to labour. He arrived there the 31st of May 1753, and preached his first sermon from 1 John ii. 1.

And now did he, more vigourously than ever, apply himself, both in public and in private, to the labour of his calling; resolving, in a place of such dangers, to make the best use of both. He found himself in the midst of a numerous and well instructed people, many of whom were deeply experienced in the things of God. This was to him matter of great joy, though at the same time of much carefulness, knowing, that in order to be truly profitable to them, a superficial acquaintance with things would but ill suffice. He therefore laboured to be a scribe well instructed; to be deeply and judiciously informed, in things pertaining to the kingdom of God. It was his daily and nightly study, how he might best contribute his part towards the feeding them with the sincere milk of the word, and the building them up in their most holy faith.

But neither did he here intermit his endeavours, for the salvation of his poor ignorant countrymen, (of whom great numbers, of the lower sort are constantly employed in London) still detained in that darkness, from which he had so happily escaped himself. He therefore appointed times for explaining to as many of them as would hear, the first principles of the doctrine of Christ; and preached several times in Irish, in Moor-fields, and elsewhere; endeavouring likewise, to have as many private interviews with them as he possibly could.

It was here he first formed to himself a more exact plan for the improvement of his time, with respect to his public and private capacity, as a preacher, and a christian, assigning determinate portions of it to certain employments, which unless when necessity required otherwise, he punctually observed. He preached constantly twice a day, and visited many people in their families; besides frequent attendance on the sick, and dying; from some of whom, he was rarely a day absent.

The abilities with which God had endowed him, and his faithful improvement of them, considerably encreased his work; for it seemed good to those, whom the divine wisdom had honoured, with the over sight, of a multitude of persons here, in their absence, to intrust him with that branch of their work. His exactness and submissive faithfulness therein, appeared in many and various particulars, of which a part only may be gathered from the following letter to the Rev. Mr. John Wesley.

“Honoured Sir,

“I Thank you for your letter. I longed exceedingly to hear from you.——Your account of the good woman in your Journal was refreshing to my soul. What I have to say is as follows,”

1. “Mr. Wesley is gone to Bristol. He met us on Monday mornings, and upon the whole, all was well. We parted much in love. 2. Mr. F—— goes on well. I converse with him when I can. 3. The Lord is powerfully carrying on his work. Sinners are alarmed, and saints edified. This day in visiting the sick, my soul was greatly comforted, by hearing of God’s dealings with their souls.

“On Monday I begin to change the tickets. God give me integrity, wisdom, meekness, and love. I think, considering these particulars, I cannot leave London yet. It seems providence keeps me here still.

“You have the prayers of your children. I don’t forget you. A son honoureth his father, and a father loveth his son. Let it be so till death, and the devil can get little advantage. Your preaching has been often, and exceedingly blest to my soul. My heart’s desire, and prayer to God is, that the Lord would make me partaker of his holiness.

“Dear Sir, I trust your soul will, in time, and in eternity, partake of that great salvation, you have preached in the name of the Lord. O may it please God, that we may meet full of holy and happy love! I feel my soul this moment strongly drawn after God; but there is yet something that keeps me out of perfect rest and liberty. Jesus, take my whole heart! Confound, overpower me with thy grace. Requesting your prayers and counsel, I remain,

“Your very affectionate son,

Thomas Walsh.”

London, April 30.

His advancement in divine knowledge, and in the divine life, while he remained here, became more and more visible. The fruit of his public ministry was likewise still more discernible; and the general tenor of his conduct was acceptable to the people. They had abundant evidence of his devotedness to God, and of his truly serving as a son in the gospel. He was generally blest to all kinds of hearers. His discourses were always of an awakening nature, entering into the very heart; and singularly calculated to assist, such as were ardently seeking after perfect love, (1 John iv. 17, 18.) and hereby, through the divine blessing, he became instrumental to such a revival of the work of God, as had not been known, as to its depth, from the first union of that society. Nor are there a few in London, who bless God that ever they heard his voice.

Thus did he spend the time of his abode in England, spreading the favour of his good ointment all around him, and by his example, as well as preaching, pressing every one to make sure work for eternity. He perceived clearly, it was the good providence of God which prepared his way, and directed him hither. He came from Ireland to London, three several times; the last of which the longest time of his continuing there, (about two years,) and the most profitable both to himself and to others. And here especially it was, that through his great and incessant labours; his unwearied application to private study and public ministrations, he laid the foundation of that disorder, which at length, removed him to another world.

CHAPTER VI.

His love to souls, and zeal for promoting the glory of God.

S  OME account of his endeavours for the salvation of his neighbour, has already been given. But this being so considerable a part of his character, deserves a more full consideration: though it cannot be told, of how many and various expedients he served himself for the conversion of sinners.

He watched every opportunity; and was literally instant in season, out of season; that is continually, at all times and places, seeking how he might best accomplish the end, for which alone he desired to live.

The intenseness of his desire, and his application to this one thing, kept him continually as on the wing, spending, and being spent in this behalf; regarding neither reproach, pain, loss, nor death itself. “I have, said he, but one life, and it is a hard case if I cannot readily lose that for his sake, who gave his life a ransom for mine, and for the life of the world. My heart bleeds for the world which lieth in the wicked one.”

It was owing to this likewise, that he embraced every possible opportunity of crying aloud, in the most conspicuous places of public resort, and of enforcing the voice of wisdom, saying, How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity, and scorners delight in scorning, and fools hate knowledge! Turn ye at my reproof; behold I will pour out my Spirit upon you, I will make known my words unto you.

*Mountains, market-places, highways, meadows, rooms, prisons, and ships, were the frequent theatres of his publishing the gospel of peace. And herein there appeared in him something next to marvellous, being a living fire, continually burning in the love of God and man; still mounting upwards, and kindling all that were capable about him; as prone to fervour and activity, as some are to cold and indolence. He was never weary of well-doing, nor ever spoke slightly, and with indifferent affection of the great God, and of the things of religion; but with a seriousness and reverence, becoming one who by faith saw the Invisible, and looked to be shortly with him!

*He was in truth a mighty adversary to the devil’s kingdom, and took every possible step, which he judged might, in any measure, promote the honour of God, to whose sole glory he sacrificed himself, with all his labours and studies. It is scarcely possible to enable a stranger to him to conceive, the flow of his soul, and energy of his spirit and expressions on these occasions; while he endeavoured by all means to save some. To this end, he truly imparted, not the gospel of God only, but likewise his own soul. It was this noble object which raised him above, even that attention to his body, which it required. It was truly said of him,

He scorn’d his feeble flesh to spare,

Regardless of its swift decline;

His single aim, his ceaseless prayer

To spread the righteousness divine:

He truly triumphed in the cross,

Its prints as on his body shew’d,

Lavish of life for Jesu’s cause,

Whose blood for all so freely flow’d.

The fire which burned in his heart never said “It is enough.” And the success with which it pleased our Lord to prosper his labours, was a constant motive to his going forward. His designs of doing good were without limits, esteeming himself a debtor to all, and embracing in affection, not less than the whole world.

Riding through Wales and finding that, in many places they did not understand English, he felt great concern on the occasion, and formed a resolution, if his life and health permitted, to learn the Welch language.

And it was given him not only to believe, and therefore to speak for God; but also to suffer for his cause. But he rejoiced in his sufferings, and filled up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in his flesh.

Meantime the end, which he still kept in view, together with his frequent reflections, on the love of Jesus; the danger of sinners dying without conversion; and the present salvation to which they are entitled, thro’ the blood of the Lamb: made him more than superior to every thing which, either men, or the malice of Satan could invent against, or inflict upon him.

His warm heart and fervent courage, feared no danger in the discharge of his duty, being well assured that walking uprightly, he walked surely. He dreaded not the faces of men, but where occasion offered, boldly reproved what he saw amiss in every one. Wherever there appeared any probability of his doing good, he was never hindered by the prospect of danger.

In one place, having preached to a vast number of Romanists and others, and a prospect appearing of doing much good, he intended, to go again: but a report prevailed that if he attempted it; a great man would either have him stoned, or sent to jail. On this occasion “I reflected (says he) what God had done in former times for those who put their trust in him. And he gave me strength according to my day. I found my faith in him greatly strengthened, and resolved, simply to rely on his protection; not doubting but that he would stand by me. So I went thither and preached in the name of the Lord.

“The fear of man prevented their giving me entrance into their houses as before; so I stood on a chair in the street, and thanked God for the privilege. They received the word without disturbance, and with joy. On my return I prayed at two houses in the way, and the power of God was greatly in the midst of us. Praised be God, and the Lamb for ever!”

His labours were indeed much beyond his strength; and his zeal would not suffer him to stand still: so that his friends were obliged sometimes (as Origen’s mother, to prevent her young son’s burning with his father) to hide his cloaths, or lock him in his room in the morning.

*His whole conversation was like fire, warming, refreshing, and comforting all that were about him, and begetting in their souls a measure of the same zeal for the glory of God, and the salvation of sinners which burned in his own breast. It was not possible to be much with him, and not to hear discourses which bred a detestation of sin, and a love of holiness. To what purpose is it to live (seemed the motto of his life) and not to live to some good purpose?

His endeavours to do good, extended to children also. He first, introduced in many places the custom of meeting weekly, such of them as could attend, in order to instruct them in such truths, as their capacity admitted of. In doing this he desired their parents might be present likewise, to whom his affecting manner of address was not less serviceable, than to the children.

While in London, he had several interviews with the Jews, frequently attending their synagogues, and reasoning with them out of the Hebrew scriptures. And altho’ I cannot say with certainty that any of them were converted, yet, sure I am from eye witnesses, that they were not able to gain-say the power by which he spoke.

*When at any time he met any of his Christian acquaintance, in the street, or called at their houses passing by, he had always something to say by way of watch-word, which he left upon their minds. Such as, “Well, let us hold out a little longer! Are we pressing forward? Let us hold fast faith, and a good conscience. Are we watching now unto prayer, and pressing after perfect love?” I well remember one instance of the good effects of this, which a person mentioned to me since his death. “I shall never forget, says he, a word which Mr. Walsh, taking me by the hand one day, spoke to me in my shop, ’Tis worse than death, my God to love, and not my God alone.” It was like a nail in a sure place, and left a useful impression ever after. The gravity and earnestness, with which he delivered these kinds of little memento’s to his friends, carried them, by God’s help to the heart, and left them there. So that I have heard several of his sayings, in this way, called to remembrance, since his decease, by several of his acquaintance.

He did whatsoever he did for God, with all his might, spending his very life in every action, even as tho’ he should merit heaven thereby, and yet, at the same time despising himself as an unprofitable servant.

CHAPTER VII.

His application to study, love to the holy scriptures, and improvement in divine knowledge.

T  HE first materials of his learning, were not very considerable; he had acquired some knowledge of Latin in his childhood, but left it off for the Mathematics: so that by the time he resumed his grammatical studies, he had almost all to do again. However, the strength of his natural capacity, and intense application to study, after his conversion, soon recovered, what he had lost, with vast increase.

From the time of his first, deep concern about salvation, he read, as has been intimated, the word of God, with unwearied application; and every thing else, only as it had some reference to the truths contained therein: and this practice he continued with increasing diligence, and delight, till sickness disqualified him for all study. And to such a degree of eminency did he arrive therein, that I believe, it may be said with truth, he was scarce ever a moment waking, wherein he was not either talking of, reading, or meditating on one truth or other contained in holy scripture.

At first he read the English bible chiefly; but his endeavours for the good of many of his ignorant countrymen, induced him to read, and get well acquainted with the New Testament in Irish likewise.

He next set himself, to understand the scriptures, both of the Old Testament and the New, in their original. It was not till after he had acquired some tolerable knowledge of the Greek Testament, that he entered upon the study of Hebrew. This was at London, about December 1755. He agreed with a Jew to instruct him, at the rate of a shilling an hour. A few lessons served all the ends he needed; and being fully initiated into the genius of the language, he soon became as it were swallowed up in it.

The matter of the study so endeared the language to him, that he proceeded therein with incredible swiftness. He discovered every day, such a depth of hidden wisdom, in the writings of Moses, and the prophets, read in their own tongue, as he could hardly have conceived from our translation, tho’ for the most part, deemed the best in the world.

He ascribed it to a special assistance from heaven, that the study of the tongue, became so easy and pleasant. And I have heard him mention this very particular as an argument (at least to himself) of the regard of heaven, to this first, most simple, and excellent of languages;¹ in assisting those who with upright minds enquire into it after the mind of God. And to this purpose he writes as follows.

¹ “The Hebrew (says archbishop Usher) is the first tongue of the world, and the most orderly speech: in comparison of which all other languages may be condemned for barbarous confusion.”

“Sure I am (says an eminent writer) that it ought to be the first language we are taught, after we have learned to lisp our own: and were I worthy to advise, the oriental dialects should follow the Hebrew, the Greek should follow the Arabic, and the Latin be acquired by conversation and reading, in the same manner as the modern languages of Europe are acquired.”

“December 20, 1756. I spent the forenoon in my studies, in which God has, and does greatly assist me. About this time twelve-month I could not read a sentence of Hebrew with any certainty, or construe a verse with readiness. But now I can read my bible through, and understand it, almost as well as Latin or English. This hath God done, enabling me to read his blessed word in the first and best of languages. O may all my studies and talents be devoted to his glory!”

*His application was indeed prodigious. I have known him spend fourteen hours, of the four and twenty, in this study, excepting only the intervals of prayer, which he frequently poured out for his blessing, whose inspiration alone teacheth man true wisdom. He often intermixed a verse of praise, or petition; and then, turning his face to the wall, and lifting up his heart and countenance to heaven, with his arms claspt about his breast, he would stand for some time before the Lord in solemn recollection, and then return to his work.

*It was a rare thing ever to see him, but with a book in his hand, or speaking of the things of God, or in meditation. When in travelling, he at any time stopt at an inn, as soon as he was showed to his chamber, to stay whether for an hour, or a night; he would take out his little Hebrew psalter (which was his favourite travelling companion) or some other spiritual book, and fall immediately to his usual work; unless the time was taken up in exhorting the landlord, or servants, or in short, any he met with. Accommodations for his body were his smallest care; and his attention to these, were always, as it were by the bye. He, like the tortoise, had his house always with him, and seemed every where, and yet no where at home, in this world. He pursued his work, well nigh equally, at all times, and in all places, spontaneously to tend to God. Even after preaching, he has immediately resumed his studies, (having books always with him,) and this often, where several persons have been talking, or otherwise employed, as their occasions required round about him. He, still pursued his work, as tho’ he were retired in a closet: proceeding on the sentiment, that he had no other business in this world, than to pray, and preach, and study, and live in every place, and in every thing, for God!

The frequency of his stated times of prayer, were, at first especially, much interrupted hereby. But he followed the light which he then had; and intending all his acquirements for the glory of God, in the interest of souls, he thought he might on some occasions, (as one expresses it,) “leave God, for God.”

He was not, however, without frequent jealousies, lest his intense application, even to this kind of employment, should in any wise, divert his heart from what he most prized, namely, close attention to Jesus. After a while therefore, having mastered the main difficulties in his work, his application became much more moderate. He began to “Learn well to know, how much need not be known.”

*One day he writes as follows. “I was all day closely employed at study. But I fear I love my books too much. It is true my studies relate to the word of God: but I often find my mind carried out in desire after languages, arts and sciences; yet I see the vanity of every thing, when separate from God: to be sure, I prize the knowledge of Christ crucified above all other knowledge. To imitate his wisdom, goodness, meekness, patience and love: alas! what are Hebrew, Greek, Latin, Logic, Metaphysics, every thing to this! What is any thing to the love of Jesus! O that sweet peace of conscience, and contentment of mind; which arise from redemption in his blood! O Lord, thou knowest that I desire to be great in thy grace; to be armed with thy armour. My soul longs to rise above these little, transitory things. I fain would rest in thee! I thirst for the divine life. I pray for the spirit of illumination. I cast my soul upon Jesus Christ, the God of glory, and Redeemer of the world. I desire to be conformable unto him; his friend, servant, disciple, and sacrifice! Come now my Jesus! See the longings of my soul, and finish the work there.”

*From hence may be gathered both, what was the spirit of the man, and the tendency of his studies. He desired to know: but it was God, and the things of God, which he proposed to himself, as the sole matter of his knowledge. For altho’ he read occasionally both logic and metaphysics, history, and natural philosophy, yet it was all with reference to his one grand point. Whatever treasures he gathered from abroad in these, or in any other way; as the industrious bee, collecting her sweets from different flowers, deposits all in one hive; so he reduced, and made all his attainments subservient to, the word of God, and acquaintance with Jesus, as his central point.

And his fear, lest in any thing he should deviate from this, had much influence on the regulation of his studies. He well knew, that to have a heart always at leisure for God, attentive to his teaching, and obedient to his dictates, is the great thing to which every design must give place; and that the heart is capable of being overcharged with things, in some respects, lawful and excellent, as with surfeiting and drunkenness, or cares of this life; all of which are therefore, to be as carefully guarded against.

And perhaps there are few things by which the spirit of darkness, so serves himself, among the thinking world, as by this very particular; diverting the mind from proper application to the one thing needful, not indeed by things sensual, or immoral, which they abhor, and would perhaps be shocked at the thought of; but by things, in some respects innocent, and plausible, if not necessary: it may be by curious speculations on government, the works of nature or grace, and ideal pursuits of various kinds.

*Bishop Taylor mentions it as a saying of Oegidius, “an old, and simple woman who loves Jesus, may be greater than was brother Bonadventure.” And inasmuch as the giving our whole heart to God, is that, without which, nothing in religion is available; if this be not done, is it not the same thing, whether it be through gazing at the stars, catching of butterflies, or committing adultery? The death of the body is as fully affected by the prick of a lancet, as by the stroke of a cannon-ball. And, to such alas, as procure the loss of their own soul, how little difference does it make, whether it was done by the crimes, of the grossest kind, or, by what the flattery of self-love, and a mistaken world call little things. He was throughly sensible of his danger in this respect, and began to regulate himself accordingly.

He found towards the conclusion of his studies in particular, that more true wisdom is obtained from God, by prayer and holy meditation in one hour, than from the application of years to folio volumes; and therefore esteemed one single sentiment, gained in this manner, of more value than a thousand speculations acquired by mere dint of study in the way of human science. He perceived well the difference which there is between studying barely to instruct others, (which in its place, is also right and necessary) and studying to perfect one’s self, to produce that purity, and disengagement which is absolutely necessary to receive the true light of the holy Spirit. “The secrets of the kingdom of heaven are not understood thoroughly, but by the sons of the kingdom, and by them, too in several degrees, God distributing to every one severally as he willeth; but to such as know not God, the whole system of this wisdom is insipid and flat, if not totally rejected, dull as the foot of a rock, and unlearned as the elements of our mother tongue. But so are mathematics to a Scythian boar, and music to a camel.”

*His settled manner now was, to assign the morning wholly to the reading, first a chapter out of the Old Testament, and frequently some of the psalms in Hebrew. Then he read, and digest some part of his Greek Testament. His manner of doing this, took him up great part of the forenoon: and afterwards, he read, wrote, or was otherwise employed as occasions directed. He frequently had some persons to visit him for instruction in some point of learning; chiefly in Hebrew. Two or three young men of Cambridge, at different times, being in town, and knowing him, chose to be initiated by him in the Hebrew tongue. He was constantly as communicative as receptive of instruction, withholding nothing from any one, that he thought might be useful to them.

He read the scriptures in order; beginning a book, and going thro’ with it regularly; fixing at the same time upon such parts, as had most immediate reference to the doctrines and precepts of the gospel-state of things; which he not only read most frequently, but likewise committed to memory. *And the degree of perfection to which he arrived in this particular, was really surprising. His acquaintance with the letter of scripture, and his retentive memory, supplied him as with a constant concordance. And I believe there was not a remarkable passage, historical, doctrinal, or preceptive, from Genesis to the Revelation, which he could not, on the bare mention of, turn to immediately.

“Thy word (says he) O Lord, I have for mine inheritance for ever. It is the joy of my heart, and of more value to me than millions of worlds. O God, give me understanding, that I may keep thy law! But let my whole dependance be in Jesu’s merits. He is my advocate. Only by faith in him I stand. He is my sure refuge, and portion, in the land of the living!”

Being at sea one time, and the weather becoming extremely tempestuous, the mariners themselves were apprehensive of death. He in like manner expected the same, and put into his bosom, a small bible which he had with him, resolving that what he so loved in life, should not be parted from him even in death. Such was his love to, and singular esteem for the word of God.

In this manner it was, that he became in truth, a scribe, well instructed to the kingdom of heaven, and brought out of the treasury of his heart-experience, the old and new, and deep things of the word of Jehovah. It was from this fountain he derived his ideas, sentiments and expressions, on all occasions; explaining doctrines, enforcing duties and resolving difficulties, well nigh, altogether in scripture words. The spirit of wisdom so rested upon him, that there was nothing of a divine nature, which occurred to his own mind, or was proposed to him by others, respecting doctrines, experience, or practice, of which he could not speak with convincing clearness and satisfaction.

He had a singular faculty for throwing light upon doubtful cases; and it was not unusual with him, by two or three words to set to rights, and entirely quiet the minds of persons, perplexed before, about points of doctrine, or experience. A most remarkable instance of this I remember to have known in Ireland: a person who was greatly embarrassed in his mind concerning a point in religion, which appeared to him of great importance, and who had received no satisfaction from all his former researches on the head, came to Mr. Walsh, and related the matter to him; which having heard, he only asked one question, requiring the person to answer. And whether it was, that God, just then shone upon the man’s soul, and by his immediate light solved the difficulty; or whether it was through mere rational conviction, resulting from the arguments implied in his question, I know not; but he was instantly satisfied, and being convinced of his former mistake, had no further uneasiness on the head.

His insight into the invisible world, so realized to him things to come, that he spake of them as one who both heard and saw them. And they had their proportionable influence on the whole of his behaviour. He acted as in the immediate presence of God; and thus went on reading and meditating day and night, in the law of his God; and devouring, like another Ezekiel, the whole divine volume.

CHAPTER VIII.

His manner of preaching.

A  T first his sermons consisted chiefly, of a number of well chosen texts of scripture, suited to the particular subject on which he treated, and which, he, for the most part, cited with both the chapter and verse. He had in this manner formed, as it were, a body of divinity in his head, which was a kind of store house of his sermons. Time and experience however, brought him off from the custom of, so particularly citing the places of the scriptures, he made use of; unless where he judged it singularly useful, both for the conviction and satisfaction of the hearers.

*A constant course of reading, much conversation with the children of God, and the acquaintance, which a life of faith, meditation and prayer, gave him with God, and with the motions of his own soul, greatly extended his views into divine things in general; and furnished him with variety of subjects for the edification and comfort of the church of God: so that in the last two or three years of his course, his sermons had in them depth, and solidity, far beyond those of his former years.

The state of his own heart, had much influence on the particular subjects of his sermons: as is surely the case with all, to whom preaching is not a mere business of course: but on the contrary, an affair of the weightiest importance in the world, requiring the deepest attention and most circumspect walking. He knew that the words of an unfeeling heart, are but empty sounds; and that although they might please for the present, they rarely profit the hearers. And it was on this account, that attending constantly to the motions of his own soul, he hardly ever preached a sermon, without conveying nearly the like sensations to others, whether of deep contrition of spirit, holy mourning, or spiritual joy, which he felt in his own soul.

“When, says he, I am in heaviness, I am led to speak chiefly of trials; when lively and fervent, I am led to speak of the comforts of believers; and when I am hungering and thirsting after righteousness, I press upon others to cleanse themselves from all filthiness of flesh and spirit, and to perfect holiness. And hence I learn, 1st. How needful it is for a preacher to be in a right spirit himself, whenever he speaks to others. And, 2dly, The wisdom of God, in so ordering, that every soul might receive its portion of the milk of the word in due season.”

*All his sermons might be truly said to be his own from God. He stole not the word from his neighbour, nor catched at trivial incidents to furnish him with an hour’s discourse. His heart was a treasury well furnished, insomuch that he was never at a loss for something in season: even sometimes when he has been so taken up with other parts of his calling, as not to have the least time for preparing to preach; yet the pourings out of his feeling soul, evidenced themselves to waiting hearts, to be of God.

*There was nothing whining, light, or trivial in his discourses; nothing put on; nothing that could excite levity, much less laughter; but rather, and which was commonly the case, groans and tears and cries. His sermons had in them such a depth of divine truth, confirmed by the word of God, with such a greatness and majesty as begot in the hearers an awe and reverence, which removed far away, all petulancy and thoughtless irreverence of spirit: and produced in many a solemnity and attention of soul, becoming those who hear discourses for life, or death eternal. To all of which, his grave and mortified countenance, contributed not a little. In short his whole behaviour in the pulpit was such, as became a messenger of God, put in trust with the ministry of reconciliation.

His discourses were suited to give a portion to everyone, as their need required; milk for babes, and for stronger men, stronger meat: though still they had this tendency, with regard to all, to excite people’s hearts to the pure love of God. *And although he preached faith in Christ as the only way, of obtaining all the good things of grace and glory, yet he did it in such a manner as effectually to guard it against the abuse of libertines, who turn the freeness of the grace of God, into an occasion of wantonness; who while they promise liberty to others, are, at the same time servants of corruption. Persons of this character could not in the least serve themselves from his discourses; in every one of which he so preached faith in Christ, as to establish the law, in its true sense, that is, to secure all the interests of genuine holiness, both in heart and life; all the fruits of righteousness; the most rigorous regard to mens duty to God, their neighbour, and themselves.

When he first began to preach, his chief talent seemed to be for quickening such as were dead in trespasses and sins; for terrifying careless sinners with the dread of God’s judgments, alarming them, as it were, to flee from the wrath to come. It was ♦truly said of him,

“He fierce on the Philistines flies,

Compels the captives to come in;

Spoils Satan of his lawful prize,

And tears them from the toils of sin.”

♦ “tuly” replaced with “truly”

His courage and resolution in this, were such as are rarely to be found. He judged, that there was nothing more likely to pull down the strong holds of Satan, than to lay the axe to the root of sin; and in all his sermons, he ever used to discover its detestable nature, pressing upon the conscience, an entire purgation from dead works. And he did it in such a manner as often pierced the very joints and marrow of his hearers.

It was easy to discover in him likewise, the utmost impartiality. Knowing that he was to deliver his Lord’s message, he spared no man from any human regards: but boldly detecting their sin, commended himself to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.

And yet, his zeal was tempered with wisdom and discretion for notwithstanding his pressing vehemently upon the conscience of his hearers, in all his sermons, yet (although some were sometimes offended) they were never able to resist the authority by which he spake.

But it was not as a Boanerges, a son of thunder only, that he excelled. His own happy experience, of the forgiving, healing, and comforting virtue of the blood of Jesus; together with his mighty acquaintance with the promises of life in him, fitted him for administring comfort, and much encouragement to the weary, and the heavy-laden with sin; To such, he was in truth, a son of consolation; his lips dropped sweetness to them, as the honey-comb.

*O God, how many a bleeding wound hast thou made him an instrument of healing, by pouring into the hearts of the disconsolate, the wine and oil of the gospel, in a rich profusion of those precious, golden promises, which being ratified to us by the holy blood of thy dear Son, are all yea, and amen in him, to thine eternal glory! Yes,

“Refreshing, soft, as vernal showers,

His word, on weary sinners falls,

Or, like the rapid torrent pours,

While souls to Jesu’s blood he calls!”

*It was scarcely possible for the most icy, and rocky heart, to remain long so under his moving and authoritative discourse, laid home to the conscience, by the sword of the Spirit, which, like the flaming sword in paradise, turned every way, to every heart. And accordingly, it was a very rare thing for him ever to preach a sermon, without sending some away, either broken-hearted, rejoicing in God, or increased more or less, in the knowledge of the Crucified.

*Towards the latter part of his progress, the two last years of his life especially, the whole bent of his soul, his reading, meditations, prayer, conversation and preaching, tended altogether, to the deep things of God, (1 Corinthians ii. 10.) the so perfectly loving him, with all the capacity of the soul and body, as the state of humanity can admit. The entire salvation of God, from all sin, to all the mind that was in Christ Jesus, was now his constant, and most beloved theme, both in public and private. And he omitted nothing which might either inform his judgment, or affect his own, or the hearts of others, in reference to this most interesting concern of the children of God.

*His thoughts on the head became therefore thoroughly digested; so that there was hardly an objection which either Satan, men, or the heart of unbelief could bring against it, for which he had not a convincing answer. His own heart-acquaintance therewith, will be seen from a subsequent account of his experience. The light which he had into the nature, and his fervent manner of enforcing the worth, and necessity of Christian holiness, was one great means of enkindling, in the hearts of many, that fire of pure love, to God and man, which has since his death likewise, increased more abundantly, and still burns (O may it ever burn!) amongst us, to the greater glory of God. Only such as were experimental witnesses of it, having a true relish for things of so high a nature, can rightly conceive of the abilities, with which God endowed him, for this part of his work; of the manner in which, he,

With strength and utterance from above

Urg’d on the saints thro’ grace forgiven,

To scale the mount of holiest love,

To seize the brightest throne in heaven!

In all his discourses on the subject, he as much as may be, carefully avoided his own words, both in explaining, and enforcing its nature, extent, and the means of attaining thereto. He did it in the words which the Holy Ghost teacheth, explaining those spiritual things, with spiritual words: (1 Corinthians ii. 13.) while in the mean time, his fervent and affecting manner of urging them, and indeed every other part of the doctrine of salvation, commanded,

——“Audience and attention, still as night

Or summers noon-tide air.”

He had not, it must be acknowledged, at least he had but little made use of, the art of preaching: not indeed that he was ignorant of such rules as, orators lay down for ordering, and conducting public discourses. His knowledge both of Logic and Rhetoric was far from being inconsiderable. He had both read, and in some good degree, digested the principles of both. But the eagerness with which he proceeded in his work; and the rapid flow of his soul, sending forth its good matter, not like the distilling of a water-pot, but as a plentiful shower from the heavens, watering deep and wide all around, did not suffer him to attend, with exactness, to such niceties in composition or delivery: nay, even prevented that moderation, as to the length, and manner of delivering his discourses, which would have been much more easy to himself, and to his audience, many of them being often in pain for him.

*Yet afterwards, when the repeated advice of his friends, and the necessity of his constitution, obliged him to a more slow, and deliberate manner, some ascribed it to (what they called) his want of power; such is the folly and weakness of many, in their sentiments with regard to this particular! How common is it to imagine, that the presence and power of the Spirit of God, and that influence by which souls are awakened, justified, or built up in holiness, depends upon the loudness of the preacher’s voice, or the swiftness of his expression? In other words, upon the strength of a man’s lungs, and it may be, the assurance of his gesture and utterance. A sentiment not more strange to the truly wise, than it is common with many. As though noise, and animal activity should be dignified with the names of spirit and power, and the want of them ascribed to dryness, deadness and formality! Strictly speaking indeed, there is no necessary divine power in any man’s manner of speaking, whether loud or low, swiftly or softly. It is the Spirit that quickeneth, and as he pleaseth; and it may be questioned, whether effects that have been sometimes produced, by a loud, vehement, and overbearing manner of speaking, were not in great measure merely mechanical, if not of Satan himself, to cast an odium upon the work of God. In truth the most substantial, genuine effects of the gospel ministry, arise from its delivery, not with noise and human vehemence, (which often rather calls off the mind from the inward life and communion with God:) but with distinct calmness, and wise deliberation.

There may often be a strong wind, an earthquake, and fire; but the Lord is in the still, small voice, (1 Kings xix. 11. 12.) and those are only in order to this. His word, it is true, is a sword, and a hammer, which wounds and breaks human hearts in pieces; and any one’s manner of speaking contributes towards this so far as it is to be commended. But considered independently of this (which is too often the case) the loudness of a man’s voice is in reality no better than the blowing of a trumpet, or the sound of a drum. Not by might, or by power, but by my Spirit, saith the Lord of hosts. What is here intended, is nakedly to represent a common mistake, in order to its removal.

His sermons were seldom less than an hour long; and yet, had in them such an agreeable variety, that they were rarely, if ever tedious, unless to such as wanted a savour for the things of God.

He was always at the conclusion, in a bath of sweat. And the place of preaching being often at some distance from his lodging, his suddenly growing cold again, was one reason of the frequency of the fevers which he had from time to time, during his whole life of public labour.

He often resolved before he began to preach, to restrain the rapidity of his spirit, but in vain: “The sword (as he once said to me) being too keen for the scabbard.” The fervour of his soul broke through all his resolutions, but wasted at the same time, the very springs of life, which he felt immediately afterwards.

With regard to the manner of his preparing for sermons, he seemed to keep between the two extremes, neglect of all actual, previous preparation, and a dry scholastic composition of exact materials. To have no regard to the matter, and manner of his discourses before hand, under the pretence of dependance upon heaven, for immediate influence and utterance, he judged to be rank enthusiasm; and often, a cloke for a lazy, indolence of spirit; on account, of which, nonsense has been too often dignified with the sacred names of inspiration and power. And yet, he judged it alike culpable, to seek after and trust to mere dry human skill, in fixing upon heads, and taking such measures, as to preach only ones self, independant as it were, on the quickening, enlighting presence of the Holy Ghost, without which all preaching and all hearing are vain.

*He prayed and studied, and studied and prayed again, going always (unless necessity prevented) from his closet and off his knees, into the pulpit. But when he came there, he gave himself up wholly into the hands of God, to be actuated and used by him, in all respects, as might be most for his glory. And it was glorious and wonderful, to see the good effects, which were produced at those times, by the words of God flowing from his lips, and entering into the heart, without indeed the ornaments of studied eloquence, but in their native majesty and simplicity; such as they are in themselves, and as he himself relished them. One circumstance relating to his manner, was, that he almost always begun, and in general concluded his sermons with a text of scripture: but so judiciously chosen, as seldom failed to touch the heart, and frequently to cast light on the whole subject.

One might easily gather from his way of preaching, how sensible he was of a mistake in many preachers, who content themselves, supposing there be but demonstration in their sermons, that they have spoken things which cannot be gainsay’d. Whereas if there be nothing more than clearness of demonstration, it may indeed be said to the preacher, thou preachest well; but what then? Who are quickened in their pursuit of God and heaven? Who hates his sins? Or who loves God the more for your discourse? Now where these are not to be found, may not a sinner as well be hearkening to a mathematician demonstrating Euclid’s elements, as to a preacher preaching thus?

It was far from satisfying him that his sermons had in them sufficient demonstration. Still retaining in mind, What is the end of preaching, bringing souls acquainted with, and building them up in God; he rated his sermons accordingly: and for the more effectual promotion of this, studied to be well acquainted with all the motions of the human heart, pointing his discourses there continually; laying hold, as it were of its very inmost thoughts, and with the sinners own weapons, slaying the enemies of his salvation. He applied to the conscience at every turn, and after having at any time demonstrated a peculiarly interesting truth of a general nature, he always took care to make it a personal thing, by questioning the heart of every one concerning their part therein. He frequently introduced, by way of comparison, many of the incidental occurrences in life, things respecting callings, families, and a thousand little matters, by which the great concerns of the soul enter more deeply and sensibly into the minds of the common people. I have heard a woman of known integrity say, that intending one evening to have his judgment, after preaching on several particulars, which were a weight to her mind; he so anticipated every objection, and answered them in the sermon, that she needed no farther enquiry.

*It was usual with him in his sermons, to propose and answer divers cases of conscience, which was an inexpressible satisfaction to many. In describing of vices (for which he was eminently remarkable) he did not so much dwell upon the vice itself abstractedly, as he shewed the persons to themselves, who were guilty thereof; and represented the unavoidable danger of such as lived and died therein. It was not so much pride, envy, anger, lust, drunkenness, swearing, and the like, which he painted in their detestable nature, (though he did this also;) but his drift at such times, was to describe the proud, the envious, the angry, and the lustful man; to alarm the drunkard, and the swearer, &c. as with the voice of thunder, to escape for their lives. The most guilty person can sit and hear his vice described, with composure enough; but the conscience of a sinner cannot so easily escape, when the preacher speaking as it were to one person (though without particularizing any) charges it home, Thou art the man. It was in this way that his sermons were, by the grace of God, effectual to the awakening and converting of so many.

His whole life being one series of holy living and mental improvement, preserved his heart, like an ever-fresh, and overflowing fountain, which on every occasion poured forth its fruitful streams of holy doctrine, and persuasive exhortation. It was easy to discern, that he felt the things he delivered. He gave himself wholly to this one thing; and, which was the crowning glory of all, was himself a pattern of the truths he taught.

His own example strengthens all his laws;

He is himself the gracious saint he draws.

*Indeed this was first and last, his main concern, That while he ministered to the wants of others, he might not sustain loss in his own soul, nor have to take up that sad complaint, They made me keeper of the vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept.¹ It is a fearful case for a preacher, to be only like a channel in a garden, through which the water runs to cool and moisten the herbs and flowers, but nothing for its own use; if not like the spoils of bevers, sheep and silk-worms, designed to cloath others, which are made the occasion of their own nakedness, if not the cause of their death. This indeed is never the intention of God, concerning his servants; but men bring it upon themselves through the abuse of his favours. What is this but to build a fortune for others, upon the ruins of one’s own house, while after preaching to others, thou thyself dost become a castaway.

¹ Canticles i. 6.

CHAPTER IX.

Of his frequent sickness, the exercises of his mind therein, and the improvement which he made thereof.

H  IS original constitution was strong, and his make and stature such, as, humanly speaking, indicated health and long life. He seemed free from those incumbrances of constitution which some have to struggle with well nigh all their days. His complexion tended rather to the melancholic, although from his fervour of spirit, one would have thought the contrary. But the grace of God, is powerful to alter, and even invert the course of nature. However, the natural temperature of his body seemed well calculated both for the service of God, and of his neighbour.

But in fact, if his bones had been brass, and his flesh iron, they must have yielded to the violence which his labours offered to his constitution. He enjoyed good health till above nineteen, which was the year of his conversion to God. But from the twentieth to the twenty-eighth, his life may be said to have been a lingering death; as he never was a day free from pain or weakness.

A slow fever, and pain at his stomach were, for the most part, his companions, day and night. The manner of his preaching, intense study, little rest, and frequent fatigues, broke the very frame of his nature, and brought him in a short time to such a habit of body, as no medicines were able to remove.

“It is, as he once expressed it, (speaking of his illness) in the work of God, in the cause of Christ! Therefore I rejoice; for I count not my life dear to myself, if I may but glorify my Lord God, and only Master, Jesus Christ.” It is surprizing, that, considering his weakness and habitual disorders, he could go thro’ such daily and nightly labours as he did: nor can it be accounted for otherwise, than that the strength of God was made perfect in his weakness. Sometimes (says he) when I begin the labour of love, I am hardly able, either to walk or speak; but after I have laboured a while, I find new strength, and am even better than when I begun!”

As to the use which he always made of his illnesses, it will be best gathered from his own words.

*“Tuesday, January 18, 1751. I preached on Matthew v. 3. but could not finish; being seized with an ague. Immediately I went to bed. I could rest in the will of God, being persuaded it was for the better. True it is, that afflictions are not joyous, but grievous while they last, though afterwards they yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness. How great, O my God, are thy goodness, and tender mercies towards me! If I had a thousand tongues, I could not praise my God as he deserves. He remembers me in the time of my trouble, and leaves not my soul comfortless. Lord, there is nothing good in me, that thou shouldst regard, and so remember me. All is of thy free grace, and undeserved mercy. O the ravishing joy that seizes my heart, in meditating on the dying love of my Saviour! It raises me above all human things, and carries my soul deep into the mysteries of godliness.”

Two things he then especially remarked,

1st. How sad an affair it is to leave the work of salvation to a time of sickness? “Experience has strongly taught me, that if my peace was not made before such an affliction (referring to a violent fever, as this was) it would never have been made, distraction, and almost madness would take up the time; and not repentance. Look O Jesus upon those who are putting the evil day afar off.”

2dly. That before each of his illnesses; he had had remarkable displays of the divine goodness towards him. Thus he says, “I cannot but remark the exceeding goodness of God, for before my illnesses for some years past, he always gives me a clear manifestation of his love.”

The following account was after a fever, which lasted nine and twenty days, at a place called Tirrelspass in Ireland.

1. “I had no joy for twenty days. The severity of my sickness and pain, pressed down my soul. Neither divine light nor love shone into my heart; yet I prayed often with freedom ♦and fervour.”

♦ duplicate word “and” removed

2. “I had no strong temptations; no fear of death, or hell: neither had I any desire to die. On the thirteenth day, I had an assurance, that I should not die in Tirrelspass. My greatest uneasiness arose from the place where I lay, which was a narrow room, with a shop adjoining, where was hurry and noise almost continually. This circumstance, thro’ the evil of my heart, often became a temptation to impatience. But I cried unto the Lord, and he made every thing more easy to me every day.”

3. “About the twentieth day, my soul and body much revived. I could after a night of heaviness rejoice in God. I experienced much of the love of Christ. But yet I felt the old man. Alas! what an evil heart have I! How hard is it to humble me, and wean my desires from earth? Lord, Thou knowest my heart and reins. And is it not my desire to love thee with all my soul, and serve thee with all my strength?”

“Is there a thing beneath the sun,

That strives with thee my heart to share?

Ah, tear it thence, and reign alone

The Lord of ev’ry motion there!”

4. “On the twenty-sixth day, early in the morning, the gracious Lord replenished my soul with his love. He poured out his Spirit upon me. The intercourse was open between heaven and my soul. I loved, and could pray for all the world, as for myself. O how does Christ inlarge the heart! What flames of divine charity does he kindle there! The twenty-seventh day I had such a sense of the mercy of God as quite overcame my soul. In the evening however, I felt a severe struggle: but the blessed Spirit soon set my heart at liberty.”

“Lord, since it hath pleased thee, to spare me a little longer, make my life useful. Let me be wholly given up to thee, and thy service, that I may glorify thee, in all things, thro’ Jesus Christ, my dearest Lord and Saviour. Amen.”

“Limerick, October 28, 1755. I was seized with a fever, which confined me to my room, till Friday, November 7. I remark the following particulars,”

*“1st. I examined what might be the cause of this illness; but could not discern any thing in particular. I saw indeed that many of my tempers, words and actions were not truly holy. I was ashamed of my best performances, I saw my best living as a mere blot: yet the guilt of no particular sin lay upon my conscience.”

“2dly. I was more subject to temptation in this sickness than usual: not indeed to think hard of God, or repine at my illness: but I had spiritual conflicts, wrestlings against principalities and powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world; against wicked spirits in high places. The third day, which was Thursday, October 30, I had the sorest conflict that ever I felt. I was suddenly seized in body, and amazed in mind. I thought every moment would have been my last. I had a vehement thirst. My tongue was dry and turgid. And my soul was in an agony. I was overwhelmed with fear, sorrow, and sore affliction.”

*“All the sins of my life passed before me, but especially those which were since I had been enlightened, and since I preached the gospel. I saw, and felt myself hell-deserving; that I was nothing, and could do no good work before God. I was really poor, in such a manner and degree, as I never felt before. I was stript, humbled, emptied, laid open, confounded and afraid of God’s judgments; tho’ not afraid of the devil, or hell. Nay, I all the while knew I had redemption in the blood of Jesus, and that all my sins were forgiven. Who can understand? Only such as have felt the same.”

“3dly, In the midst of my troubles, I had liberty in prayer. My understanding and memory remained with me, and abundance of spiritual matter was suggested to my mind. Even passages of scripture, that I never used before, were brought to me in prayer. I was alarmed in every part, and cried mightily to God. I cried to all about me to pray for me. Surely they saw the bitterness of my soul. God remember them for good, who then sympathized with me in my trouble.”

*“4thly, It left me gradually, and without any sensible joy. Peace and confidence arose by degrees, in my spirit. The very extremity of the combat, lasted about a quarter of an hour. It just then occurred to me, that some days before, I heard Jesus, as it were, speak, and say to me, Satan hath desired to have thee, that he may sift you as wheat, but I have prayed for thee, that thy faith may not fail. And now I fully understood it. In so many instances, are those words of our Lord true, ‘What I do, thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.’”

“5thly, I felt, (and might it not be the design of God in the whole?) That the name of Jesus alone could avail to bring me to God. I had such a deep sense of this, as I never had before. I had besides, extraordinary evidence of the eternal power and godhead of Christ Jesus. In all my illnesses this truth has been wonderfully revealed to me, both by the external evidence of holy writ, and the internal evidence of the holy Spirit. None of the prayers which I made use of, so foiled and drove away Satan, as ‘Jesus, Son of the living God, have mercy upon, and save me from this hour.’ Likewise the fifty-third of Isaiah, the twenty-third of Jeremiah, and the sixteenth of St. Matthew, with much of the Revelation, came into my mind: and my prayers were made up chiefly of passages from these places. I cried out, when I thought I should speak no more, and said, Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I believe thou wilt raise me up at the last day.”

“I had at the same time, most earnest desires, to be made holy. I saw more clearly than ever the nature and necessity of perfect love; and was fully persuaded of the necessity of preaching Christian perfection, and of declaring, that all is of grace.”

“6thly, For four or five days, after it was over, I had much of the presence of God, and of Christ. Many scripture truths revealed to me, and strong assurances, that God would spare me a little longer, to preach his gospel to the ignorant, and them that are out of the way, and to help forward the faith of his children.”

*“I write this account November 8, 1755, being pretty free from bodily pain, at peace with God, and all mankind, desirous, and determined to live wholly to the glory of God; to be a servant of all, giving my life, time, and strength, with every other talent intrusted to me, to God, and the church, which my dear Jesus purchased with his blood. To him with the Almighty Father, and eternal Spirit, be ascribed the kingdom, power, and glory, for ever, and to eternity.”

The very day on which he wrote these reflections, and the first of his going out, after this illness, it being a day appointed for fasting and prayer, to avert the judgment of God, which seemed impending over these nations; he was taken in a chair to the preaching-house, and preached for a full hour, “having (as he expresses it) a deep sense of the majesty of God, and joyful confidence, that he would defend the real Israelites from the impending evil.”

The frequent experience which he had of remarkable escapes from confinement, by disorders which threatened him with a sudden removal hence, and these in times of preaching especially, made it a frequent and felt expression with him, “When I am weak, then I am strong.”

“When one knows (says he, on another of these occasions) that God is for him, that he has redemption in the blood of Christ, then whether he be rich, or poor, in sickness, or in health, he is happy, and can rejoice. Have I recovered my strength? And am I freely forgiven my former trespasses? Does the Spirit of God dwell in my heart? And can I by faith behold a reconciled God, and interceding Saviour, at his right hand? Well, then, welcome sickness, contempt, poverty, and death. If I meet with worldly troubles, ’tis to make my crown the brighter. If I suffer for Christ’s sake, happy am I. If I bear the cross, I shall wear the crown. Is my body cold? I am warmed with the flames of sacred love; naked? I have a covering of wrought gold, the righteousness of my Saviour! Hungry? I have meat to eat the world knoweth not of, the hidden manna, and the bread of life. Let me suffer then with Christ. Men may kill my body; but it would only send me the sooner to heaven.”

The following instance, the last I shall mention on this head, is the rather inserted, because in it may be seen a true picture of the man, from the free pourings out of his own heart. It was at Bristol, after recovering from a dangerous fever.

*“For three days last past, I had much converse with God, and vehement desires to live wholly to his glory. I have enquired into the reason of mine affliction, and think, God did it to humble me, that I should not be puffed up with the praises of the people. They cannot indeed too much admire the truths of God, nor be too thankful to him for them. But the danger was, lest I should think myself somebody: yet I cannot lay to my own charge the desire of applause, neither did I find it lift me up: on the contrary, it often made me ashamed, knowing my own vileness, and how little I either suffered or did for God.”

*“And truly I was never more sensible of my unprofitableness, than I am at this hour. I blush to see and hear how others live, and have lived; and at how low a rate I yet live. But above all, when I consider the life of the holy Jesus, O how far short do I come! I am not entirely dead to myself. I am not altogether free from affection to creatures. I cannot rejoice equally to suffer, as to be comforted. I speak words I ought not. I spend some minutes unprofitably. In short, I do not love God, or my neighbour as I ought.”

*“O, was it not for free grace, and the blood of sprinkling, where should I appear! But thou knowest my desire, or rather the desire of thy spirit within me. Thou knowest that there hast never been a saint upon earth whom I do not desire to resemble, in doing and suffering thy whole will. I would walk with thee, my God, as Enoch did. I would follow thee to a land unknown, as Abraham did. I would renounce all for thee, as did Moses, and Paul. I would, as did Stephen, seal thy truth with my blood!”

*“Is not this the desire of my soul, O my Saviour? O, give me power; give grace and constancy. For unless thou helpest, all my longings and praying will prove fruitless. But if thou waterest these plants, of thine own right hand’s planting, this grain shall become a great tree, and my soul shall be swallowed up in thee my Lord God!”

“Jesus was my comfort, and my joy, my life, and my strength. O, if I had not Jesus for my help, I should be miserable. But since I have thee I am happy in these my afflictions. The lovely smiles of thy countenance, which shine with glory, revive and raise me. O, divine love! What hast thou done for me, a poor sinner! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not his benefits.

“O that my soul was loosened from this body, that I might ascend the holy hill of the Lord! My Jesus, when shall I behold Thee face to face! O that this separate wall was broken down, this partition taken away, and that I could even now enter into the celestial courts there to sing everlasting hallelujah’s to my Lord, God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, Amen!”

CHAPTER X.

Of his temptations, conflicts and various exercises of soul.

I  T is a point of wisdom, well worthy our ♦pursuit, to know what in the course of our experience we ought to ascribe to God, to angels, whether good or evil, and to ourselves. How greatly would it contribute to prevent many evil reasonings and self-tormenting consternations? And it is a point of knowledge to which the children of the kingdom do actually attain through faith and prayer.

♦ “pusuit” replaced with “pursuit”

The following few particulars, in the course of the experience of this man of God, which are ascribed to the agency of the power of darkness, are (among an infinity of other instances in the world) sufficient proofs of the attempts of those malicious spirits, to steal and to destroy, to rob us of the grace of God, and to destroy our souls.

Concerning the variety of inward conflicts which he went through, he often took notice that they were greatest on the Lord’s day; and says on the occasion, “Lord I am more afflicted on thy day, than on any other. Thou knowest the cause. If it be the enemy that afflicts me, do thou rebuke him; let him have no power over my body or soul. And O give me thy meek, and long-suffering mind to bear whatsoever burden thou permittest to come upon me.”

He observes likewise, When I have most life and power in preaching, then the devil and sin muster all their force, and thrust sore at me. But hitherto God has preserved me both from the great offence, and from misery and dejection.

The instances of the resistance he found in the time of preaching from invisible powers, were highly remarkable. He has sometimes started in amaze, at horrible injections, concerning God, or Christ, or some fundamental article of the Christian religion; even then, while he has been powerfully asserting, proving, and enforcing it. I have often heard him say, there was not a single divine truth, in the which he was then established, for which he had not fought, resisting as it were unto blood. For he would take nothing upon trust; nor see with the eyes of others. He derived his sentiments, from the fountain head. His best things came from God in the way of labour and striving.

He has been sometimes deprived of the use of some of his senses, during the very time of preaching: once in particular, 1751. In the midst of his discourse, he, in an instant lost his eye-sight and fell back in the pulpit, yet retaining, during the whole time, the perfect use of his understanding: he however, soon recovered, and finished his sermon. He believed, ♦and was not confounded.

♦ duplicate word “and” removed

Often when he has been disturbed in the silence of the night in ways more than natural, well knowing the cause, he has with much confidence, in the name of Jesus commanded the adversary to be gone; and he found it always according to his faith.

Riding one day with a friend, and talking as he was wont, of the goodness of God, and of the confidence which he found in him.——“Just then, (says he) my horse on a plain place threw me over his head. As I came to the ground, it was, as it were, sounded in my ears, ‘Will you trust God now?’ Yes I said, for ever! Through the mercy of the Lord I was not hurt. I saw an enemy had done it. I was thankful and felt no contrary emotion in my heart.”

One particular which ought perhaps to be reduced to this head, and which to some, no doubt, will appear singular, was a painful apprehension, which he sometimes had of dying. And what renders it the more observable is, that it was so even at those times, when he could truly triumph in Christ, knowing that he should be with him for ever. Of this we have the following account from himself.

“Saturday, December 1, 1753. After preaching I studied closely till ten. I found infinite sweetness in God; and much power breathed into my soul after all the mind of Christ. At present I am tempted chiefly with the fear of death. I believe my pardon is sealed by the blood of the covenant. I have no fear of hell, and yet I am sorely apprehensive of death.” Again,

“Monday 22d. I was this day, as I have been frequently of late much perplexed at the thought of dying. I believe my Redeemer liveth, and that I have an interest in his blood, and yet, notwithstanding, I am sore amazed at the thought of dissolution.”

And thus in reality it was with this servant of God; so that the uncomfortable apprehensions which he sometimes felt, even till near his end, in regard of dying must needs be ascribed, chiefly, to the permission of God to Satan, to exercise him in this manner; and may be considered as a thorn in his flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet him; perhaps partly for the easement of other tempted souls, and with regard to himself, thereby more fully

“To prove him, and illustrate his high worth,

Whose constant perseverance overcame

Whatever Satan’s malice could invent.”¹

¹ Milton.

He studied deeply the nature of the Christian warfare, and was well practised in the use of its weapons. His thoughts on the whole armour of God,¹ ♦were the genuine result of his own experience. The combats which he met with, needed not less than the whole; and he both tried, and proved that every part thereof is indeed essential. Something very different from the preceeding particulars he relates as follows,

¹ There is a sermon of his printed under this title.

♦ “where” replaced with “were”

“Friday, August 2, 1754. I talked with one to-day, who was sorely tempted, (how mysterious!) to kill me; and for no other reason than because she was awakened under my preaching to feel herself a poor lost sinner.” Again,

“September 16. After preaching, a young woman came to me, and said, that some time before, she had brought a knife with her to preaching, intending to kill me; but was so terrified under the last prayer, that she durst not attempt it. The devil suggested, that if she did but take away my life, the burden which she felt through my preaching, would immediately depart.”

I shall conclude this chapter with a few other particulars, relating to this head of trials, taken from his own words.

“This day I was sorely tempted. Satan threw many of his fiery darts at me. I never before felt such agony in resisting, what are commonly called blasphemous thoughts. I cried unto the Lord, and he delivered me!”

“In the evening (not of the same day) I was in great distress. My soul was much weighed down. I felt grievous horror in my spirit, and yet I was resolved, although the Lord should slay me, to trust in him. In the very hour that I came to this resolution, my burden was removed; and the Lord gave me to rejoice in spirit.”

“This day, (April 1754) I had conversation with some Christian friends, concerning temptations, and the general experience of the saints. And however Satan may be permitted to trouble their body or soul, I always believed, that God doth not hide his face, unless to punish us for commission of sin, or omission of duty. And the more I meditate upon this subject, the more abundantly I am confirmed in my judgment.”

“Thursday 21. I had a miserable night. Sometime after I went to bed, I was sorely assaulted of the devil. I attempted to compose myself, but could not. I was suddenly seized with a weakness, and cold sweat. My heart failed me. My soul was afflicted; my spirit was grieved, and sore vexed. The eye of my faith was darkened; the sense of God’s love departed; and the anger of the Lord seemed revealed towards me. I could see nothing but thick darkness, and hear nothing but thundrings from Sinai! It seemed to me, as though there was a struggle between justice and mercy concerning me. But although I was in such confusion, and perplexity, I saw that mercy got the victory, and triumphed over judgment.”

*“My strength so failed me that it seemed as though I had not an hour to live. I rose however, and dressed myself; but could scarcely pray one word. I cried Mercy! Mercy! Mercy! I stretched myself upon the floor, and could weep only a few tears. I had gone through sore trouble and darkness before this time; but such a night as this, I never had before (and O my God, may I never see such another.) After being for some time on the floor, I got up and walked a little, about the room; and then threw myself upon my knees. Being a little revived, I went to bed again. During the little while I slept, I had before me the cause of my trouble. I soon got up, and my head was now as water, and my eyes a fountain of tears.

“My confidence returned, so that I could look up and believe that the Lord was mine. I went and preached on Zechariah iv. 7. Who art thou O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel thou shalt become a plain; and he shall bring forth the headstone thereof with shoutings, crying, grace, grace unto it. And my soul was humbled to the dust. My praying and preaching was from my very heart. Let it be for ever remembered, to the glory of the great God, and my Saviour Christ, that I was not suffered to be long in this condition. In about half an hour, I received some confidence, and in the morning my faith was increased.

“Let it be also remarked, that the scripture promises were of great comfort to me, particularly Hosea xiv. 1. John ii. 2, 3. Glory, honour, praise, worship, and dominion be ascribed unto thee, O Lord! Ye angels of God, bless him on my behalf! Let all in heaven and all in earth join to worship the triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!” The following was some time after.

“Tuesday, 21. I had a sorrowful morning. My soul was in heaviness through manifold temptations. The enemy came upon me in my sleep, and grieved my soul. Although I had joy at night, yet sorrow attended me in the morning. I had intended to have preached on the beatitudes; but finding myself full of troubles and temptations, I changed my purpose and preached from Hebrews iv. 14–16. O my God, must I perish? Hast thou brought me thus far and shall I be cast off? O, forbid it Saviour. Forsake not the work of thine own hands. Come and destroy the work of the devil! My God, my God, do not forsake me. Thou knowest that sin is hateful to me. Have I not a love to righteousness? Do not my soul and flesh cry out for the living God? Am I not willing to go even through the fire, rather than offend Thee? Why then should the enemy prevail against me?

“Jesus hast thou not bought my soul? Am not I thine? O that my head were waters, O that I could even weep tears of blood: Lord God let not thy loving kindness depart from me. Where art thou Jesus thou Son of God! My great High-Priest, where is thy atoning blood? Where is he that was tempted in all points like unto me? Is there no help for me in my God? Why art thou cast down O my soul? O that I could yield my last breath, if nothing else will end the strife! Oh! the languishments of my soul for an absent God! How does my spirit faint within me! How do I pine! O sun of righteousness, arise upon me with healing in thy wings. Come Lord Jesus, O come, and save me for thy mercy’s sake. Where are the soundings of thy bowels, Dost thou not see my labouring breast? Is not my pain even worse than strangling? Return O Lord, see my gasping longing, aching heart. Am I not an object of pity? Have I not need of Thee! Now answer me by fire! Get thyself the victory! I want the seal of thy Spirit, the earnest of my heaven!”

The Lord did hear his prayer. I find it therefore added soon after. “O how plentifully did the Lord pour his love and consolation into my soul! I am amazed at the goodness and long-suffering of God towards me. And I observe in general, that after great heaviness and conflicts, come extraordinary joy and consolation. O may I husband well this precious gift of God!”

CHAPTER XI.

His communion with God.

U  NDER this head, is comprehended the whole of his conduct, and experience, as a Christian, considered in his private capacity. And for this especially, we are furnished with the most ample materials, both from the general tenor of his conversation and from his diary.

He lived for this one thing. All his actions and employments had this single tendency; and he considered every thing else, with reference thereto: making his estimate of the good or evil of every intention, action, exercise, and understanding, according as it tended to promote, or hinder this best of pursuits, and noblest enjoyment of the human soul.

Without regarding the inclinations of nature, he embraced, or rejected every thing, with a view altogether to the promotion of the holy and happy fellowship of his soul with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ.

I am aware, how much more easy it is to say great things on this head, concerning one’s self, or others, than to say nothing but the truth. And it may be questioned, whether the greater part of the shining accounts hereof which we have seen, are the simple truth: the writers often shewing, rather what they could say, than what the persons whom they describe, really were. It is a fruitless expectation to look for more in men, than the state of humanity really admits.

The perfection of human kind is such a state of mind and body, as their nature admits of, and as God has provided for them, in the ocean of his love, and treasures of his grace. The sum of our perfection is, that being saved from all our enemies, (that is sins, including all wrong tempers, as well as words, and actions,) we love God with all the powers of the soul, and serve him, with the whole capacity, of both our soul and body. And whoever has attained to this (which whoso denies the possibility of, rejects the counsel and word of God) is, a perfect man, according to the scripture; manifold infirmities, necessarily connected with a dying body notwithstanding.

*This servant of God had his infirmities, properly so called, which often made him weep in secret places. And yet, so powerfully did the grace of our Lord work in him, to the destruction of sin; and to such a degree of victory did he attain over himself, the world and Satan, that, to many, he seemed more than human; being in truth a man of another world, in whom dwelt richly the Spirit of the living God.

To such as were witnesses of his fervent zeal, mighty prayer, steady seriousness, and habitual heavenly-mindedness, I shall not wonder if all that follows, seems far short of a full description of him. And yet, I am aware on the other hand, that to many others, it may have all the air of mere ideal flight, or enthusiastic folly; to persons, who, cold themselves, think ardor comes from hell.

The deep, and genuine acquaintance with God, to which he attained, was in truth beyond that which the generality of Christians arrive at; although all are, without doubt, equally entitled thereto. He truly put off the old man with his deeds, and became renewed in the spirit of his mind. He fully experienced the significancy of those words, Sin shall not have dominion over you. And he that hath suffered in the flesh, hath ceased from sin. As also, ye are dead: and he that is dead, is freed from sin. And from hence it was, that there appeared throughout his whole carriage, such fruit unto holiness. In him might be seen, how great things God doth for his children, who simply follow him, even in this world: no less than making them complete before him in love.

My first acquaintance with him, begun soon after the mercy of God had stirred me up, to seek his face. From a studious regard to the holy scriptures, it was soon given me to understand, what manner of person a Christian approved of God must be: and thenceforward, I both read, conversed, and thought of little else. And in him I saw clearly, what till then I had only conceived: in him my conceptions were truly exemplified. Much had been reported, both of the gifts and graces of Mr. Walsh; yet, I found in him, much more, than I had either conceived or heard. Nor did the long intimacy with him, with which I was afterwards privileged, alter, in the least my sentiments.

It might perhaps be thought tedious, minutely to describe all the particular graces, which adorned his life. And indeed to conceive of the excellencies which appeared in him, they need not be attended to, one by one; for neither so, could they be fully comprehended. But he walked before God, in such a manner, as abundantly included them all. He was a person of a surprizing greatness of soul, for which the whole circumference of created good, was far, far too little: he found in God.

“That something still, which prompts th’ eternal sigh,

For which we bear to live, nor fear to die.”

The love of Jesus, filled up in his soul, that mighty void, this whole creation leaves in human hearts.

His exactness in all those particulars, which comprize men’s duty to God, their neighbour and themselves, was such, and so well known, that it would be easy to swell this chapter, by enlarging on each of them, to an enormous size. But passing over the greater part of them, I shall only point out a few particulars, relating chiefly to his internal state, which were within my own notice: referring the reader, for a larger, and more satisfactory picture of him, to the following collection from his diary: in which are represented, those secret transactions of God upon his soul, to which himself alone could be privy.

The particulars I premise are,

I. His Prayer.

From the earliest dawn of the grace of God in his soul, he was singularly remarkable for constancy and importunity in prayer. He was early a wrestler with God, and prevailed to the obtaining that eminency in the knowledge of God, for which he was apprehended in Christ, and which is here related in part. The more he got acquainted with divine things, the more did he increase in this soul-enriching exercise. “He that has never prayed, can never conceive; and he that has prayed, as he ought, can never forget, how much is to be gained by prayer.”

Beside the daily, and often public pouring out of his soul, in general intercession, and occasional addresses to God, in behalf of needy souls (groaning under the guilt of sin, or body of corruption, or whatever was the cause) who often came to him for that purpose; he had his own stated times for approaching God in secret; in which it was far from sufficing, barely to present himself, and wait, whether in silence, or in discourse before the Lord. He accounted the work still to do, unless he felt his spirit affected with sentiments suitable to his condition; whether of holy mourning, self reprehension, recovery, or increase of peace and joy in the Holy Ghost, or some establishment in faith, meekness, patience, hope, or love.

Praying with all prayer, seemed the business of his life; for the doing of which, he waited neither for postures, times, or places. An heart so disposed, rendered holy to him, every thing of this kind, which may be said of places.

*Prostrate upon his face, kneeling, standing, walking, eating; in every posture, and in every place and condition, he was a man mighty in prayer. In sleep itself, to my certain knowledge, his soul went on (Canticles v. 2.) in groans, and sighs, and tears to God. His heart having attained such a habit of tendency to its Lord, could then only give over, when it ceased to beat.

The enjoyments of the divine sweetness, which God imparted to him in secret, and the nearness of access to the divine Majesty, with which he was favoured, were indeed amazing. He has been sometimes, as it were, lost in glorious absence, on his knees, with his face heavenward, and arms clasped round his breast: in such composure, that scarce could one hear him so much as breathe.

His soul seemed absorbed in God, and enjoyed a calmness and transport, which can here, be well enough reconciled. From the serenity, and something resembling splendor, which appeared on his countenance, and in all his gestures afterwards, one might easily discover, what he had been about.

*It was especially towards the conclusion of his Lord’s work, that he was favoured with such near fellowship with him. He approached the throne of grace with much of the reverential boldness of faith, believing, that whatever he asked, he should have the petitions he asked for; the holy Spirit making intercession in his heart, according to the will of God. And to such a degree of confidence in him, did he arrive by this means, that in the greatest straits of his life (and he met with some things which came home to him, with the deepest sensibility) he was more than kept up; so that he seemed to fear nothing, even where, to all human apprehension, every thing was to be feared. He so abandoned himself to God, in the discharge of his duty, that his very friends were sometimes ready to charge him with being a little rash or imprudent. Altho’ he endeavoured to use his understanding as far as ever it would go; yet acting in view of those things which are not seen, and from motives referring to eternity, he was not, it is true, so attentive to the decorums among men, as mere human prudence would have dictated. And in reality it is a truth, which is learned from a series of experience, and confirmed by numberless examples, that whoever would do much for God, should take care of being (in a sense) too wise. There is reason to think, that if the apostles themselves had consulted the directions of bare human reason, they never had undertook the conversion of the world.

An habitual spirit of mortification served as wings to his prayer. And perhaps the want of this, is, much more than is commonly thought, a grand cause of that indisposedness to, and weariness in prayer, which is so generally complained of among Christians; many of whom are often even glad of a pretended occasion to avoid the duty. “Something is amiss in us, and it wanted a name, till the Spirit of God, by enjoining us the duty of mortification, hath taught us to know, that want of mortification of spirit, is the case of all, at least of many of our secret and spiritual indispositions. The excellencies of heaven cannot be discerned but by a spirit disrelishing the low appetites of the world. Unless our spirit be mortified, we neither love to pray, nor does God love to hear us.” We find all the way thro’ our heavenly journey, that to be carnally minded, in the least degree, is a proportionable degree of death. And that a mind truly spiritual alone, has true life and peace.

It is hard to say positively which he was most remarkable for, the spirit or the gift of prayer, tho’ it need not be told which he most esteemed. His public character, made it right and necessary for him, to desire and endeavour after spiritual gifts. And the eminency to which he arrived therein in general, is too well known to need a particular relation. To hear him, on some occasions pour out his soul to God, made one often think, whence hath a man these things? Such a sluice of divine oratory ran thro’ the whole of his language on religious subjects, as is rarely to be met with. His public addresses to God, were commonly well nigh altogether, in the words of the Holy Ghost. *It seemed as tho’ he turned the whole bible into words of adoration, confession, petition, supplication, thanksgiving and glory: while at the same time his expressions glowed with the love of God: and all this with such ardour, intention, pertinency and faith, that it has seemed sometimes (one time in particular was peculiarly noticed) as tho’ the heavens were burst open, and God himself appeared in the congregation. Something of that Acts iv. 31. was often conceived while he prayed. But he made no account of this with regard to the perfection of his own soul. He made it his chief aim to follow after love, and to live in a momentary spirit of watchful prayer.

*He has sometimes had very remarkable answers to prayer. One only I shall mention. A number of religious societies both in England and Ireland appointed a public fast, for the imploring God, to restore to health an eminent servant of the church, who had been some time under languishment of body. Mr. Walsh was then in Dublin, and pouring out his soul about noon, he spoke aloud, in a manner which shewed it not to be of himself, and said he shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. And, blessed be God, the event shewed the prediction to be of God.

Towards the latter part of his progress, and before his last sickness in particular, his prayer had less of labour in it than formerly; and consisted for the most part, of a passive receiving the impressions of the divine Spirit: God acting rather in him, than he acted himself. And so still, and recollected did he frequently appear herein, that it was as if God was visibly before him, and that he spoke to the divine Majesty, with nearness of access, and child-like familiarity. Indeed every object and occurrence, spoke to him of God: nor could there be wanting to him, at any time or place, incentives to raise his heart in prayer or praise to him whom his soul loved.

One particular which he learned in the course of his experience, was, that altho’ the lights which are received from God in the way of prayer, are, of all others, to be most faithfully attended to; yet nevertheless, one ought not to act upon every appearance of this kind; that the enemy of man’s salvation can, and often does, mimick the Spirit of God; and as an angel of light, imposes upon the servants of God, by representing as from him, that which is often no other than Satan’s illusions, or our own imagination: on account of which, some persons have in most ages, been led into grievous mistakes, and improprieties of conduct. He perceived danger with regard to himself from this quarter, and was therefore very sparing in mentioning much of what he often felt. He weighed every thing by the word of God, avoided precipitancy of conduct, and making haste; and at the same time, laboured continually to abandon himself, as it were blindfold to the teaching of the Spirit of truth, and of purity.

II. Redeeming the time.

In order to do this effectually, his manner was to draw up a plan in writing (till use made it familiar to him) of the manner, in which he judged it most profitable to spend the day. He distributed it into certain portions, and assigned to each its particular employment: allowing only for occasional interruptions in the business of his profession. Reading the scriptures, prayer, and visiting the sick, had the grand places in this division. He could never find any leisure for mere, ceremonious visits, or unnecessary conversation of any kind. Even at meals, and indeed in every little incidental matter he ceased not to pursue his main end of living: namely, to get, and to do good in his generation.

*It was really surprizing, to see his thriftiness in this particular. He even deprived himself of such indulgences as nature required, in order to her performing the offices he imposed upon her: such, for example, as abstaining from all study immediately after meals: when, notwithstanding he eat exceeding sparingly, more relaxation would have been better for his health: likewise, a sufficient quantity of proper exercise; but most of all, a sufficiency of sleep.

He was often up late at study, and his general time of rising was four o’clock, or a little after, sometimes between three and four. He was often urged to take more rest. I remember once to have heard a gentlewoman, compassionating the wasting, dying condition of his body, saying, “Sure Mr. Walsh, you may at least, lie longer in bed on Sunday morning, when the preaching is not so early.” To which he replied with his usual zeal and abrupt plainness, ‘Should a man rob God?’ He was commonly up earliest on the Lord’s-day, for which he had the highest veneration. He has sometimes said, he thought there was something peculiarly sacred in the very air, and the whole structure of nature on this day.

*During the long intimacy I had with him, I do not remember to have known him spend a minute in discourses about national occurrences, politics, or worldly diversions. He knew that these were not his affairs, and that his business was One. And the same may be said of what is called free and pleasant conversation. So provident was he of time, and so bent upon the pursuit of that “immense revenue which each moment pays,” that in whatsoever company he was, unless something relative to the one thing needful was discoursed of, he either took out a book (impolite as it may seem) or continued in profound silence, save when he answered a question. And if at any time any thing vain, or tending to levity was spoken, so as to occasion the least appearance of approbation in his looks or gesture, he severely reprehended himself for it afterwards, and prayed for strength for the time to come.

And yet notwithstanding all his caution, care, and diligence, he frequently lamented his not improving the time better, ‘I do not use every moment to the best purposes,’ was a frequent reflection with him against himself.

III. Disengagement from the world.

Although what has been said of him already, implies his just contempt of every earthly thing; yet his eminency therein, deserves to be taken some farther notice of. His indifferency to this world was such, as even bordered upon abhorrency; and the rather, as he could not but observe, what a gulph to souls it is; and how many are lost for ever through their undue attachment to it. He kept at the utmost distance from what worldly men most ardently court, and earnestly sought what they most abhor.

The vain things; riches, honours, and pleasures of this world, were too poor, for so generous a heart: he shewed the greatness of his soul, by despising all that was beneath it. He had the most generous contempt of money; esteeming it (unless to bestow on the poor, or procure a book sometimes) as the pebbles in the street.

He had a full reliance on the providence of God, and found a happiness therein, which infinitely surpassed all the enjoyments and treasures of the universe.

IV. Recollection of spirit, and government of his thoughts.

*His carriage, aspect, words, and the whole of his behaviour, spoke the solemnity and profound recollection of his soul. Nor can a stranger better conceive of him, in regard to this particular, than by forming to himself, an idea of a person returned from the happy dead, conversing with men. And it was nearly in this manner that some have expressed their surprize at him. A gentleman said to me one day, “I met Mr. Walsh in the street, and I declare he seemed to me like a person returned from the other world.” So emaciated a countenance, such fixedness of thought, and serenity of deportment, as appeared in him, towards the conclusion of his race especially, were surprising in so young a man; and discovered a something, very different from the busy ways of men. One needed only to look on him to perceive that there was something in him more than common. And if as the son of Sirach says, “A man may be known by his look, and one that has understanding may be perceived by the marking of his countenance,” they must be indeed, superficial observers, that could not discern in his very aspect the excellencies that dwelt within him. An air of wisdom and piety appeared in him continually. There seemed to be something peculiarly distinguishing in the very features of his countenance. Some have taken him to be little less than forty years of age, at the time he was but about five and twenty.

*His uniform composure was the rather to be noticed, as his life was not of the recluse, but of the popular kind. He had to do with multitudes; and, unless on special occasions, was seldom above six hours together out of company. It is true he seldom appeared in publick, unless to speak of the things of eternity, in some respect or other. But he was so shut in with God, that all places became alike to him; and he retained the same attention to God in the most thronged streets of London, as he could have had in the most sequestered wilderness. Curious sights, elegant furniture in shops or houses, magnificent buildings, fine shews, the ringing of bells, firing of guns, with every thing of this kind; were no more to him than the chirping of a sparrow, or the buzzing of a fly.

*To all which, the constant government which he had over his senses, greatly contributed. The difference of tastes, harmony of sounds, and whatever his eyes could behold, were as nothing to him. He was in this respect truly crucified to the world, and the world to him. Even in travelling through the most pleasant parts of the country, and in the pleasantest seasons, when the stupendous beauties of the creation, the spacious firmament, the verdure of the country, (nature’s loveliest universal robe;) the music of the groves, and all the joint beauties of nature, might have furnished him with delightful contemplation; yet he seemed insensible to the whole, enjoying a

“Paradise within him happier far!”

*When he at any time adverted to the works of God in the creation, he was delighted chiefly with the heavens, paved as it were, with those living fires, the spangled stars. But the use which he made of every thing, was to get more acquainted with God, and so

——by this stupendous scaffolding

Creation’s golden steps to climb to him!

He was in truth loosed from earth’s inclosure, and from the contracted circle of the sun, his heart was set at large. Christ, and the scriptures, with things pertaining to them, were the only and uniform objects of his attention, and every thing, place or person, which did not serve to promote, in some degree, his knowledge and love of these, had with him the estimate of trivial and insignificant.

*And hence it was, that the presence of God became so exceeding familiar to him. He could not be content a moment without it. And hereby was he fitted likewise, for more glorious, and more frequent divine communications; of which he had not a few, in the course of his progress. Several times has he been quite lost to himself, and insensible of every thing about him, being left in the visions of God. Two instances in particular are related in his diary, in which he seemed as though he was out of the body for sometime. One day I remember going to visit a person who was ill, as soon he got to the stair case, being in his usual composure, “Did you see that light?” said he, with a sudden low voice. To which I answered partly with a sigh, having seen nothing. He said no more. But it was easy to discern in him the rest of that day and night, a very peculiar solemnity of soul.

In places of publick worship, he hardly ever saw any body, so as to distinguish them; and in every means of grace, his grand aim was, to find more of God within him. He waited for this in lively earnest composure; and thus approaching the Lord’s table in particular, he ate the flesh and drank the blood of the Son of God indeed. “My heart burned! Was in a flame! O what a fire of divine love was there!” were the frequent memorials which he left in his diary, after communicating those heavenly sweets, which often overflowed his soul at the altar, and spread their inundation over every other part of his holy living. His recollection carried itself into the midst of all his labours, in which he was still preserved, without dissipation, notwithstanding their multiplicity, and sometimes intricate nature. It was very usual with him to express what he felt of God, by the simile of fire, to which the operations of the Holy Ghost are frequently compared in scripture. He often felt in prayer, in preaching, and walking, a kind of scorching within him, from the love of God. And from the abundance of the heart, his mouth generally spoke. Words of life, and fire issued as it were out of his lips, which were no other than the sparks of a burning heart. And often he could hardly refrain from expressing the holy raptures of his soul out aloud; as, O holy God! Glorious Jehovah! Blessed Jesus! Son of the living God! He used frequently to stand up and sing,

O love, how chearing is thy ray!

All pain before thy presence flies!

Care, anguish, sorrow melt away,

Where’er thy healing beams arise;

O Jesu, nothing may I see,

Nothing hear, feel, or think but thee!

Give to my eyes refreshing tears,

Give to my heart chase hallow’d fires,

Give to my soul with filial fears,

The love that all heaven’s host inspires:

That all my powers with all their might

In thy sole glory may unite!

There was at first an eagerness in his spirit for the success of his labours, but he in time became unanxious on the head, being taught of God, that having done his part, he should think no more about the matter, but still go on straight forward, keeping himself in repose with God: in imitation of the angels, who continually watch over the souls, which God hath given them in charge; but who lose nothing of their tranquility or happiness, even when their utmost care is unsuccessful.

And from hence partly, arose that extreme tenderness of conscience, which was so remarkable in him, and which gave him a constant holy jealousy over himself in every thing he did; so that not a word, motion, or a look, could escape him, unexamined or uncensured, if it deserved it; hence likewise it was, that he had so very peculiar a regard to all his words; speaking either to the purpose, that is, when occasion required him to speak, or not at all. And yet notwithstanding his utmost circumspection, he was deeply conscious, how far short he still came of that rectitude, and entire renovation becoming a person in fellowship with the God of unspotted holiness.

CHAPTER ♦XII.

♦ “V.” replaced with “XII.”

Some particulars relating to the head of his communion with God.

V.

H  IS great rule was to imitate our Lord Jesus Christ, in the most perfect manner he could. The whole tenor of his conduct plainly discovered, that he sought nothing but God. There was in the chastity of his manners, a purity next to angelical; and a circumspection in his every step, which declared, that to him to live was Christ. He kept at the utmost distance from sensual indulgences of every kind. His senses were kept under the closest custody, and he examined his conscience almost continually. Nor could it be observed at any time, that he acted otherwise than within the rules of the utmost decency.

VI.

*He was a man of tears, and sighs, and groans. He wanted not indeed the joy of a good conscience; and knowing continually in whom he believed, he enjoyed the benefits resulting therefrom, and yet this notwithstanding, the whole of his Christian pilgrimage, was interspersed with much weeping. He seldom had a dry handkerchief a whole day together; his eyes being for the most part, in private especially, as opened fountains; and which did not cease to flow in the night season. How often have I known him water his pillow with those briny rivers! Sometimes lamenting his two great estrangement from his beloved; sometimes mourning for the mourners; but oftener than all, he was sick of love! Love to the Crucified!

To some indeed, there seemed in him something, at least bordering upon, an unyielding austerity of spirit: and so much is true, that with regard to men, and evil angels, he was undaunted, and courageous, as a lion, in the cause of God, and of a good conscience: yet, in other respects, he was a man of the keenest sensibility, and tenderest affections. He was in the presence of his invisible observer, pliant as melted wax, and cloathed with dove-like meekness. He was often, as it were, deluged in tears, prostrate before the footstool of his Lord’s majesty, and overwhelmed with a sense of his glory.

VII.

He was without affectation, a man of humility; not indeed so as to disown, or not to make use of the gifts and graces, with which God had endowed him: this would have been to lie against the truth; but notwithstanding all that he had, yet taking knowledge whence it came, he esteemed himself as nothing; but was truly diffident of, and heartily despised himself. And the only use which he made of the superior qualifications which God bestowed upon him, was to consider himself as obliged thereby, to devote himself more abundantly to the service of God, and of his neighbour. The praises of others served only to abase him, at the sight of his own nothingness. ‘Lord, I am vile! a worm! O deliver me from this evil man myself! Thou only art worthy,’ were the frequent expressions of his lips and pen. If any person, at any time, gave him but the smallest hint, by way of reproof, he received it either with silence, or thankfulness, according to the manner and occasion thereof. And supposing it to be a matter in which he was really without blame, yet the reproof was not lost upon him. He thereby took occasion, to enter more deeply into himself, making the strictest scrutiny into the whole of his tempers and behaviour. He often said to God on these occasions, ‘Lord, though thou knowest I am clear in this matter, yet, alas! How many things are there for which I stand reproved before thee! My God, I adore thee in this, which thou hast permitted.’ He often repeated as a lesson of instruction to himself, those words of Kempis, “Thou dust, learn to obey. Thou earth and clay, learn to demean thyself. Thou oughtest to be such a little child, that every body might trample thee under their feet in the streets.”

VIII.

There was the utmost steadiness in the whole of his religious conduct. The course of the sun, and the seasons, is not more regular, than were his successive exercises of prayer, meditation, preaching, and study; so that from knowing how he spent one day, may be gathered, his manner of spending whole months, or years; allowing only for the difference of circumstances and occasions. Thus it was in things pertaining to God, and his service; though at the same time, his attention to himself, his ease and conveniencies, was such, that some have accounted it not less than blame-worthy negligence: so truly did he live, not to himself, or the will of man, but to God.

IX.

The love of God was the fountain, whence issued forth those fruitful streams, which rendered his soul flourishing as the garden of the Lord, and extended their salutary influence all around, wherever he came. It was to this he reduced every thing. All his works were done in love, and therefore wrought in God. It was a debt he was ever paying, and from which he was never to be discharged.

‘My God, let me love thee! Jesus, Son of the living God, thou knowest that I love thee! O love divine, what hast thou done! O that all the world did but know thee! How would they then love thee, thou altogether lovely!’ To this effect he often breathed out the warm emotions of his heart: so deeply was he penetrated with the love of God his Saviour. He was always exceedingly pleased with, and frequently repeated those lines,

“Eternity too short to speak thy praise!

Or fathom thy profound of love to man!”

And again, without regarding their connexion; but overwhelmed with the thought of the dying love of Jesus, he would utter sometimes abruptly, and with astonishment,

“Sensations new in angel bosoms rise

Suspend their song; and make a pause in bliss.”

*Lastly, By faith I stand! was his concluding point, after all that God had done for him. And it was not unusual with him to say, on the closest examination of all he was, and all he did, “If Christ forsook me but for a moment, I should fall and perish after all.” Yes, it was from his fullness he received all his good things, and with the dependent helplessness of an infant, he had recourse to him continually, for light, and strength, and love: for every thing in short, which he wanted. He could be happy only in conversation with him; delighted peculiarly in those parts of scripture which describe and endear him; and from the fulness of his whole soul, repeated often, God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of my Lord Jesus Christ. To him that hath loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, to him be the glory, both now and to eternity!

*To sum up this head. He thought prayer to be more his business than any thing else in this world; and from the desire which he had to redeem the time, he employed great part of the night, as well as the day, in prayer, meditation, study, and labouring for the good of his neighbour. He was profoundly serious, and always recollected at home and abroad. He watched over every motion of his soul, keeping his thoughts in subjection to Christ continually. He proposed to himself the man Christ Jesus, as his great model and rule in every thing; imitating him especially, in the purity of his body, and in the chastity of his affections. Walking in deep humility before God, he was patient of reproof, nor ever retorted any thing, with heat or prejudice. There was a steadiness in his proceedings for God, and in reference to eternity, which not all the powers of earth and hell were able to interrupt. He ate but little, wept much, loved more, received all by faith; and rarely opened his mouth, but about heavenly things.

PART III.

CHAPTER I.

An extract from Mr. Thomas Walsh’s diary, relating chiefly, to the experience of his own soul, in his course of walking with God.

C  ONCERNING the extract which here follows, it may be premised, 1. That although there was the utmost uniformity in the whole series of his progress; nevertheless, few persons were so sensible of various alterations in spirit, with respect to the sensations of joy and sorrow; delight in God, and complainings for the want of it: owing in great measure to a singular tenderness of conscience; and the close attention which he had to all the movements of his inward man; so that things which some overlook, or entirely disregard, were esteemed by him, with regard to himself at least, as capital defections, from the law of perfect liberty and love.

His diary consists of the feeling of his own heart, through every part of his Christian race, with scarce a single hour omitted. He always wrote down reflections upon himself, as either the pressure, or felicity of his soul at that time suggested; adding any spiritual observation, or maxim, which his own experience confirmed to him.

2. It will be easily discerned, that the peculiarity of his writing, is a certain sententious abruptness; owing in part to the genius of the Hebrew tongue, in which his latter studies wholly terminated. Though what most contributed thereto, was the rapid flow of his soul, on the subjects of which he either spoke or wrote, which raised him above attending to that accuracy, which writings, at least of a public nature require. In many places there is therefore a manifest deficiency, both as to words, particles and stops; in short, like the writings of the antients, without period or paragraph, in most places: so that liberty has been necessarily taken to add, retrench, or alter, sometimes a word, or sentence, to render the sense intelligible; though still retaining his sense entire.

3. The inserting the precise date of every day’s experience, is judged unnecessary. Moreover the experience of several days, sometimes distant from each other, (tho’ rarely above a week) are thrown into the same paragraph, for the sake of brevity. The series of particulars, as to the order of time, is related as they occurred; and every paragraph begins with the experience of a distant day.

The reader being advertised of these particulars, we proceed to the extract itself.

“At the close of this last day of the year, (1750, the year in which he began to preach) I examined myself how I had lived the past year? And could only say, I had not wickedly departed from my God; but was heartily ashamed that I had not glorified him better; resolving to watch for the time to come.”

*“I prayed to God for quietness, and humility of mind; and found assistance against ‘this evil man, myself.’ O for a heart constantly fixed on God! I was reproved this day in spirit for an idle word.”

“The Lord was with me all this day. I desire to be with the Lord continually, that my communion may be stronger with Jesus than ever. O, it is heaven upon earth to have Christ in ones heart. It is the beginning of the glory of God, to receive the lovely Jesus; and with him, the joy of the Holy Ghost. O that I had the tongue of an angel to praise my Lord! Hasten Lord the glad hour when I shall see thee as thou art!”

“I preached this morning on the great and precious promises, Ezekiel xxxvi. My soul aspired to have them accomplished; for I feel the evil of my nature, and especially the evil heart of unbelief that is within me.”

“Friday, February 22. I preached this morning on Song of Solomon ii. 8. but was both dark and weak, having scarcely any power to explain any thing. O what a grief it is for one to preach, when he is left to himself, when the Lord is not his present strength and teacher! To preach consolation to others, and feel none himself! This exposes one to great temptation.”

“Saturday 23. My soul enjoyed sweet repose in the blood of the Lamb, while my heart was engaged in meditation on his dying love. O, where can we find an instance of such love, as that of God to men on Calvary! When the innocent died for a guilty world, to bring them to God!”

“Wednesday 27. I was not alive to God to-day. Unnecessary talk brought deadness upon my soul.”

“Great part of this day I lived as in heaven. Heaven was within me. God was in my soul. The influences of his Spirit wrought so powerfully upon me, that my joy was beyond expression. O the length and breadth, and height, of the love of God! Well may it be said to pass knowledge. The spiritual man may discern it, but cannot set it forth in the manner he feels it. Those words of Isaiah lxi. 10. lifted up my soul, as in a fiery chariot, above the fabric of this world. I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God, for he hath cloathed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ointments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels. I could say, that the Lord had so done for my soul. O what enemies are the children of men to their own souls? They deprive themselves of happiness here, and of eternal glory hereafter; imagining that earthly enjoyments are above what religion can afford. But alas! it is because they know not this religion which brings such happiness to the soul.”

*“O how sweet was Jesus to my soul. The rose for sweetness; the lilly for whiteness; the apple-tree for fruitfulness; what are they all to thee! Entering into my closet, the moment I bowed my knee, the Lord poured down a blessing into my soul. O what a heaven upon earth did I experience for some moments! Tongue cannot express the goodness of God to my soul. O where shall I find words to praise? How am I lost in the ocean, of the immensity of thy mercy! Lord, I know not how to give thee thanks. Where to begin, I cannot tell. O my soul, fall into silent amazement! Let all I have, or am, drop into nothing!”

“March, Friday 8. This was a day of much temptation; but God, for my support and confirmation, was pleased to give me fresh manifestations of his love.”

“Reading and prayer to day, were of little comfort to me. If it were not that I find the abiding witness of the Spirit in my soul, my bondage would be very great. It is the goodness of God which preserves me in the faith. The enemies of my salvation are thrusting sore at me from day to day. Defend, and keep me, O my God, for Jesu’s sake.”

“In prayer, I saw the great difficulty of being a Christian in reality. There are many who eat their own bread, and wear their own apparel, and are willing to be called by the name of Jesus, to take away their reproach—The abomination of being called Heathens. But they love notwithstanding, the ways of death, and darkness, rather than light; and do what Heathens would not do. The ninety-first psalm was made a great blessing to me, the ninth verse especially.”

“This morning the Lord gave me language that I knew not of, raising my soul to him, in a wonderful manner. After preaching however in the evening, at my return to my room, I felt little life in my soul, but a Spirit of slothfulness. O what a poor creature! How incapable of thinking a good thought, or doing a truly good action! Sinful dust and ashes.”

Friday 22. In the morning I had an earnest desire to be dissolved, and to be with Christ. I wanted to see Jesus, who bore and suffered so much for me.”

“The 25th, my soul was very dull. I had a desire to pray, but could not, through the deadness of my heart, and wandering of my thoughts. This is a thing I have to complain of in general; namely, wandering in prayer, want of earnestness and fervour.”

“The 29th, I cannot say, that till three o’clock I had true communion with God. But then, the Lord clearly manifested himself to me.”

“1751. April 6. I had not much of the presence of God, nor of the comfort of the Holy Ghost, yet my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God!”

“O what an aversion I had this morning to study, and following the Lamb! If it were not for promises which the gospel affords, I should be often brought into bondage: very often is my soul cast down and my spirit disquieted within me; so that I must needs utterly faint, if it was not that I firmly hope I shall yet praise God for the health of his countenance. I felt neither comfort nor power in preaching. O what a poor creature am I when left to myself! How dark of conception; how slow of heart and speech! It sometimes happens, that while I am thus writing down my condition, the Lord appears to my help: so it is now; for God has been pleased to manifest himself unto me! And O what a welcome guest! At his coming my reins and my heart rejoice; my troubles are done away; my soul is greatly refreshed; my faith strengthened; my hope confirmed, and my love encreased. Glory be to God most high!”

“God and his ways were sweet to my soul this morning. Great was the peace of my mind, and the joy which arose from considering what the Lord had done for my soul. O how did I long to be altogether like him, in righteousness and true holiness! Throughout the day, I enjoyed sweet repose in the blood of the Lamb. In the evening I preached on 1 Corinthians i. 30. And God did indeed pour of his gracious spirit into my soul. Truly we had a heaven upon earth! O that I had the tongue of an angel to glorify thee for all thy benefits!”

“Thursday May 23. I was in great trouble, going to preaching this morning. My temptations were sore, and my trials exceeding great; occasioned partly, by the condition of some, who for a time ran well, but are turned again to the flesh-pots of Egypt. While I preached however, on Psalms xxiii. 1. my Shepherd gave me to feed upon his hidden manna.”

*“I found it hard work to be wholly set apart for God this day. I preached comfort to others, but could lay hold on little of it myself.”

“I am often like a day in spring; the sun shining bright for a little while, and soon withdrawing again. The sun of righteousness often shines upon me, with his bright beams; but alas! the light is soon clouded, and the joy vanishes away. Yet still, blessed be God, my heart stands fast believing in the Lord. For I take it for granted, that the want of strong light and joy, no more argues want of faith, than the absence of unclouded day, argues no sun in the firmament.”

“An unusual fondness for company, brought deadness upon my soul. The vanities of the world importunately intruded upon me. If God were not on my side, I should have been long ago as Sodom, and like unto Gomorrah. Such vanities crouded in upon me at prayer, that even I forgot what I was saying. I am a man sorely distressed with the wandering of my heart. I arose from prayer and read, and prayed again. The Lord at length met me, and instantly released me from my sorrow, and gave me power to wait upon him without distraction.”

“Saturday June 12. Great was the comfort which I had in God. I had the full assurance of faith, that God was my God, and Christ my Saviour. O the happiness of knowing this!”

“Tuesday 28. I was deeply convinced of my depravity. O my God, I see the impurity of my heart in such a manner as frightens me. I know that Christ can have no communion with Belial; neither righteousness with unrighteousness. Lord break not the bruised reed, nor quench the smoaking flax. Rather send down thy Holy Spirit, and set me free from the power of indwelling sin. Consume it O God. Cast out the spirit of uncleanness for Christ’s sake.”

“This afternoon I walked in the fields, and had a sweet meeting with my Lord. He gave me his love.”

“Sunday morning. I was so stupid, that I could scarcely pray. Wandring thoughts crouded in upon me. O for an heart to pray. I find in general, that under the most afflictive trials, when I can in fervent prayer pour out my soul before the Lord, he gives me instant relief. But when I cannot pray, O then is my life burthensome to me; I cannot bear myself.”

“The word this morning, was sweet to the souls of the people. They seemed to drink of the fountain of the water of life. I had a glorious manifestation of the love of God to my soul. My delight surely is in the Lord, and his Son Jesus Christ. Thou art my God, my love, my joy, my help, my health, and my all in all! Blessed be thy name, Amen.”

“Too much given to talk; had not the usual longing after prayer and meditation. Yet the Lord helps mine infirmity.”

“I had great joy in my soul, and longing desires to be with Christ. O that even now, I could behold his lovely face, and amiable countenance!”

“Friday, July 9th. I had a lively sense of the Lord’s having blotted out my former transgressions; and that he had promised to give me a clean heart. I had great peace; my soul being filled with the love of God.”

“Saturday 10. Exercised this morning by false accusations. My only concern was, lest it should hinder the work of God. But in consideration of his over-ruling power and providence, I rested patiently on his will. My Jesus was made perfect through sufferings. O that I may be enabled to follow my master, in the way of the cross!”

Walking in a garden this day, God made it an Eden to my soul; pouring his love into my heart. I partook of the water and the tree of life: and the hidden manna was rained from heaven into my soul!

Monday 19. All the day, my soul thirsted for the living God. I was transported, and exceedingly rejoiced in reading some divine meditations. O my God, What shall I say? Angels cannot praise thee worthily! What then shall I who am a worm of the earth do? O that I had wings like a dove? Lovely Jesus, when shall I see thy face, joining the rest of the redeemed, to celebrate the wonders of thy redeeming love! O that this were the moment! My soul shall ere long take its flight to the mansions, which I firmly believe my Saviour is preparing for me. O my God, my Saviour, my all!

“Thursday 25. I had but little light or power. The Lord humbled, and shewed me mine own weakness; but did not leave me to it. He shewed me clearly, that it was neither to my graces, humblings, desires, doings, or sufferings I must trust for happiness and salvation, but in Christ alone.”

“Ah, Lord, who is sufficient for these things! O let me die, that I may see thee! Whither is my beloved gone? Return Lord, return. I am a feeble and helpless creature. Yet rejoice not against me, O mine enemy; for though I fall into temptations, heaviness, and trials, I shall rise again. O proud Philistines, deceitful Delilahs, inbred sin, pride of heart, anger, and folly, who can remove you. Lord Jesus, thou canst, and thou alone.”

“At the sacrament, O how did my soul banquet in Jesus! What divine consolation did I feel in God my Saviour.”

“Wednesday 23. Tempted to laugh on my very knees, O Lord my God be my rock. Hide me in thy wounds, and deliver me from myself. O Jesus I cry out of the deeps, hear my prayer, and let my cry come up before thee!”

“Sure I am, that if my salvation depended on ought but the love of God my Saviour, I never should see the Lord. Alas I am all weakness, unbelief, disobedience, and darkness. My soul was weighed down with inbred sin. But I no sooner began to complain, and bewail myself before him, than he poured his love upon me, and gave me sweet access to him.”

“1752. January 6. I could hardly account to myself, how my thoughts had been employed this day. O that they were every moment taken up in the contemplation of thy wondrous love and compassion to me, and all the fallen race; O for an humble, lowly, simple, pure, and perfect mind! What shall I say to thee, thou delight of my heart? How much fairer art thou than the sons of men!”

*“When I look back upon my life I can see nothing that does not need to be washed with the blood of Christ. My best actions are imperfect I have need to fly to my Saviour, that from him I might receive that robe, which is pure and compleat. My whole desire is to be devoted to thee!”

“Ashamed, to lift my eyes up to heaven. I fell down before the Lord my maker; and I may well say that he waited to be gracious; for before I could utter many words his love filled my heart. I could then look up with confidence, and saw my Father God, smile upon me, and my dear Redeemer at his right hand full of grace and truth for me. O how sweetly did the ever blessed Trinity join to bless me! Help me to praise thee, O thou strength of Israel.”

“God was much with me in private. O what a heaven upon earth is it, to commune with him in prayer, holy reading, and divine meditation. Jesus is a well of life. How blessed is it to hold intimacy with him! This is paradise indeed.”

“Sunday. It was a glorious sabbath to my soul.”

“Part of this day was the happiest I ever yet saw. I could freely depart to be with him whom my soul loveth. Truly I seemed to antedate the sweetness of the celestial felicity, which the glorified spirits enjoy above! My song was praises to my God.”

“Had calm repose in God. A day of sore temptation. I was kept, but thro’ momentary watching unto prayer. O what am I! How weak, how blind, how poor! As to strength, a bruised reed; for love and zeal, as the ♦smoaking flax. But thou, O God, art strong, and in thee is my hope.”

♦ “somaking” replaced with “smoaking”

“Ill in body, dark in mind, dead in affections, and sorely troubled with temptations. Yet I was preserved from inclining to iniquity with my heart.”

“Sunday. My soul agonized to enter into the rest of the people of God. I saw him by faith, and the promises were strongly brought to my remembrance, especially, ‘Ask what you will, and it shall be done unto you.’”

“1753. March 7. In the morning there was an open intercourse between God and my soul, which for some hours remained undisturbed. About noon I felt sore war between nature and grace; so that I was brought low. Nature would have me manage for myself, grace was for casting all my care upon God. O thou author of every good gift, send me help from thy holy place to subdue the old man. Take away the perverseness of my own natural will, and make me lowly and patient as thou my Lord art. Thou art the source of grace and of goodness. In thee, O Lamb of God, is all I want.”

“Thursday 8. Poured out my soul before the Lord, who gave me to feel hearty contrition with earnest desires to be sanctified wholly. For

“O how wavering is my mind

Tost about with every wind?

O how quickly doth my heart

From the living God depart.”

“Son of God, set me free, and knit my soul to thyself!”

“Saturday 10. The Lord sweetly refreshed my spirit, I was strongly moved to pour out my soul, for my enemies, and all that forget God. There was a burning in my heart after all the life of God. Nothing appeared so desirable as holiness. O God take the whole capacity of my soul, and possess it by thy spirit.”

“Sunday 25. I have had a proof to day of the vanity and uncertainty of human friendship. Some who loved and greatly esteemed me when I left Dublin, about ten weeks ago, will now, at my return, hardly speak to me. O that I may seek friendship and all good in God alone.”

*“Some words I heard this morning pierced me to the very soul. Enter not into judgment with thy servant, O Lord. I fly to Jesus, the just one, to hide me in his wounds. He is my sanctuary, the ark, the covenant, and the true altar. Come my life, my treasure, and my God, shine into this drooping heart. Have I not an interest in thy blood! Am I not a child of thine, O God? Hast thou not said unto me, live? O that thy powerful voice would now speak to my soul, and bless me, O my Father!”

“How little do I know of God, or of myself? O what a mystery is man? How difficult to find, and then to lose himself! Lord, I long to be settled and fixed in thee! O how does this mortal body press down the soul!”

“Saturday April 21. Strengthened in the hope of full redemption. Jesus forsake me not, or I shall be of all men most miserable!”

“Wednesday May 4. Woke with the presence of God. Jesus was amiable, and altogether lovely to my soul. My heart was carried out in praise to him for redeeming me, and making me his own for ever, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost.”

*“I earnestly longed after inward holiness: the image of God brought into my soul. For then only shall I be truly happy, when self-love, self-will, and all other roots of bitterness are rooted out of my heart, and the pure love of God overflows my whole soul. When Jesus is the supreme and sole governor, and all things within, are subdued by his grace; then the heart rests in peace, and all things move in their proper time and manner. The soul is retired, tho’ in the midst of hurry; and sweet peace, and joy flow from Jehovah, their source. This is the victory, the salvation, the liberty, the deliverance from sin, which very few believe, and which no one can know, save he that receiveth it. But it is the privilege of the children of God, and every one who sincerely seeks and with all his might, strives for it, shall surely attain, by the Spirit of the Lord; for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.”

“Friday 31. After preaching, gave myself to my usual study. O freedom of heart, and contempt of the world, how great blessings are ye? Plentifully did the Lord shower his love into my soul this day, in our public meeting. Verily thou art the pleasure of my soul, the hope and desire of my heart.”

“This day God prepared me for a sore trial, by giving me sweet repose in his love. I lived as it were in heaven. My soul was ravished with his sweetness. So was I enabled to bear with calmness and patience, the abusive language of one who came to my room, breathing out threatenings against me. Alas, How many are there who are great friends in profession, but not such in reality.”

“Saturday August 29. In the night I was grievously tempted of the devil. He injected such blasphemies, and threw such fiery darts as I never experienced before. I was sore amazed, and cried unto the Lord Jesus. He heard my cry, bruised his head and delivered my soul from his rage and fury. Lord, thou upholdest me, or I should fall! O stay with me, till I arrive safe in thy kingdom!”

“Sunday, September 1. Was a day of feasting and rejoicing to my soul. I had sweet converse with my Beloved, while I joyed in his salvation. I proclaimed his name to thousands, from Jeremiah vi. 10. And never felt more freedom to preach my Saviour. O my Lord, thou art precious to my soul, and thy service is my reward!”

“1754. Sunday, March. At the Lord’s supper this morning, my soul was dissolved with divine love. I could bless God that ever I was born to so happy and glorious an end, as to love and praise and serve my Redeemer. Yes, Jesus, thou art precious to my soul. Thy yoke is easy, and thy commandments holy and just and good. I desire to keep them with my whole heart.”

“The more I see of the world, the less happiness I can discern in it. Happy are they who are well out of it. Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his.”

“I wept and rejoiced that God had given me a soul capable of loving him. In reading and meditating in the open air, my soul tasted of the joys in part, which those spirits enjoy who behold his face continually.”

“My soul vehemently groaned and longed for full redemption, while it enjoyed sweet converse with my dear Lord Jesus.”

“Saturday 23. I had intercourse with heaven all day. I thirsted for the salvation of all men, as for my own soul. I was also deeply humbled before the Lord, seeing myself the most vile and unworthy of all his creatures. He likewise made willing to be despised and evil spoken of. And I cannot but admire the wisdom and goodness of God, in so preparing me for what soon followed. One of my acquaintance, that went with me to the house of God, laid to my charge things which I knew not. I sent for him, but he could say nothing to my face. His mouth was stopped, and he seemed quite ashamed. I felt much patience and pity towards him. Lord Jesus, give him repentance, and take prejudice out of his heart.”

“Friday, May 3. I had a feeling sense of the treasures of grace and glory, which are laid up for me, both here, and in heaven. O what a heaven did I experience in being able to call God, my God, and my Father!”

CHAPTER II.

The extract from his diary continued.

T  HE account of his experience, given in the preceding chapter, begins with the first year of his conversion; in which likewise he began to labour for the good of his neighbour. And it may be observed, that in his progress, the experience of his heart, had its certain progressive stages, resembling in some degree, that of the shining light, or sun: a day suppose, whose early dawn is clear and promising, and whose light and heat still increase ere long, is overcast with clouds, and disturbed with tempest: the sun however keeps his course, and still goes on to the perfect day. Such likewise is the path of the just, and such was the experience of this servant of God.

The first display of the divine goodness to his soul in justification, was so clear, and his joy thereupon was so exceeding strong, that he had then no expectation of seeing war any more. And he was indeed carried on sweetly, for some considerable time.

But whatever was the cause he afterwards felt otherwise; often groaning under a body of sin and death; complaining of struggles, between nature and grace; and of inconstancy and weakness in general: with ardent pourings out of his soul to God, for complete deliverance. And his thirst after it was considerably augmented, by the transient tastes, with which it pleased God to favour him from time to time, of the heaven of loving him alone, with all the powers of his soul.

The feeling of his heart in reference thereto; the methods which he pursued in order to attain it, and the progress which by the grace of God he made therein, are the subject of this chapter. Only for the sake of some, who desire the fullest information concerning him, I shall prefix a letter he sent me to Bristol, from London, in answer to some enquiries which I made, occasioned by the following circumstance. Some months before he left London, the last time, a report prevailed that he professed to be cleansed from all sin. On my hearing this, I wrote to know it from himself. He sent me the following answer.

London, June 17, 1757.

“My dear Brother.

“  WHAT you mention concerning me, I answer thus. 1st. I feel the constant witness of the Spirit of God, that I am forgiven; and that I love God and my neighbour. 2dly. I do not feel any evil tempers. 3dly. I firmly believe that God will eternally save my soul. But whether all sin is taken out of my heart, and the possibility of grieving the Spirit of God, I do not determine; neither do I think that I love either God, or my neighbour as I ought, or as I shall. I am helpless, but God is my strength. I live by faith. I am ashamed. I have no wish, that any one should believe I am saved from all sin. Indeed I ought to justify every one that believes the contrary, supposing it was so. But alas! If Christ did not pray for me, and keep me every moment, I should go to the devil. Galatians ii. 19. is what I feel. Jesus Christ is all in all.

“I have written simply, make the best use you can of it; but say nothing of it to any one (this I request.¹) O let me be forgotten: not of God, or of his children in prayer: but as I desire no good to be said of me, I would not have any one sin against God in thinking, or speaking the evil which my heart abhors. It is much to the glory of God, to save a proud, angry, self-willed, fearful, and unbelieving sinner; therefore I almost say, that I glory in mine infirmities, that the strength, and grace of Christ, may rest upon me, and save me from them all; and this he will do, as sure as he is faithful and true.

“I am, your affectionate brother,

Thomas Walsh.”

¹ And his request was then carefully observed. But the present occasion, will be thought reason sufficient for publishing it.

His struggles, sentiments, and attainments, partly before, and partly after this letter, even to his death, are farther represented in the following extracts.

*“London, Sunday, June 2. All this forenoon I was raised above myself, and lost in God. Heaven as it were came down into my soul, and I saw the glory of the world to come! I beheld all the glory of this world, as the mire in the streets. But Oh, the views, which I had of heaven, and the foretaste of those ravishing joys, that flow there, so transported my soul, that I could bless God, that ever I was born.”

*“Tuesday 4. My soul was transported this day to such a degree, as greatly affected even my body. I do not recollect, that I ever before felt such a sense of the presence and glory of God. Surely if he should manifest himself a few degrees more to me, I could not live in the body!”

*“Sunday 9. I gave myself up to God. I heartily desire to give my whole heart, chearfully, and without reserve to thee my love! Many things would alienate it from thee. But O my Saviour, keep thou my every desire. Knit me closely to thyself, and suffer no false fire to abide in my heart. I acknowledge, O my God, that it is an amazing instance of thy love, that thou hast made me a child of thine. Let I beseech thee, thy goodness be the strongest tie to keep my heart stayed upon thee.”

“Tuesday 18. I was so low in body, that I could hardly speak or think. Oh, how does this corruptible body press down my soul! Yet I can praise God for his dispensations towards me; he afflicts me, that I may be partaker of his holiness.”

“At the Lord’s table I was in an agony for holiness. My soul, and even my body, were ready to faint with desire, and longing for all the mind that was in Christ Jesus.”

“Saturday, July 20. O how my soul laboured with God in secret prayer! I said in my heart, if I am indeed a child of God, Why have I not greater desires to depart, and to be with Christ? I prostrated myself before the throne of grace, and cried to God to answer me as by fire: and he soon silenced my despondences by answering in my heart, ‘My son, thou art mine.’”

“Wednesday, September 21. God overpowered my whole frame, so that my body fainted under the pouring out of the Spirit of Christ.”

*“Saturday, September 26. My heart was quite melted with a sense of the goodness of God, and of my own vileness. I think I now begin to repent; to have a godly sorrow for my sins. Of this I am well assured, that thoughts which were in my mind a year ago, are now a grief to me. The Spirit of God brings the sins of my whole life to my remembrance. I read them all, but more especially, whatever has been wrong in me, since I was converted. My spirit within me mourns, and my heart feelingly says, ‘Oh that I had never sinned! O that my soul and body had been always pure before thee! Oh that I had always the same light and power that God has given me now!’ But altho’ I am vile, yet this, blessed be God I know, there is now no condemnation to me: the blood of Christ hath washed away all my sins. I have the Spirit of adoption, and the peace of my God. I love him, and all his dear children; yea, and my enemies likewise. I hunger and thirst after righteousness. I rejoice in my God, and delight in doing his will. I know in whom I have believed. My name is written in heaven. Hallelujah!”

“Friday, November 22. I enjoyed a fulness of God in my soul; and had infinite sweetness in communion with my Saviour. Lord I am not worthy of these manifestations: But I see all is of free grace. I receive all through Christ the righteous. He drank the bitter cup, that I might drink the cup of consolation. Lord I would love thee infinitely, if I were able! My whole soul cries out for power to do thy will perfectly.”

“Monday December 2. I feel I am a mere nothing, and that if God withdraw his grace from me but for a moment, I should do nothing but sin.”

*“Sunday 22. All the day long my Lord was wonderfully present with me in every ordinance. Truly my soul longed vehemently to be, and live like my Saviour the holy Jesus. This indeed is the thing I aim at; and I believe according to the sure word of promise, I shall attain. O what depths and heights of holiness do I discern attainable in this world.”

*“I felt much shame before the Lord to day, for my unfaithfulness, and unfruitfulness. O God enter not into judgment with me for my sins of omission!”

*“Sunday July 4. I was troubled in my spirit because of lightness of heart, and speaking my own words, (Isaiah lviii.) How many idle words do I speak! It ill becomes a Christian, much more a preacher ever to laugh.”

“October 6. I rose with much sorrow and concern; and with shame and much brokenness of heart, bowed my soul before the Lord. My heaviness endured as it were but a moment, and the divine light shone transcendently bright upon my soul. Praying with a few friends, my joy in the Lord overcame my feeble body. And it proved to be a preparation for a trial, which came soon after. I had sweet communion with Jesus, and three of his redeemed ones this day. In the evening I pressed upon the people the necessity of inward life, from Acts v. 20.”

“My soul was mightily encouraged while I expounded, John xiv. 21–23. Inward and constant liberty is what I want; to be always recollected, having my mind stayed upon God. I would live like an angel below. For some moments indeed, I often love and rejoice in a wonderful manner: but alas, ‘How soon it dies away.’ I become comparatively cold, and can neither pray with freedom, nor rejoice with reverence.”

“Still, nature, the devil and grace, are striving with me: Christ however has the upper-hand; but I want him ‘to live and reign, the Lord of every motion of my soul.’”

“I prayed with my kindred at taking my leave of them.¹ My brother and sister were ill, and my mother weeping after me. I found a great struggle, and believe I should have stayed, but for those scriptures, He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me. And, Let the dead bury their dead; but go thou and preach the kingdom of God. My heart felt pain and sorrow: but I took up my cross, and went immediately to Bellygarane (where were a colony of Germans) and preached that night. O what is needful for a minister of Jesus! What faith, love, purity, divine light, life and strength to finish his course with joy!”

¹ He was then going to England the third, and which was the last time.

“Meeting the penitents, I could hardly speak in the last prayer, I was so overpowered with the presence and majesty of God.”

“I rose early this morning, after watering my pillow with my tears more than ever I remember to have done before.”

“Throughout the various exercises of the day I had strong assurance, that the Lord would eternally save me; especially as I sat at dinner, conversing with my brethren of the things of God.”

“Having this evening to myself without preaching (a rare thing with him) I shut myself up, and sought the Lord with prayers and tears. Shew me, my Lord, thy glory, or let me die that I may see thee! If I cannot perfectly love thee, and do thy will upon earth, send for me and take my soul to heaven. But Lord, God, hast thou not spoken by Moses, Deuteronomy xxx. 6. and by Ezekiel xxxiv. 23–32. If these are thy words and promises, I pray and plead, that they may be fulfilled in me, according to their utmost extent, O come and baptize me with fire!”

“At prayer with some friends, the Lord applied powerfully to my heart, ‘Go and sin no more!’ Now the Lord has answered for himself. I believe it is his will, that from this moment I should sin no more! and that I should have such a faith, as never to depart from Christ in thought, word, or deed; that so, being inseparably one with him I should walk in the spirit, and sing and praise him evermore! Angels praise my Saviour!”

“1757. Sunday. All the day I was happy in my Lord, rejoicing in confidence that he would save me eternally. I could pray, and love, and weep.”

“It was a day of great blessing, and of great trials. I came home through much snow and rain. But it was all sweet with Christ. I called on the strong for strength; and after meditation, lay down in peace.”

“Thursday. I employed all the day in reading the Hebrew and Greek scriptures, save some time which I spent in endeavouring to convince a man, that there is salvation for a person though he does not make use of the church liturgy.”

“With a heart full of matter, I preached on Ephesians vi. 11. I could truly say, that the law of thy mouth is dearer unto me, than thousands of gold and silver.”

“At dinner my soul was sweetly drawn out after God, I felt such an assurance of eternal salvation, as I never had before; not with such clearness of evidence.”

“I felt great love to all mankind. My soul pleaded with God in their behalf. O Jesus hasten thy kingdom. Come and put a period to sin and misery! O my God, suffer not a vain thought to live in me. I never can rest till Jesus has poured his humble, pure, and happy mind into my soul. For some moments I did taste of the felicity of heaven; but thro’ pain and unbelief it was of short continuance.”

“Friday. It being the public fast. I preached on Isaiah lviii. 3. It was a day of feasting to my soul. With great delight I rested in my God. And it seemed to me, that the people of God were not yet to suffer. Hereafter it will be; but at present, the grand controversy is with antichrist.¹ Jesus will avenge the quarrel of his covenant.”

¹ For some considerable time before, and during great part of his last sickness, his thoughts entered deeply, into the prophecies of Daniel and the Revelation. He calculated the times with great exactness, and spared no labour and pains, to be fully informed concerning the great things which those passages teach still await the world. In short he was rapt up in those future scenes, hastening to the coming of the Son of God, in his kingdom of grace and glory. His opinion was, that great and amazing things were at the door, and he has frequently said to a young man, “My brother if you live to the years of a man (meaning three score and ten) you shall see these things.”

“I seek perfection, and uninterrupted communion with the blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. True; I am not worthy of the crumbs under thy table; yet I look thro’ thy rich grace, for all the precious and eternal blessings of the new Covenant.”

“Sunday. This was a glorious day indeed. Great and marvellous were the blessings which God bestowed upon me. He blesses me in every duty: all is useful; all works together for my good. I go on my way singing the hundred and thirty-eighth psalm, They shall sing in the ways of the Lord; for great is the glory of the Lord.”

“Jesus was with me in all I did. He gave me light, love, help, joy, peace, and strength in all. In his Spirit I went to rest.”

*“Wherever I was, and in whatsoever I did, my soul delighted in God: never had I deeper, or more sweet manifestations of his gracious presence. I could not but praise him, and thirst for more perfect union with him! Surely this is the foretaste of glory! O if Christians did but rightly understand the nature, power, and extent of the kingdom of God in the soul, I am persuaded they would not rest satisfied with bare pardon of sin, and some joy and peace, when they may have perfect and uninterrupted rest! If once sin be totally destroyed, and the Spirit filled with the light, and love of God, it is then neither hurt nor hindred, by any person or thing; but steddily goes on its heavenly journey, united to Christ, more and more daily. It does not yet appear what we shall be, even in this world.”

*“O Christ, What hast thou done for me! What shall I say of, or unto thee? This I say, that I love thee! O let it be with all my heart, and soul, and mind, and strength. At intercession, I felt such a degree of the presence of God, as utterly amazed me. O glorious Lord, how shall I bless thee!”

*“My heart continually rested in God, and drank of the living waters; yea, my very body was supported by the joy wherewith my soul was refreshed: so that after preaching three times to-day, beside visiting the sick, and well; my strength was more than when I rose in the morning.”

“Friday. A day of fasting (a frequent practice of his.) At prayer my soul was greatly humbled before God. Entire resignation, without much joy, was the state of my heart this day.”

“Saturday, March 12, 1757. Preparing for a short journey to-day, and laying up my books, I felt some little distraction. I could bless God however, that I had not money to lay up. Alas, for the rich of this world: how are they to be pitied! How hardly can they be saved? Jesus, make and keep me poor in spirit; nor suffer this world ever to defile me. Suffer not my soul to cleave to the dust, but cause all my affections to flow towards thyself. I would not live upon earth. I desire, pray, and labour, that my heart may be in heaven, with Christ my head.”

“Sunday 13. I conversed with one to-day, who told me, that for fourteen years last past, she never found any unhappiness, but always rejoiced in the love of God. Before and after sacrament, I found such desire, as almost made my heart break. My soul and flesh cried, mourned and wept for the perfect love of God. There is a beauty and excellence in holiness, which has quite won my heart.”

“All day, both in reading, prayer, and conversation, I felt something of that promise, John iv. 14. I look for religion to possess, and entirely change me. I see and feel, that Christianity is something divine, living, generous, powerful, and internal. It is God dwelling in the soul of man, 2 Corinthians vi. 16.”

*“Friday 18. I prayed, and read till twelve. My body began then to complain. It does not like fasting; but my soul did banquet on the rich delicacies of the love and promises of God. I am in the way to heaven; but I want a heavenly nature, heaven within me. My soul can be satisfied with nothing less than God. Jesus, my dear Jesus, let me ever esteem thy blood, and righteousness above the whole world! Through thee I come to God. By thee I enter heaven. Thou art heaven.”

“My heart was penetrated with the goodness and love of God. I see still more clearly, that love is the fulfilling of the law—supreme, constant, and perfect love of God, and pure benevolent love to the whole of human kind.”

Happy soul, when once renew’d,

God in thee, and thou in God,

Only feel’st within thee move

Tenderness, compassion, love.

Love immense, and unconfin’d,

Love to all of human kind,

Love, which willeth all should live,

Love, which all to all would give,

Love, that over all prevails,

Love, that never, never fails:

Stand secure, for thou shalt prove

All th’ eternity of love.

“There is, there can be no higher, no better, no sweeter divinity than this, My beloved is mine, and I am his! O my soul rest in this! Be satisfied, and safe in the protecting, sanctifying, and reviving love of Immanuel, God with me.”

“The 33d chapter of Exodus came in my course of reading to-day. And O what pleading and communion between Moses and his God. Happy man! who conversed with the glorious Jehovah, face to face.¹ And yet St. John seems to express something higher and sweeter than even this, 1st Epistle i. 3. For certainly internal union with God, and a fulness of his spirit, are more excellent than any external manifestation can be.”

¹ That is with a degree of familiarity and access, which was not allowed to any of the other patriarchs or prophets. For strictly speaking, no man hath seen God at any time.

“I retired a few minutes after five, to wait for the coming of Jesus. My soul is all desire after Christ. I am resolved to love and serve him so as I have never yet done. Come Holy Ghost, and kindle the fire within my breast.”

*“From a quarter after four this morning till ten, spent in prayer, and reading the scriptures, and such humiliation of soul, such a sense of my vileness I hardly ever felt. It was genuine, godly sorrow indeed, with a clear sight of the odiousness of sin. I believe the first time I ever sinned, was brought to my remembrance. My head was as waters, and my heart as wax before the fire. But all the time I had a clear sense of the love of God; a witness that I was accepted in the beloved, and all the day after, my soul delighted itself in the Lord.”

*“I ought to esteem myself unworthy of any comfort; my sins having justly deserved damnation. The blood of Christ is of infinite value and efficacy, otherwise I should never be saved. Infirmities, so called, which once I passed over without much remorse, now appear heinous, black, and damnable, and if God did not bear witness with my spirit, that they are all forgiven, would sink me into misery. People are seldom sufficiently sensible of the odiousness of pride, anger, internal concupiscence, or an inordinate love of the creature; together with the neglect of self-denial, and bearing the daily cross. These are overlooked; yea, some even plead for, and attempt to justify them. Lord, let me never be an advocate for the devil. Give me grace heartily to love those who tell me of my faults. Search out my sin, till thou find none. My whole trust is in the blood of Jesus. I have no other plea; for this one is enough, it will, it doth prevail with God, and bring my soul to glory.”

*“In my closet the former part of this day, it was made indeed a time of love. I felt such sweetness, and divine felicity in my soul, and by faith beheld the glory of God in such a manner as words cannot describe. I saw and tasted God in all things. My Lord Jesus Christ appeared wonderful to me indeed, Isaiah ix. 6. Praise, blessing, honour, glory, and thanksgiving be ascribed to the holy and adorable Trinity. What could I have believed, what understood of thee, unless thou my Lord hadst revealed it to me?¹ O love divine! O the wisdom, and power of God! Human tongue cannot express, nor angel minds conceive, how great and wonderful ye are in the saints; by whom God is glorified, and in whom Christ is justified by the Spirit, (1 Timothy iii. 16.) To whom heaven is as it were let down, and whom eternal glory momentarily awaits! They now drink of the rivers of pleasure; of the well of life: and are warmed with the beams of the divine sun! They are delighted with praises, allured by pleasures, cloathed with light, and filled with God! Hallelujah! Amen.”

¹ He seems to refer to some particular communication from God of his Triune Majesty.

CHAPTER III.

The same subject continued.

T  HE continued advancement of his soul in the knowledge of God, is very discernible in the preceding sketch of his experience: although in the expression of it, and of what follows in particular, he seems often at a loss for words; human language falling so far short of those things of God, which can only be spiritually discerned. In these collections we see a soul peculiarly remarkable for a daily, serious, steady, exact and uniform course of walking inwardly with God, and attending outwardly on all the precepts of the gospel. He poured out, simply his thoughts from the standing treasury of his heart, for his own sole use; for the more effectual promotion of his intercourse with God, and for the better adjustment of all his spiritual concerns.

“1757. I was up before five, read and prayed till I went to chapel. I felt much. The Lord knows what! In the evening we (the society) met together in order to devote ourselves to God afresh, by renewing our covenant with him. My soul was greatly humbled before God, and felt that for my backslidings he might justly have cast me off: for although I have not wickedly departed from my God, yet for my blots and short-comings I was made to blush. Jesus however I know stands my advocate, and because he lives I live also.”

*“I rose early, and after prayer and sermon communicated. The adorable Saviour gave me a taste of his sweetness, and a sight of his glory. I read, prayed, and conversed with Christian friends the rest of the day; waiting for perfect love, and exhorting others earnestly to seek after the same. Surely nothing is so desirable as this: God in us, and the very perfection of gospel holiness. No man can be thoroughly blessed till this unmixed love of God purifies his heart and fills his whole soul.”

“In all I did all day, God was my life, my joy and my strength. His love was as fire within me. I never felt such a burning in my heart before. O Jesus, what hast thou done for me!”

*“I saw this day on a very triffling occasion, the necessity of having supernatural light, and a witness from God in all things, even of the common affairs of life, that I please him. Some things occur which seem to be in equilibrio, so that one may reason for hours, and not be able to turn the scale. O may I never want light from God, whereby I may clearly discern what I ought to do, and what avoid! And O let me have thy strength also, or the light that is in me will be turned to darkness; for alas, I often see my way but am lame, or drag on heavily!”

“Happy the man who gives up all for Christ. Who having discovered, that the favour and enjoyment of God is the pearl of great price, sells all earthly loves, and longs that he may buy,—freely receive the unspeakable gift of God.”

*“Soon after ten, I lay down but could not sleep, through a deep and comfortable sense of the love of Christ. His Spirit rested upon me and made my heart flame with love to my God, and my all. It never entered into my heart to conceive the loving him with all the heart, till he revealed it to me by his Spirit.”

“Throughout the whole of my progress, I feel that Satan is my enemy, but Jesus is my friend. I fear not then: my Lord will save me from every evil work, and preserve me to his heavenly kingdom.”

“The fire of divine love burned incessantly in my soul. Yet I perceive I must still wear some of the marks of my captivity, namely sickness, infirmity and death. My soul would fain fly up to God, but I am yet detained. I conversed with some eminent Christians, and Jesus fulfilled his word, being with us of a truth.”

“This day was as yesterday, and much more abundantly. Indeed I can declare how greatly the Lord abased my soul, and broke me as it were in pieces. I could not perceive, that any sin had place in me; but I wait for a stronger evidence that I am made pure in heart. O God, shew me what by grace I am. Shew me if there be pride, anger or unbelief in my heart. Jesus, Son of the living God, send down the Holy Ghost from the Father, to bear me witness, and to shine upon thine own work. Humble and prove, but strengthen and comfort me too. I am thine. There is not one doubt in my heart thou wilt save me for ever. I sing praises! Te Deum is sweet to me; so is the Magnificate, and the Nunc Dimittis. O what has God wrought for me! Jesus thou art my strength and righteousness! I am safe in thee, thou art my rock! Salvation is unto me for walls and bulwarks.”

“Having preached on, obtained promises, and having met the society, I retired about ten: it was a festal day to my soul. I do feel from experience and scripture, that God has indeed changed my heart, and destroyed the works of the devil. My heart cried for humility and love; the whole mind of Christ.”

“The love of God still increased more abundantly than ever; the fire burned vehemently within me. I saw more clearly, that God had confirmed me in his favour; and that all was quietness and assurance for ever. I am astonished at the gift of God, and am willing if it pleaseth him to be hated of all nations for his name-sake. I will sing of mercy and judgment.”

“This day I was sorely tempted. Lord Jesus, thou knowest what my temptations are. I would rather die than deny thee by sinning against thee. Thou seest my simple heart. O guard and cover my head. My enemies are many, subtle, and powerful, and malicious; but thou art greater than them all. O God, thou art my friend, and strong helper, I will trust, and not be afraid.”

“I sensibly felt the Lord impressing his image on my soul. O perfect love! ’Tis all in all in religion. I want it above every thing, even this fulness of God in Christ.”

“The Lord gives me to drink of his love as out of a river. All things work together for my good. May every one that is godly, praise him for this, and trust in his name for ever!”

“I took to my bed through violence of pain in my head, and other symptoms of a fever. I resigned myself to God, and was unmoved. I wept with gratitude to my good God. My fever soon abated, and in the night I got rest. So graciously does he deal with me!”

*“At the Lord’s table, I had not only a clear witness that all was forgiven me; but likewise strong assurance, that God had purified my heart by faith. My soul was deeply affected with his love. The blessed Jesus is present with, and precious to me. O let my soul adore the Lord, and tell of his works with gladness. Let this be written for the generations to come.”

*“I wept with a sense of the goodness of God to me, and found all my dependance is on Christ. Christ alone! He makes me to rejoice in his salvation. His blood, and not my holiness, or usefulness is the only cause of my acceptance, and final justification. O who can bear praise, and rejoice in contempt? Only he that is fully crucified with Christ. This is my aim, to burn and flame with pure love to God. Nothing less than the full enjoyment of him shall ever satisfy me. Thy presence makes my heaven. O praise the Lord ye servants of the Lord, all ye that do his pleasure! Why am I not lost in astonishment and love! O the goodness and condescension of the blessed Jesus!”

“I was this day extremely ill in body; there was a burning all over my flesh. But God was the rest and life of my soul; who, notwithstanding my sickness, enabled me to continue in prayer and reading his word; yea, there was a burning of love in my heart. O may I sink into this boundless sea, and lose myself in God!”

“This afternoon, taking a view of my whole life, from my infancy, the manner of bringing me up, &c. I could not but admire and adore with weeping, the goodness of God for his dealings with me. I was an ignorant poor sinner; having no knowledge of God, and little of this world. But the Lord looked upon me, and said unto me live! My soul doth praise and magnify his name for ever! O for an enlarged heart! Jesus thou art my strength.”

*“I believe great things are at hand for me. This was one of my best days, nothing will satisfy me till John xiv. 23. is more fully than ever fulfilled in me: And my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. Jesus saith I come quickly. Lord Jesus come! My soul burns with desire. I pant for the living God. O strengthen me to do always the things that please Thee! I believe thou wilt fully and finally save me.”

“O what a mystery is the love of Christ! How sweet a banquet! How delicious a wine! Lord thou hast ravished me with thy love! Death is now sweet to me; and eternity affords me a most blessed and glorious hope. O what has God done for me! Holy Lord, accept of my heartiest praise, and the most perfect love that I at present can give.”

*“Both my body and soul were affected, with the great power of God resting upon me this Day. My whole nature bowed before the present deity; and his high praises were in my mouth. He said unto my soul, ‘Thou art made whole.’ I replied, ‘Lord, I believe.’”

“In the midst of a variety of critical circumstances, my conscience was kept pure. He that walketh uprightly, walketh surely. And What can harm you if ye be followers of that which is good?”

*“My soul longs for fuller union with God; for more of the root and fruit of holiness, faith, and love. O let me lean on thy breast, and kiss thy feet. Keep me, my Lord, in thy bosom.”

“All day my cup ran over. I came to my room both wet and weary and lay down happy. My spirit still magnifies the Lord. I rest in him. He giveth his beloved rest.”

*“To rejoice evermore, is my portion under the sun. My heart dissolves with the goodness of God. Truly thou art unto me a place of broad rivers, Isaiah xxxiii. Blessed be the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost! A stranger intermeddleth not with the happiness which I feel! The half cannot be told. O, it is heaven upon earth! After several exercises of faith, love and prayer, I lay down in peace. My heart is full; and yet

‘A point my good, a drop my store,

‘Eager I ask, and pant for more.’

“O how sweet is it to retire from the world; yea, even from converse with the holiest Christians, to wait upon God alone; and to get closer acquaintance with the blessed Jesus. Happy the man that can go to God at any time, praying to him with faith and fervency. My God, all my soul cries aloud for more of thy light and love. Manifest thyself more fully within me!”

“Lord, I know not that there is any one living, that has greater cause to love, and serve thee in truth, than myself; for thy ways of love towards me, have been, and still are very wonderful. O how many sins hast thou forgiven me? How many snares of the devil hast thou broken, and delivered me from? How many pains and afflictions hast thou supported me under? How many fears and sorrows hast thou from time to time, banished from my heart? Thou hast given me also of thy gifts; and with reverence I speak it, thou hast given me thy grace. Thou hast sent me to preach thy word, and given me favour in the eyes of the people; neither have I spent my strength in vain. I believe Lord thou hast given me thyself, and that thou wilt give me in, and with thee, both grace and glory!”

*“I retired to fast; and poured out my heart for my own soul, for the church of God, and for mankind in general; that God would reform the whole world. Days of fasting become sweet to me. I find more and more delight in them. But by grace I am saved. Jesus is my righteousness. Thro’ faith in his blood, I offer myself, and all I do to him. The favour of God I obtained by his death; the image of God is stamped upon my heart by his Spirit; and thro’ his intercession, I obtain everlasting life. And yet will he reward every man according to his works.”

“I was this day sensibly convinced of the danger of following impulses of any kind, unless supported by the express authority of scripture. Nature and Satan, suggest a variety of things, which having a shew of truth and goodness, often lead persons into extravagance and error. It seems however a sure rule, that whatsoever promotes or increases purity and meekness, love towards God, and our neighbour, must be from heaven. And whatsoever does not tend to this, ought to be rejected. But O what need is there here, of spiritual discernment, to distinguish between the real graces of the Holy Ghost, and the counterfeit appearances of the devil, and self-love! God of truth, and of love, lead and establish my soul in the paths of justice, mercy, truth, and humility. Make me of a quick understanding in thy fear; nor leave me a moment to my own wisdom, or strength. My help cometh from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. Praise the Lord O my soul!”

“I adore thee, O my God, that thou hast made it lawful for me to pray to thee. Oh, how great is thy condescension to regard such a poor creature as me! I will extol thy goodness, O Lord, my king.”

“All day long my heart burned with the love of God. My desires were unutterable; but he who knows the mind of the Spirit, will grant me all my petitions.”

“I had close trials: but the consolations of God were so many, and so strong, that I was borne above them. My body and soul were exceedingly strengthened by the divine grace. The baptism of fire I experience more than ever. But still I am a poor creature.”

“O how soon will this dream of life be ended! Lord, I long to see thee as thou art. Give me patience, gracious Lord.”

*“For about two hours in my room, I found such communion with God, as my pen cannot write: no, it is beyond the power of words to describe the happiness which I felt. Alas! that men should be so ungrateful to God, and such enemies to their own soul, as not to seek happiness in Jesus. O the delight of a soul fully united to God!”

“At his table, the Lord met me this day, in a wonderful manner. My whole frame was so affected and overpowered, that I was ready to resign my soul into his hands.”

“I was still more deeply sensible of God’s presence. My desire was so strong, that it even pained my breast exceedingly. Indeed I cannot tell what I then felt. It was the work of God; but he knows in what manner, and degree. The fire spread; the light shined; and the power wrought: in short, God within me lived! Sing a new song, O my soul; sing with a mighty voice. Proclaim to angels and men, the goodness of the Lord. Jesus help me to praise thee yet more and more!”

“I met with several trials to-day, but it was given me to bear them chearfully, and to praise the Lord, who has given me integrity of heart, and simplicity of intention, in all my ways. Lord I love thee. I will praise thy name yet more, even for ever and ever!”

“O how plain is it, that God reveals to babes, those gracious things which are hid from the wise and prudent; so doth he magnify his mercy, and stain the pride of human glory. In my closet I wept much, that I may be more filled with God than ever.”

“I thirsted and prayed this day to be with him. My whole soul was in a flame for God. O for more faith, to see him continually!”

“Lord, I am sorely tempted, but thou comfortest me. I am happy in thy love. Still open thy kingdom more fully and powerfully within me.”

“In all things I come short; but I have the testimony of a good conscience.”

*“I stand as in the presence of God. The awe of God I feel rests upon my soul. O how dreadful, and yet how joyful is this place! Lord Jesu, thou art Immanuel, God with me!”

“I mourned for the sins of the people, and found a willingness even to lay down my life, if that would save them from hell. Many wept, and trembled. O the depths of love in God!”

“I felt this day an ardent desire to suffer for his name-sake, tho’ I am conscious of my own weakness.”

“Being much disturbed by dreams, I rose early, and called upon God. I continued reading, praying, and weeping, till seven in the evening. I was mollified, and deeply humbled. My soul adored Immanuel, and desired to die, rather than offend him. O Holy Ghost, abide with, and in me for ever! A short sentence which occurred this day in reading, and which I made the subject of discourse, deeply affected me; namely.

’אלהים אתה אלי‘

“O God, thou art my God. Blessed be thy Majesty, and exalted be thy name. Let the earth and heavens praise and proclaim thy greatness and glory. Jesus, I love and adore thee! My soul’s delight is in thee!”

“I was told of some who talked evil of me. I prayed for myself, and for them, and truly the love of God was as a mighty fire in my soul. O what a heaven is this!”

“Altho’ love and joy lived and flowed in me, yet I wept and made supplication, being strongly tempted by the devil. Ah Lord. Thou knowest my state and trials. My desire is before thee, and my groanings are not hid from thee. Hast not thou made me pure, and sealed me thine for ever! Shine on thy work, and bear thy witness with my heart. Suffer not thy servant to be of a doubtful mind.”

“I see, that I ought to be much in prayer for the Holy Ghost. I plainly perceive that to be taught by him for one hour, is more profitable to the soul than many days reading.”

“I spent several hours in private, begging of God to enable me to fulfil the law of love. I feel so as I cannot write, the extent of Christian obedience. How deep, how wide!”

“Deliver me O Lord from the strife of tongues, and from the ungodly, who are a sword of thine. I found in retirement this day sore struggles, and deep consolation.”

*“O how great is the profit of simple prayer, and diligent reading of the holy scriptures? They are I find, of singular service to me. My soul is calmed, sweetened, melted, invigorated, and sensibly strengthened in the exercise of these holy duties. I weep and pray, and give thanks: yet still, I want deeper repentance, and much more humility. I would be penetrated with the sense of my own helplessness; and I do not find power equal to my will. I live however by faith, and find God unspeakably, and continually present.”

“My soul was solidly happy, and longing for humility this day. I desire to be simple, and filled more abundantly with love to God and my neighbour.”

“I never felt such gratitude to God, as I did this day, for bringing me from the idolatry of the Romish church. My heart was grieved in reading some of their horrid doctrines¹ about saints, and images. O God, thou hast done this for me; and thou hast done many thousand things beside for me; and now I beseech thee do this for me, give me an humble, thankful and penitent heart.”

¹ He was about this time, employed partly in reading Bishop Usher’s famous disputation with the Jesuits in Ireland. And of this book he says, ‘I cannot think that a papist who has learning and the fear of God, can, after reading it, remain in the errors of Popery.’

“This was a feast, and a fast day to my soul. All the ordinances of God are exceeding precious and profitable to me.”

“I was all day deeply engaged with God: wept much, and prayed earnestly, yet I had not much joy. I had a full and firm confidence that he would fulfil his word of promise to my soul. My weakness can do nothing without thy power. I lay hold on thy strength, and offer myself to thy holy will. O let me glorify thee, as well by suffering as by doing.”

“This morning I met with a woman where I breakfasted, who was exceeding happy in God. A few weeks ago I met her in the same place, but she was then utterly dead and careless. I then spoke plainly to her, and at parting, after prayer, said ‘I pray God you may never rest till you rest in Christ.’ The words were applied to her heart, and her burden increased every day, so that she was brought almost to black despair, when God revealed his love in her heart. She could now scarce tell it thro’ weeping. O what a God is the God of the Christians!”

“January 1758, Sunday 1. We met at four, and after prayer I preached on Psalms xc. 12. We had the good Mr. —— at the chapel, whose humility and fervour, more than compensated for the irregularity of his sermon. I have had much more happiness on other days, than on this sabbath, tho’ not more sincerity and resignation. I feel my weakness and confess my ignorance, and implore the wisdom and power of God.”

“After being some hours in my room, the fire from heaven went through me, and I could praise the Lord continually, for his goodness to me. I find such an impression of his power and love, as cannot be expressed in words.”

*“This whole sabbath was both a delight and honourable to me. Such revelations of God’s goodness; such manifestations of his Spirit, and such operations of his love, I never felt. My very outward man was affected and refreshed. It cannot be declared what I then felt. Oh there is much in these words, Ye shall be baptised with the Holy Ghost and with fire. Whatsoever I did, the Lord made it to prosper. O holy Father, let all the hosts of heaven praise and adore thy name!”

“God is love. This is the foundation of all my hopes. I feel much shame, because of my infirmities; but I have also sweet consolations.”

“I was seized with a violent pain in my stomach, and was exceeding ill; however by the mercy and power of God, I went through the duties of the day with delight, and could thank God for pain, so as I never could before.”

“As I read my Greek testament this morning, my soul magnified the Lord for the description, and progress of his work, contained in the acts of the apostles. And while I am now writing, my soul is so cheared with the fire of love, as I cannot describe, unless to such as experience the same.”

“Lord, I have not publickly preached for thee this day, but I have had many blessings from thee, and mine heart has been in thy work. I beseech thee bless the labours of thy more faithful servants, whom I have heard.”

*“I have great cause to praise God, that I am free from worldly care. Surely I was appointed to this work in which I am engaged. O that I may obtain mercy of the Lord, to be found faithful! O Jesus, plead thou my cause in the heavens, and fill me with thy grace here upon earth. All my hope of heaven stands in thee! O shew me, if there be ought in me which thou abhorrest? And let me hear thee say, ‘Thou art all fair, my love, there is no spot in thee.’”

“O that I could love and obey, as fast as I learn. Truth appears to me every day with new lustre: new springs are opened, and the best wine kept until last.”

“Sunday 19. After asking help from God, I preached my farewel sermon (farewel indeed; It was the last he preached in London, and the last day of his being there) at the Foundery, from Acts xx. 32. And now, brethren I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified. And in the evening, I bid them farewel at the chapel in West-street, from Colossians ii. 6. As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him. In all the duties of the day, public and private, God was exceeding gracious to me. I believe I never felt such strength of love. I was in truth sick of love. I could not sufficiently praise him. All words come far short of what I felt. Lord, thou hast given me much favour in the eyes of this people. They shew it by words and deeds; yea prayers and tears! Reward them a thousand fold. Bring me safe to Bristol, that there I may shew forth the praises of the Lord, and declare thy righteousness, and thy salvation. Amen, Lord Jesus.”

“Monday 20. After prayer with our family, I set out in the machine. I read my Hebrew psalter, and the Christian pattern. I found great tranquility of mind, and my spirit was refreshed with the goodness of God. I conversed with three gentlemen, my companions in the coach, on divine subjects. I prayed earnestly to God before I set out, that my fellow travellers might not swear or curse, and the Lord heard me; for so it was; they rather approved of scripture subjects and studies. O the joy of a good conscience! And the rest which the soul finds in the love of God. The Lord supplies the absence of friends, and all things that are dear to us. His presence makes our paradise. It is not where but what we are, which is the great matter.”

“Thursday 23. At Bristol, I met Mr. W. T. under whose preaching (as has been related) God gave me the clear witness of his forgiving love. Our meeting was for the better. As iron sharpneth iron, so doth the countenance of a man his friend. We remembered the years of the right hand of the most high; and how the Lord filled our mouths with laughter, when he brought back our captivity. Lord bless this man, and make him faithful in all things! And now that I am come to this city to preach the gospel of the kingdom, and spend my life and strength in thy service; assist me O Lord, and make thy goodness known to me. Give me wisdom and strength, O help me Lord Jesus, to glorify thy name. Amen.”

“I read through to day, the epistle of St. James. And I do not wonder that the proud, the sensual, and the lovers of the world, yea all the ungodly of the earth, should find fault with it. In prayer with the family, the spirit was poured out from on high upon us, and great grace rested upon us all.”

“After prayer this morning, I began and read through, in Greek and Latin the 2d. Epistle to Timothy, and found much instruction, and reproof for my soul. O what a man ought a minister to be! How holy, and how wise! What courage, zeal, patience and temperance, are necessary for him in an especial manner in order to give account of himself and others to God with joy.”

“Preaching on 1 John iv. 18. My mind was more clearly enlightened than ever, to see that perfect love is Christian perfection. By simple, but powerful faith, I desire to attain it; and to live and grow in this love, till my spirit returns to God.”

With such desires, and in such meditations as these did he spend his days and nights, longing and sighing for the sight of God continually; and in his prayers, the violence of his affections, did not a little increase the weakness of his body.

The End of the Eleventh VOLUME.

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Table of Contents

The Works of the Rev. John Wesley, M.A.

THE CONTENTS Of the Eleventh Volume.

An EXTRACT of the LIFE AND DEATH OF Mr. THOMAS HALIBURTON.

CHAPTER IV.

An EXTRACT of the LIFE of Monsieur DE RENTY, A late Nobleman of France.

CHAPTER I.

CHAPTER II.

CHAPTER III.

CHAPTER IV.

CHAPTER V.

CHAPTER VI.

CHAPTER VII.

CHAPTER VIII.

SECTION I.

SECTION II.

SECTION III.

SECTION IV.

CHAPTER IX.

CHAPTER X.

An EXTRACT from the LIFE and DEATH of THOMAS WALSH.

THE INTRODUCTION.

CHAPTER I.

CHAPTER II.

CHAPTER III.

CHAPTER IV.

CHAPTER V.

CHAPTER VI.

CHAPTER VII.

CHAPTER VIII.

CHAPTER IX.

CHAPTER X.

CHAPTER XI.

CHAPTER XII.

CHAPTER I.

CHAPTER II.

CHAPTER III.

CHAPTER IV.

CHAPTER V.

CHAPTER VI.

CHAPTER VII.

CHAPTER VIII.

CHAPTER IX.

CHAPTER X.

CHAPTER XI.

CHAPTER ♦XII.

CHAPTER I.

CHAPTER II.

CHAPTER III.

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE